Is Dating Your Best Friend A Good Idea?
By Joy Youell
Updated December 09, 2019
Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault
When friendships deepen, sometimes romantic feelings can begin to occur within you. When you start to feel romantically attracted to a good friend, you may wonder if you should act on those feelings. It's important to acknowledge and respect your feelings while making a good choice in a romantic partner. When a crush or romantic feelings emerge, you have a decision to make. In this article, we are going to discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages of dating your best friend.
The Advantages of Dating Your Best Friend
- You Already Know A Lot About the Person You Are Dating
One advantage of dating your best friend is that you are already close. There is no need to form a new bond. You have a history and shared experiences. You already know that you connect with that person. You can skip past the novelty of meeting a stranger and trying to figure out whether or not you would work as a couple.
- Your Friends and Family Already Know Them
When you have a best friend who is supportive and amazing, your friends and family already know them. Introducing a new romantic interest to your loved ones can be a tenuous experience because there is a potential for incompatibility. With your best friend, you already know that they work well with your favorite people. Fitting into your existing social circle may be an important part of your romantic relationship.
- They Know and Understand You
Dating can be nerve-wracking. You may feel pressure to be on top of your game, to look and act your best when you are around someone that you are trying to impress. When you start dating your best friend, this pressure can be reduced. Your friend has already seen you in your less attractive and less impressive times, and they are still here for you. That is one great reason to involve yourself with your best friend.
- You Already Feel Secure with Your Best Friend
Trust and security are important in relationships. These can take a while to build when you start dating someone new. With your best friend, you should feel secure already. This security can provide a good foundation for a romantic relationship.
You never know how someone is going to act when you enter into a new relationship. People have varying degrees of social and emotional maturity. These factors play a role in how long a relationship lasts and how well it ends if it doesn't work out. A best friend, on the other hand, truly cares about you and may be less likely to overreact to the learning curve of a new relationship. You also may have more emotional currency invested in the relationship, inspiring you to problem-solve and work through issues.
The Disadvantages of Dating Your Best Friend
- There is a Risk of Losing the Friendship
Entering an intimate, romantic relationship with a friend is not without risks. Not all romantic relationships are long-term. If the romantic element of your relationship ends, it is possible that you will also lose the friendship. It takes an extremely strong friendship to endure the end of a relationship. This could be considered a disadvantage to starting a relationship with your best friend.
- The Relationship Dynamic Changes When You Begin Dating Each Other
Your best friend is always your best friend. You speak with and see each other whenever you like, but you also have the freedom to go off and do your own thing without any obligations. When you begin dating, that dynamic could change. It is no longer only a friendship, but a relationship that may have more responsibilities than you had in the friendship. Expectations, boundaries, and other aspects will need to be clearly defined during the relational transition.
- You May End Up Losing More Than A Best Friend If the Relationship Ends
When you have a best friend, you will also have a circle of friends that revolves around your friendship. When you get into a relationship with your best friend, this circle will most certainly already have sides that they picked long before the relationship began. Should the relationship fail, you will not only lose your best friend but all of the friends that take their side as well. You need to keep this in mind before getting involved with your best friend.
- Your Relationship Will Require the Support of Other Friends
Having a best friend means always having someone to lean on when you are going through challenging or frustrating times. But what happens when your best friend becomes your significant other? Although you will still be able to vent to them about some things, all the frustrating moments that you have with them will have to be discussed with someone else. If you have no one else to turn to, this can be even more difficult to deal with. Other friendships become important as a means of support and guidance.
- You May Find You Don't Like Them As Much As Before
In every friendship, there is often more than enough space, and you only see each other as often as you both want to. With a romantic relationship, there is a lot more work that needs to be put in and a lot more quality time spent together. This quality time may alter the way that you see your best friend, causing you to like them less. Experiencing decreased attraction may be temporary or may even point to a larger issue.
So, is dating your best friend a good idea? The truth is that it all depends on your situation. If you both feel the same way towards each other and you think that the bond is strong enough to move forward, then the relationship should work out. Partnering with someone romantically is an exciting move that can add to your overall happiness and satisfaction. You may find that your relationship-building habits need outside guidance or advice. Remember that many people have been through situations like these and can offer helpful examples and support.
Find Relationship Advice
Do you need more advice when it comes to dating your best friend? Have you had a relationship that recently ended, and could you use some help coping? BetterHelp is an online counseling platform dedicated to providing affordable and convenient online counseling for those who need it. If you think you could benefit from this, you can sign up to connect with the right online counselor that works best for you. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people dealing with similar issues.
"Mark has been extremely attentive to everything that I disclose. He's not only provided me support but insight and encouragement to let me know I'm on a good path to self improvement and discovery. Furthermore, Mark has provided me valuable insight on my romantic relationship, specifically with learning more about the relationship dynamics and how to build a stronger, healthier relationship."
"A year ago, I was experiencing difficulties in my relationship, which highly affected my psychological state and interfered with my work. At one point, I decided to try Betterhelp.com. My counselor Dr. Brewer helped me to see some things I couldn't on my own and encouraged me to prioritize myself. It was a huge help for me at that point, which led to the decisions I am happy about."
Dating is a wonderful way to connect with another person very meaningfully. While there are many important factors to consider, honoring the capacity you have for love by sharing it with someone is a beautiful way to express yourself. When you find that a friend with whom you are close becomes romantically attractive, it may be a positive step to change the nature of your relationship. The guidance you need for a healthy relationship with your best friend is right around the corner. Take the first step today.