Breaking free from fixation: Reducing its impact on personal growth and relationships

The world can be full of high expectations and endless to-do lists, where juggling work and personal life demands can seem like an Olympic feat. Because of these factors and many others, millions of adults in the US face mental illness each year. While many factors contribute to this reality, a common thread is the idea of fixation. Fixation can be seen in an analogy of a sailor. Imagine a sailor so focused on avoiding a single rock that they fail to see an incoming storm. In essence, fixation is an obsessive focus or attachment to a particular idea, object, or person, to the point that it stifles one's ability to think freely or grow.

Even with its tremendous capacity for creativity and innovation, the human mind can sometimes get stuck or fixated on outdated ideas, beliefs, or memories. This stagnation may affect personal aspirations and throw a wrench in relationships and social interactions. As you unpack how fixation may impact your life, looking at tools and strategies for breaking free from its grip may be helpful to make room for personal growth.

The psychology behind fixation

The term "fixation" originates from the Latin term fixus, meaning “firmly held or unwavering.” People tend to cling to ideas and beliefs for security and comfort in an ever-changing world. In a psychological context, fixation refers to an attachment or focus that is difficult to release. Fixation can manifest in numerous forms, often synonymous with unhealthy behaviors and mindsets.

Historically, Sigmund Freud, the founding father of psychoanalysis, introduced the concept of fixation as part of his psychosexual stages theory. According to Freud's developmental theory, fixation happens when libidinal energies (psychosexual energy and drive) get overly invested in a particular stage of psychosexual development, leading to an imbalance that persists into adulthood.

Moreover, fixation may not be limited to psychosexual stages; it can occur when there's an over-attachment to ideas, substances, or objects. In the same way plants can become fixated on nitrogen for optimal growth, humans may become fixated on a particular idea or pursuit to feel in control and secure. The physiology of fixation is believed to stem from an over-activation of the limbic system, which houses the brain's emotion and memory centers. This process becomes a feedback loop that reinforces the idea of attachment, further tightening its grip.

When someone is fixing their mind on a certain topic, adrenaline and cortisol are released as part of the body's fight-or-flight response. These hormones can cause a person to be in a perpetual state of stress and self-doubt, leading to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy behavior patterns. Similarly, when the body releases dopamine or endorphins, it can bring on an obsession with specific activities and cause emotional dependency. 

The parts of the brain governing higher-level thinking and problem-solving can also become affected when the limbic system takes over. One may find oneself stuck in a loop of unproductive behaviors, struggling to move forward or act. To overcome fixation, retraining the brain to recognize and break free from unhealthy patterns can be crucial. Achieving this process may require a conscious effort and understanding of the underlying causes of fixation to identify what causes it, manage anxiety, and ultimately make room for growth.

The effects of fixation on personal growth and relationships

The implications of psychological fixation from an early age can be widespread. When libidinal energies are not adequately balanced, it might lead to stagnation and inhibit personal growth. Here, fixation can hinder intellectual, emotional, and social development.

Furthermore, cognitive rigidity and narrow thinking are typical by-products of fixation. The mind becomes like a horse with blinders, leading to a reduction in creativity and adaptability. Emotionally, this stagnation might lead to low self-esteem, self-doubt, and, in extreme cases, mood disorders. In relationships, fixation can manifest as an unhealthy attachment to a partner or a relentless focus on specific aspects of the relationship. This tunnel vision creates unrealistic expectations and can create dependency, which strains both individuals. The act of fixation can also diminish trust and lead to communication breakdowns, making it difficult for relationships to thrive.

Socially, fixations may result in isolation as they consume mental and emotional energy that could be invested in nurturing diverse relationships. Professional relationships may also struggle, as fixation can impede the ability to work collaboratively. For example, a fixated employee may struggle to take constructive criticism or feedback from a colleague.

Your mental health and personal relationships don’t have to be held captive by fixation. With specific tools, you may explore and release the grip of fixation on your life to continue to grow, thrive, and lead a healthy lifestyle.

Overcoming fixation through self-awareness and reflection

When aiming to overcome fixation, you might start by becoming more aware of it. This process often requires a heightened level of self-awareness to recognize unhealthy patterns of thought or behavior. Below are a few strategies for building self-awareness and reflection skills. 

Exploring childhood challenges 

For psychosexual fixations, this process could involve exploring unresolved issues from childhood or adolescence that may be preventing you from reaching adulthood emotionally. On the other hand, if the fixation is related to a particular activity or object, the focus must be on understanding why this activity or object has become so important.

Asking questions 

Once you are aware of the fixation, reflecting on how it has impacted your life can be crucial. Ask yourself:

• What incites this particular fixation?
• How have I been responding to this fixation?
• How does this fixation affect my relationships with others?
• What are the potential consequences of this fixation?

These questions can be asked without judgment or criticism to cultivate a new understanding of your relationships and behaviors. From here, it can be vital to assess how to proactively address any underlying issues contributing to the fixation and take actionable steps toward finding solutions.

Cognitive restructuring 

Cognitive restructuring, a tool employed in cognitive behavioral therapy, may be helpful in reducing fixation. This process involves challenging cognitive distortions and adopting a growth mindset. The brain is like a muscle; it must be worked to flex and grow. Cognitive restructuring can help you identify irrational thoughts, replace them with healthier ones, and create more productive patterns of thinking that promote personal growth.

Emotional regulation 

Another strategy for reducing fixation is developing more significant emotional regulation. Techniques like mindfulness meditation and journaling can help individuals gain control over their emotions and respond to stressors with a clearer mindset. Exploring creative outlets and cultivating mindful practices can also provide relief from fixation. Creative pursuits and hobbies like art, writing, or music allow for self-expression and can provide an escape from the daily grind.

Communication skills 

Enhancing communication skills through assertiveness training and active listening techniques can also be beneficial. Assertiveness helps individuals express their feelings and opinions without causing harm to others, while actively listening encourages mutual understanding in relationships.

Building resilience 

Setting realistic goals and developing a support system can foster a positive environment conducive to growth and resilience. Creating boundaries for yourself regarding fixation and unhealthy attachments can also be helpful. Setting limits on time spent engaging in infixation and allowing yourself the flexibility to explore other productive habits may provide balance and perspective in your life.

Try to note that personal growth is often not a linear process but a journey with twists and turns. The process may be overwhelming, but with self-compassion and patience, you may take control of your life without getting fixated on any one thing or idea. 

The road ahead: Sustainable change and growth

While progress can be exciting, maintaining momentum in personal growth and nurturing relationships often requires ongoing effort. Continuous learning, reflection, and an empathetic understanding of others can pave the way for sustainable change.

Being prepared for setbacks may be equally important. Recognizing that fixation can reoccur allows one to develop contingency plans and utilize coping mechanisms that have been successful in the past. When overcoming fixation, make your mental health a top priority. Investing in professional help, whether therapy or coaching, can provide you with the guidance to take control of your life.

Support options 

If fixation is negatively affecting your life and you’re struggling to gain control over it, speaking to a therapist could be helpful. However, with an endless list of responsibilities, making it to therapy appointments in person might be challenging. In these instances, online therapy platforms like BetterHelp can be valuable resources for receiving attention and care from home.

Working with a therapist, you can address entrenched behavior patterns and make meaningful progress toward personal growth. A trained professional can facilitate a safe space to explore underlying challenges and provide support to succeed. Online therapy is often more affordable, and sessions can be booked according to your availability; the ease and convenience of this option could make it right for you.

In recent years, evidence has shown that internet-delivered cognitive-behavioral therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating various mental health conditions. In one study, researchers found that a web-based CBT intervention “created equivalent overall effects” in the treatment of anxiety disorders. CBT can be beneficial for those experiencing fixation, where reframing thoughts and behaviors is essential to producing lasting results. Those using CBT can learn how to identify their unhelpful thoughts and make them more productive. This process can help individuals manage the unwanted responses and behaviors that may result from mental health disorders, life stress, and other challenges. 

Takeaway

Fixation can often be a significant roadblock on the path to personal growth. However, countless examples of individuals have surmounted the barriers of fixation to pave paths of personal growth and relationship success. People may rekindle marriages, form healthier friendships, and build new career paths by redirecting their energy toward constructive channels. 

Gaining control over one’s thoughts, behaviors, and mental state can be challenging. In some cases, a professional’s support may be warranted. The convenience and accessibility of online therapy could make it a helpful tool. Consider reaching out to a therapist online or in your area to get started.