Can Time Make A Better Friendship? Exploring Short Vs. Long-Term Friendships

Friendship can be a fundamental aspect of human existence and may be vital to individuals' overall mental health. However, some may assume that people are biased toward longer-lasting friendships. For this reason, some may ask whether a relationship's length truly measures the friendship's quality. To answer this question, objectively comparing short- and long-term friendships and investigating their unique impacts on mental health and overall quality of life may be valuable. 

However, it may be beneficial to avoid assuming that one type of friendship is inherently superior and instead focus on the individual merits of both types when making friends. While short-term and long-term friendships may offer distinct benefits to mental health, such as fresh perspectives or deep emotional connections, they can also present their unique challenges, from potential instability to unresolved conflicts over time. It may be helpful to understand that the value of friendships may not rely on duration alone but also on the quality of support and personal growth they foster.

Understanding the value of short-term friendships

Short-term friendships, often defined by their relatively brief duration, frequent interactions, and intense bonding periods, can hold a unique place in individuals’ lives. The nature of these relationships, although transient, can catalyze personal growth and new experiences. They may spark an excitement associated with meeting a new friend, bringing fresh perspectives that might be absent in longer-term connections. 

These short-term relationships can offer numerous benefits that may positively influence mental health. For instance, the novelty of these friendships can boost self-esteem as individuals find themselves appreciated and valued in a new social context. Additionally, discovering common interests and discussing different viewpoints can alleviate loneliness, offering the comforting reassurance that one is not alone in their experiences or perspectives. Ultimately, short-term friendships may enrich life with diversity and provide an avenue for personal development and emotional wellness.

Potential drawbacks of short-term friendships

Despite the unique benefits of short-term friendships, they may present certain drawbacks. Their potential transience can cast a shadow over the relationship. One may constantly be at the beginning of friendships, with the person often changing, creating a cycle of continuously getting to know new people and rarely keeping long-term friends. 

A potential downside of these friendships lies in the limited shared history, which may hinder strong emotional bonds. Such friends may lack the connection of profound intimacy and understanding that can stem from shared experiences over an extended period, potentially causing isolation or superficiality. These challenges can significantly impact one’s mental health. The continuous cycle of forming and losing friendships may lead to stress and instability, creating a sense of impermanence in social lives. 

Short-term friendships often develop between young people in the company of their peers in a classroom. These friendships may only last as long as they’re in direct contact with each other. 

The strengths of long-term friendships

Long-term friendships are often distinguished by the length of relationships, often spanning several years or decades. These relationships are more than fleeting acquaintances and are often characterized by a shared past, familiar stories, and a more profound understanding of each other. The shared experiences, such as growing up together as kids, often serve as the foundation for deep emotional connections and mutual support. 

These enduring relationships can significantly enhance mental health. The stability and sense of belonging they provide can help foster feelings of stability and contentment. Additionally, the mutual support system within these friendships often serves as a buffer against life’s stresses, reinforcing resilience and emotional well-being. Long-term friendships can play an integral role in nurturing and preserving mental health.

The potential challenges of long-term friendships

Despite the significant benefits of long-term friendships, they may come with unique challenges. Over time, friends may evolve in different directions, potentially leading to them outgrowing each other. What was once a bond rooted in shared interests and values may evolve into a relationship characterized by growing differences and diminished common ground. 

Long-term friendships can sometimes be damaged by conflicts left unresolved over time. Lingering disagreements or misunderstandings can breed resentment, undermining the sense of comfort these relationships typically provide. Furthermore, there may be a risk of falling into patterns of familiarity that might stifle personal growth, with the friendship serving more as a safety net than a catalyst for personal transformation. 

These challenges can have a negative impact on mental health. Stagnation or resentment can foster a sense of dissatisfaction and may increase anxiety levels. Therefore, while long-term friendships can provide emotional support and stability, they can also present challenges that may require attention and careful navigation.

Short-term vs long-term friendships

Short-term friendships often blossom from shared experiences or immediate circumstances, while long-term friendships are cultivated through sustained trust, understanding, and mutual support. While short-term friendships can be intense and fulfilling, long-term friendships often offer a deeper sense of companionship, as though you’ll remain friends forever.

While there is a difference between the two, both types of friendships are valuable and short-term friendships are often in the process of developing into long-term friendships. Some people will seek short-term friendships because they desire to find those that will develop into long-term friendships. 

Family relationships and friendships

Being friends with family members can provide a unique feeling of intimacy and shared history, fostering deep bonds rooted in familial love and understanding. These relationships may offer a sense of stability and belonging, as well as the opportunity to navigate the world’s challenges together with unwavering support and loyalty.

Being friends with family members typically increases the chances that the friendship will evolve into a long-term connection. However, both parties should still expect their boundaries to be respected. 

Friendships, mental health, life satisfaction, and emotional well-being

Friendship can play a significant role in mental health and influence an individual’s well-being and overall life satisfaction. Forbes states, “A study of 280,000 people by Michigan State University finds friendships can be more important than family relationships for people to experience a sense of support, mental well-being, and overall wellness. This [research] is especially true over time because, unlike family, individuals tend to select their friends. Best friends often last—providing a sense of continuity throughout one’s life.” 

Having more friends can provide emotional support, enhance resilience to stress, and offer a sense of belonging and stability. Healthy friendships can boost self-esteem and offer individuals a sense of purpose. They can also mitigate feelings of loneliness, reducing the risk of depression and anxiety. On the other hand, friendships fraught with conflict or lack of support can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. It can be beneficial to note that the quality of your friendships can have as much of an impact as the quantity. 

Support options

Friendships can be challenging, and some individuals may benefit from reaching out to a therapist to navigate these relationships. However, asking for support in person may not work with everyone’s schedule or abilities. In these cases, online therapy through a platform like BetterHelp can offer unique advantages directly related to friendships and their duration. 

The flexibility and reachability online therapy provides can be valuable for individuals navigating the complexities of both short-term and long-term relationships. One notable benefit of online therapy is its ability to bridge possible constraints around travel and time. When you sign up for an online platform, you can choose a session that works for you, including outside of standard business hours if needed. You can also choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions with your therapist.  

While there isn't specific research on how digital therapy can benefit friendships, the field of psychological therapy has grown significantly, with virtual platforms becoming a key medium for mental health services. These platforms have provided invaluable support, especially in response to challenges induced by the global COVID-19 pandemic. Research has shown that online therapy may help address several mental health-related concerns, including anxiety, stress, and depression. This study indicates online therapy's value and potential effectiveness in providing necessary emotional support in times of crisis. The same efficacy could aid individuals in managing the complexities of short-term and long-term friendships by offering tools and guidance to better navigate these relationships.