How To Navigate A Friendship Breakup

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The course of a romantic breakup is familiar to most, since it’s been explored extensively in movies, media, literature, and pop culture. However, this isn’t the only type of breakup a person might experience in their lifetime. Ending a friendship can also be considered a type of breakup, and it also has the potential to pose challenges to one’s emotional and mental well-being. Let’s explore friendship breakups in more detail—specifically, why friendships may end, how such an event might affect mental health, and strategies for moving forward.

What may cause a friendship to end?

Friendships can be valuable additions to a person's life, providing a potential source of emotional support, companionship, inspiration, belongingness, and fun. Research suggests that one’s social connectedness may predict mental health, indicating the importance of having friends and others in your life that you can lean on. However, not all friendships are created equal, and there may come a time in some cases where one or both parties believe it’s time to end it.

Sometimes, the end of a friendship comes as the result of mutual agreement. In others, it tapers off gradually due to life changes or conflicting priorities, like gradually growing apart from a childhood friend. In still others, a conflict could lead to the end of the connection. For instance, one study from 2021 found that, among early adolescents, conflict and betrayal were cited as the most common reasons for the dissolution of a friendship. In other words, it’s not uncommon for a friendship to end suddenly as a result of a fight or a significant disagreement that can’t be overcome.

A friendship might also come to an end because it’s become toxic, or is characterized by unhealthy patterns of behavior. Examples include manipulation, gossiping, a lack of respect for boundaries, or frequent or explosive conflict. In cases like these, one party may find that it’s best for their mental health and well-being if they step away from the relationship.

How a lost friendship can affect your mental health

During and after a friendship breakup, it’s not uncommon to experience challenging emotions such as anxiety, stress, depression, or loneliness—particularly if the person in question was a close friend. Even if the end of the relationship was unavoidable or for the best, it can be difficult to close a chapter of your life in this way. Some find it to be similar to a romantic breakup in terms of intensity, depending on the situation. 

In some cases, a person may even experience grief in the wake of a friendship breakup. Although grief is commonly associated with loss as a result of death, grieving is also a natural response to other forms of serious loss—such as that of a close friendship. Signs of grief can vary from person to person and may also be influenced by culture and the circumstances of the loss. That said, symptoms of grief generally tend to include elements like:

• Numbness or shock 
• Exhaustion
• Anger, frustration, or irritability
• Guilt
• Sadness and frequent crying
• Trouble sleeping
• Stomach upset

It’s also possible for a person to develop a diagnosable mental health condition after going through the stressful end of a relationship, such as anxiety or depression. If you’re experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition, it’s recommended that you meet with a mental health professional for support.

Advice for navigating friendship breakups

If you’ve recently parted ways with a friend, tending to your mental health and well-being will likely be important as you begin the healing process. Some strategies that may help you move through this difficult transition include but are not limited to the following.

Allow yourself time to mourn

Mourning a relationship can be done on your own time and in your own way. Treating yourself with compassion, letting yourself move through your emotions at the pace you need, and carving out space for reflection can all be helpful in this process. Remember, too, that research suggests that avoiding the grieving process is likely to prolong it, so it can be helpful to let yourself feel what you feel as it comes up.

Practice self-care

Going through an emotionally difficult event like a friend breakup can cause feelings and effects of stress, which can negatively affect your health over time if left unaddressed. That’s one reason it can be important to maintain your self-care practices during this period. Examples of ways in which you might support your own self-care after a friend breakup can include things like:

• Exercising, even if it’s just talking walks
• Eating healthy foods
• Getting enough sleep
• Trying not to self-isolate
• Expressing your emotions (journaling, therapy, confiding in a loved one)

Express your feelings

You’re likely to feel many emotions in the aftermath of a friend breakup, and these feelings usually need somewhere to go. Finding a healthy way to express them that works for you can be helpful. Journaling is one popular tactic, with research from 2018 suggesting that it may help in “mitigating mental distress and increasing well-being.” Or, you might find that creating art of some kind or talking about it to a loved one is a better outlet for you personally. 

Seek out social support

While it can be tempting to self-isolate in the aftermath of a friendship that ends, it’s unlikely to be helpful for your mental health. Spending some time alone to reflect can be useful, but cutting yourself off from your social life could do more harm than good. Reaching out to family members and other friends to get support or distract yourself and have fun may be a good idea, as may getting out and about to meet new people. After all, recent research suggests that strong social connections are associated with increased stress resilience, so reaching out could help you get through this difficult period.

Take space from your friend

While it may be tempting to continue to check in on your former friend on social media or ask mutual friends about them, this may make it more challenging to move forward. Instead, it might be best to distance yourself emotionally from them while you process the end of the relationship and work toward healing.

Consider therapy

The loss of a friend may result in feelings of grief, confusion, stress, frustration, and more, and you may find yourself in need of extra support in navigating the process. Therapy may be a valuable resource for expressing your feelings, identifying possible strategies for supporting your mental health, and working to find a path forward from the breakup. If you're experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition as a result of the situation, a therapist can also help you address these.

That said, mourning the end of a friendship may make it difficult to attend in-person therapy sessions—particularly if you’re experiencing physical symptoms of grief or depression like fatigue and exhaustion. This is an example of a time when BetterHelp may represent a more convenient alternative, since it allows you to connect with a licensed therapist virtually from the comfort of home. Research indicates that online therapy may be an effective treatment for a range of mental health concerns, with numerous studies suggesting that it can be as effective as in-person therapy in many cases.

Takeaway

Friend breakups may occur for a variety of reasons, ranging from mutual agreement to changing life circumstances to an unresolvable conflict. This experience may be challenging in terms of emotional and mental health effects. Strategies such as engaging in self-care, expressing your feelings, reaching out for social support, and seeking therapy may be helpful in managing difficult emotions in the aftermath of a friend breakup.