World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day: Healing And Hope

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day falls on June 1st. This day can provide an opportunity to support those who have experienced narcissistic abuse, educate the public, and promote healing for survivors. Because narcissistic abuse often leaves no visible marks, it can be difficult to recognize, both for those experiencing it and for the people who care about them.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. The sections below explore what narcissistic abuse can look like, how it may affect survivors, and the paths that can support healing.

What is narcissistic abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a term that generally describes a type of emotional abuse that individuals may experience at the hands of a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or other personality traits that affect a person's empathy levels. This kind of abuse can take the form of manipulation, shaming, and being made to believe that one's needs and experiences are invalid.

Not all narcissistic abuse may be perpetrated by people with a diagnosed personality disorder, but NPD can be commonly associated with it. People with NPD often care primarily about their own feelings and experiences and may blame, shame, and manipulate those around them to get what they want. For people close to those with NPD, this can take a significant toll on their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, and the effects can range from mild to severe.

Signs of narcissistic personality disorder

People who have NPD may display a range of traits that affect how they relate to others. Some of the more common signs can include the following:

• Disregard for others' feelings
• Inflated sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with beauty, power, or success
• Need for praise or admiration
• Sense of entitlement
• Tendency to exploit others to meet their own needs

Recognizing these traits can be a starting point, but it may also help to understand the patterns of behavior that tend to characterize narcissistic abuse.

The 4 D's of narcissistic abuse

Some people find it helpful to remember the 4 D's of narcissistic abuse, a framework that describes patterns that may appear in these dynamics. These can include the following:

• Deny: The person may refuse to acknowledge their behavior or insist that events did not happen the way you remember them.
• Dismiss: Your concerns or feelings may be minimized or brushed aside as unimportant.
• Devalue: The person may belittle, criticize, or undermine your sense of worth over time.
• Discard: When you no longer serve their needs, the person may abruptly withdraw, reject, or end the relationship, sometimes referred to as divorce or discard.

These patterns can help make sense of experiences that may otherwise feel confusing, and they can affect a wide range of people.

Who can experience narcissistic abuse?

Anyone close to someone with narcissistic traits may be affected, including children, romantic partners, friends, family members, and even employees. Because these relationships can span so many parts of a person's life, learning to recognize the signs may be an important step toward support.

Recognizing narcissistic abuse in yourself or others

Because emotional abuse, including narcissistic abuse, often has no physical signs, it may be difficult to tell if you or one of your loved ones is living with this type of abuse. Still, certain indicators can offer clues about what someone may be experiencing.

Signs someone may be experiencing narcissistic abuse

Some signs and symptoms may suggest a person is experiencing narcissistic abuse. These can include the following:

• People-pleasing tendencies
• Self-destructive habits
• Low self-esteem
• A lack of trust in oneself
• Depression, anxiety, or PTSD symptoms

Additionally, if you witness a loved one's partner engaging in abusive behavior, such as manipulating, gaslighting, shaming, or belittling, this could be indicative of a pattern of narcissistic abuse. Understanding where an awareness day like this one comes from can offer helpful context for these experiences.

History of World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day

In 2016, World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day was first honored by psychotherapist Bree Bonchay, an author and clinician who has focused much of her work on supporting survivors of narcissistic and emotional abuse. This day was initiated primarily to spread awareness about narcissistic abuse and its effects, as well as how to spot the signs and how to heal from it.

The day has grown to include an annual summit that has reached tens of thousands of attendees, offering education and connection for survivors and advocates alike. Many people also take part through the #IFMYWOUNDSWEREVISIBLE hashtag campaign, which invites survivors to share their stories and raise awareness of abuse that often leaves no outward signs.

World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day may be a particularly effective way to raise awareness because it can shine a light on the fact that narcissistic abuse can be difficult to pinpoint. While physical abuse often leaves cuts, bruises, and other clear signs, narcissistic abuse tends to be harder to identify. By honoring this day, communities can call attention to the subtle signs of narcissistic abuse and encourage affected individuals to seek help.

How to participate in World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day

There are many ways to take part in the day and support those affected by narcissistic abuse. You might consider some of the following options:

• Share educational content about narcissistic abuse on social media.
• Use the #IFMYWOUNDSWEREVISIBLE hashtag to help raise awareness.
• Attend virtual summit events or online discussions.
• Offer support to survivors in your own life.
• Donate to or volunteer with domestic violence organizations.

Participating in these ways can help build understanding, which may be especially meaningful given how lasting the effects of narcissistic abuse can be.

Understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse

Even when someone ends a relationship with a person who is abusive, the effects of the abuse may remain. Many people who experience narcissistic abuse navigate a range of challenges long after the relationship ends.

Anxiety and hypervigilance

If you have experienced abuse from someone with NPD, you may live with anxiety due to the person's controlling or manipulative behavior. You may also experience anxiety in relationships with other people because of negative experiences with the person who was abusive. Working with a therapist may lessen your symptoms and can be useful if you experience anxiety attacks, panic attacks, or hypervigilance.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

It can be common for survivors of narcissistic abuse to experience symptoms of PTSD. Being with a partner who is abusive can cause significant fear and distress, potentially leading the brain to stay on high alert for threats. Even after someone has left an abusive situation, they may still experience flashbacks, panic, sleep disturbances, mood changes, and other PTSD symptoms related to the other person's behavior.

Depression and low self-worth

Feelings of sadness and low self-esteem can be another common experience for survivors. Depression can develop after being made to feel small, unimportant, or worthless, and these feelings may persist even after someone has left an abusive situation. In addition to being told they are useless or worthless, survivors may have been gaslit into believing they don't know what they're talking about, which can lead individuals to question their own judgment and begin not to trust themselves.

Physical health concerns

The effects of narcissistic abuse often extend beyond mental health concerns. People experiencing or recovering from abuse may exhibit the following physical concerns:

• Headaches
• Gastrointestinal distress
• Sleep disruptions
• Muscle tension
• Chronic pain
• Fatigue
• Cardiovascular disease

Cognitive and emotional challenges

Experiencing narcissistic abuse may affect a person's ability to focus or concentrate on everyday tasks. This can be especially difficult if an individual experiences traumatic memories or flashbacks related to the abuse. Survivors may also find it hard to regulate their emotions and may find it difficult to validate their own feelings if they have been repeatedly told they are wrong or unimportant.

Trust and relationship difficulties

After being close to someone who treated them badly, survivors of narcissistic abuse may find it hard to trust other people enough to get close to them or form relationships. Engaging in self-care and working with a mental health professional can improve one's ability to trust, which points toward the many paths that can support recovery.

Pathways to healing from narcissistic abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing narcissistic abuse, know that healing is possible. Recovery often looks different for everyone, and options like leaving the relationship, working with a therapist, or investing more time in self-care can all be useful tools. The sections below explore some of these pathways.

How long does healing take?

Healing from narcissistic abuse is rarely linear, and there is no single "right" timeline. Factors such as the duration of the abuse, the support available, and individual circumstances may all influence how recovery unfolds, and it can help to remember that taking time is a natural part of the process.

Join a support group

You can find in-person and online support groups for those healing from or experiencing narcissistic abuse. In these groups, you can process your emotions and discuss your experiences with other people who may understand what you've been through.

Practice self-validation and set boundaries

When you're experiencing or healing from narcissistic abuse, you may feel a lot of difficult emotions, including grief, fear, rage, and confusion. It can be important to validate to yourself that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, without judging yourself for those emotions. Because gaslighting can lead survivors to doubt their own perceptions, relearning to trust yourself may be a meaningful part of recovery, whether that means keeping a journal, naming your feelings, or reminding yourself that your experiences are real. Setting boundaries with others can also be a helpful tool as you move forward.

Work with a therapist

The amount of trauma a person carries from experiencing narcissistic abuse often varies from person to person. Especially for those who have experienced severe abuse, working with a therapist can be an effective way to process feelings and memories and learn to move forward. For many people, online therapy can make this kind of support more accessible. In some cases, additional support options may be helpful. BetterHelp now offers psychiatry services through Uplift, which can be an additional care option alongside therapy for individuals ages 18 and older. When clinically appropriate, and based on a licensed psychiatric provider's evaluation, psychiatry services may include medication management as part of a holistic mental health care experience. Not everyone needs or benefits from medication, and all treatment decisions are made by a licensed psychiatric provider.

*Based on finalized paid psychiatry visits with a copay. Insurance availability, coverage, and costs vary by state, plan, provider network, and provider availability.

Educate yourself and others

Educating people on the signs and dangers of narcissistic abuse can be empowering. By equipping yourself and others with knowledge about this kind of abuse, you can also help yourself heal and move forward.

How online therapy can support healing

For survivors of abuse, the setting in which care takes place can matter a great deal. Online therapy allows you to connect with a licensed therapist from one of the world's largest networks of providers, with more than 30,000 qualified therapists worldwide, from the comfort of your own home, which may feel safer and more manageable for people recovering from trauma. Some providers on BetterHelp may be in-network with certain health plans, and co-pays average about $23/session for eligible members. Coverage varies by plan, provider, and therapist availability, so it can help to check your in-network status on the BetterHelp site.

Flexible scheduling and the ability to reach your therapist through in-app messaging between sessions can also make ongoing support easier to maintain. You can learn more about how online therapy works and whether it might fit your needs. For those who may benefit from additional support, BetterHelp now offers psychiatry services through Uplift, which can be part of a holistic mental health care experience. You can learn more or get started with psychiatry when you're ready. Medication availability and coverage may vary by member location, clinical appropriateness, and individual pharmacy/insurance benefits. Prescribing decisions are made by the treating clinicians. We do not guarantee that any specific medication will be prescribed or covered by a member's insurance plan.

How effective is online therapy for trauma recovery?

One recent study found that video-delivered psychotherapy can be comparable to in-person treatment, with strong effects for conditions like PTSD, which can arise in response to narcissistic abuse. This is reflected in real-world outcomes, as 72% of BetterHelp users experienced a reduction in symptoms within 12 weeks of beginning treatment. For survivors weighing their options, this can be encouraging evidence that meaningful support may be available in more than one form. When you're ready, you can get started with a licensed therapist.