What To Do If Pessimism Is Negatively Impacting Your Life
Imagine a glass containing water only to the halfway point. Do you instinctively view that glass as one half empty, or one half full? This is a common analogy or phrase used to identify whether someone is an optimist, with more positive thoughts about the future, or a pessimist, with more negative thoughts about the future. According to the analogy, pessimists are those who see the glass as half empty, while optimists see the half full glass, even though there is the same amount of liquid in both cases.
Although many people tend to see pessimism as a wholly negative personality trait, it can actually provide some benefits. However, having a consistently, overwhelmingly negative outlook on life may have consequences. Let’s look at pessimism from a different perspective and a few different angles, and then examine some of the tools you can use if you want to change your outlook on the matter to one that’s a bit brighter.
Do you have pessimistic tendencies?
To test whether you might be a pessimist or an optimist, try this interesting thought experiment. Imagine how your life is going to be in ten years. Do you think you'll be doing work you enjoy, in a healthy intimate relationship, and satisfied with how things are going for you in general? Or do you think that life will continue to be a mundane series of routines from which you can seemingly never escape, with no goodness or rewards? If you gravitate toward the latter, you might have some pessimistic thought patterns and you may believe that the glass is half empty. Pessimists tend to expect and descripe more negative scenarios. They may also:
- Be surprised when things do work out or go well
- Be more in touch with their flaws than their good qualities
- Find people with an optimistic viewpoint irritating
- Rarely take risks, since they expect them to never work out
As with many other things, a person’s outlook on life can exist at many different points along a broad spectrum based on their particular situation in life. That’s why it may be more helpful to think of optimism and pessimism as tendencies instead of fixed traits. Their manifestation can vary in a short time frame, week-to-week or day-to-day, depending on the situation and the time in the person’s life. Plus, it’s generally possible for people to adjust these tendencies at least somewhat with intentional effort. That said, it can be helpful to get familiar with pessimism and what it looks like so you can recognize when it may be affecting your mindset or even impacting your mental health or your life.
Pros and cons of pessimism
There can be both benefits of and drawbacks to a pessimistic outlook.
Potential positives of pessimism
While it can be unhealthy to go through life constantly feeling negative about every situation, expecting that things will go wrong sometimes can be helpful. If you’re unrealistically optimistic and believe that nothing bad will ever happen and life will only be filled with good, it can be more difficult to cope during the times when something bad or undesirable does happen.
In addition, there are the benefits of a mindset known as defensive pessimism. It describes those who use pessimism in a helpful way to plan for the future, and it can be an especially useful tool for those who experience anxiety. It can help give them a sense of control by imagining and then taking measures to be prepared for potential negative outcomes of a situation. There’s a fine line between this strategy and allowing anxiety to run wild and predict all manner of dangers or problems. A good question to ask is, “What can I control’? In its most useful form, defensive pessimism means being realistic about the fact that things don’t always go perfectly and controlling for some of those possibilities ahead of time.
Potential downsides of pessimism
Pessimism isn’t always an entirely bad thing. However, if it begins to interfere with a person’s relationships, sleep patterns, or ability to function, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. It could be a sign of past trauma, low self-esteem, or a mental health condition like depression, for instance. In cases like these, you may want to try and find what the root cause of your pessimistic thoughts might be—perhaps with the help of a therapist.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Research about the potential physical health consequences of pessimism is somewhat unclear. While a 2016 study found a possible link between pessimism and fatal heart disease, researchers emphasized that it’s an association rather than causation. The study’s results could simply determine that more optimistic people may tend to take better care of themselves because they expect good things in life and enjoy them when they come. Other research has found that more pessimistic people may be more stressed and have less effective coping skills.
Finally, it is worth noting that excessive or overwhelming pessimism may also negatively impact one’s relationships. A friend, partner, family, or colleague may feel inclined to pull away and seek space from someone who is consistently negative and spends a lot of time complaining or viewing situations darkly. It can be difficult to be around someone who exclusively sees the world this way. Since research shows that having strong social support is linked to positive health outcomes, a level of pessimism that drives connections away can be detrimental in more ways than one.
Tips for adopting a less pessimistic outlook
If you feel that a pessimistic point of view might be negatively impacting some areas of your life and you are having a hard time finding the silver lining in life, it may be worth working to shift toward a more positive mindset. Remember, however, that it’s generally not healthy to constantly live on either extreme of the pessimism/optimism spectrum. Toxic positivity—or relentless optimism to the point of ignoring, suppressing, or dismissing all negative emotions—isn’t a healthy goal, either. In general, it’s best for a person’s outlook to fall somewhere in between the two: a balance of realistic and hopeful. If pessimism is causing issues in your life, the following tips may help you start working toward the more optimistic end of the spectrum.
Pay attention to who you surround yourself with
You’ve probably heard people apply the law of averages to friend groups before, saying that a person is the average of the five people they spend the most time with. If you’re surrounding yourself with people who take a more pessimistic view of life, it’s not unlikely that you’ll absorb or maintain these views yourself, too. If you want to adopt a more positive outlook, it might help to fill your time with people who tend toward an optimistic mindset. The way they look at the world may spread to you or inspire you to see things differently and look for the bright side.
Consider the hopeful viewpoint
Some pessimists take issue with optimists due to a misunderstanding about what optimism actually is. A healthy optimistic outlook doesn’t mean having a blind, unrealistic belief that nothing will ever go wrong. Life can be difficult and tough things happen, of course. Instead, a healthy optimist is hopeful that things will go well or turn out well in the end. This is the quality that can make a major difference. In fact, one study found that hope among students predicted academic achievement even more than intelligence, personality, or previous academic achievement did. A dose of hope can be powerful and help you discover that the glass is half full.
How we use language is an important lens into how we few the world. Using hopeful, growth-minded words or phrases can help you to stay positive. For some people, having a word that they focus on, like “positive” or “happy” may be a helpful reminder to look for the good things in life rather than focusing on the bad.
Learn to recognize cognitive distortions
Cognitive distortions are logical flaws in someone’s thinking process that can warp their perception of reality. They’re fairly common, but they can be powerful and insidious. Learning about and then becoming aware of them when they arise can help you avoid letting your thoughts slip into the negativity that’s out of proportion to the actual feeling or event in question. Some examples of cognitive distortions to watch out for include:
- Polarized Thinking, is when you think in terms of extremes and ignore the possibilities in between. An example of this distortion would be believing that you’re a failure who will never have a successful career because you didn’t get a job you interviewed for.
- Mental Filtering is when you tend to focus far more on the negative side of things and mostly or completely dismiss the positive. An example would be having technical difficulties at the start of a work presentation but then doing well and getting positive feedback, and then viewing the entire experience as negative or a failure because of how it started.
- Catastrophizing is when you tend to assume the worst. An example is when you assume your partner has been in a terrible accident when they’re late getting home from work, without truly considering the possibility that there was traffic or that they stopped at the store.
Cultivating a mindfulness practice is one way to become more aware of your thoughts so you can start noticing cognitive distortions as they arise. These thoughts are often so automatic that it can be hard to catch and then shift them without being intentional about mental awareness.
In addition, a therapist can help you learn to identify and alter cognitive distortions you may be prone to. These patterns of thinking can contribute to symptoms of depression, too, which a therapist can help you manage. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a typical treatment for cognitive distortions, whether they’re linked to depression or not. It’s one of the most widely practiced therapy methods out there today—considered “the gold standard” of psychotherapy—because of its effectiveness.
Seeking therapy to help shift your outlook
If you’re interested in getting help identifying the underlying causes of pessimistic thoughts, correcting cognitive distortions, or working through other challenges, therapy may be a helpful resource. Online therapy in particular has become an increasingly popular option for people who prefer to receive treatment from the comfort of their own home. With a virtual therapy platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a therapist whom you can meet with via phone call, video call, and/or online chat. Research suggests that online therapy offers similar benefits to in-person sessions, so it’s one option for receiving treatment.
Takeaway
As with many elements of the human experience, some amount of pessimism isn’t inherently bad or good. If you find, however, that it seems to be having a negative impact on your life, taking some of the steps listed here to progress toward optimism may be helpful. A licensed online counselor can serve as a valuable guide in your journey to cultivating a more optimistic outlook.
What is a glass-half-empty kind of person?
In the analogy, a glass half empty type of person sees the glass as, well, half-empty. This kind of person is typically described as a pessimist, the opposite of an optimist, who sees a glass with equal water or milk as half-full.
What is a glass-half-full attitude?
One way to describe an optimist is a glass-half-full attitude. Glass half full thinkers generally look on the bright side and expect a favorable outcome. It’s worth noting that relentless optimism isn’t realistic either. Generally, it can be best to adopt a balance of realistic hope, not ignore the negative aspects.
How do you not be a glass-half-empty person?
There are a few things you can do to try to be a more optimistic person. First, pay attention to the people around you. If you surround yourself with friends and people who are more pessimistic, they may affect your outlook on life. Try to spend your time with people who are more hopeful and who can inspire you to see things a little differently.
It can also help to revisit what optimism is. Some people think that being positive means being blind to reality and don’t think that anything will ever go wrong, but this is not exactly true. Having a more positive outlook can mean that you believe things will turn out okay in the end, despite what goes wrong.
Pessimism can also result from cognitive distortions, flaws in someone’s thinking that can affect their perception of reality. They can include polarized thinking, mental filtering, and catastrophizing. Becoming aware of these ways of thinking can help you avoid letting your mind slip into negativity.
Working with a therapist can also help you identify cognitive distortions and help you change your patterns of thinking. This can help you shift your outlook if you want to be a glass-half-empty person.
Can a half-empty person become a half-full person?
Yes. Most people can have tendencies of both optimism and pessimism, and it is possible to shift how you think. Some people may use the strategies listed above to think more like a half-full person, but if you need more help, a therapist can help.
How can you tell if someone is a realist?
A realist can look at life and see things as they are so they can rationally deal with them. Realists generally see what is real or possible in a situation and accept and deal with things as they are. They may try to accept other people as they are. Realists can plan wisely and are often grounded, non-judgemental, and clear-headed.
How do you know if you are an idealist or a realist?
A realist sees the world as it is, while an idealist envisions an ideal world rather than the real one. If you’re trying to figure out who you are, you can consider how you look at the world. Realists may focus on facts, figures, and evidence, while idealists are generally more concerned with emotions. Realists may be more likely to plan and keep a schedule, while idealists might be more spontaneous. Another difference is that realists may not get very excited about future plans, while idealists may get lost in daydreams about what can be.
Is being a realist the same thing as being a pessimist?
No. Glass half empty thinkers tend to see the negative things, while realists see things as they really are. Realists may not be as affected by the negatives or positives in the world, while pessimists can tend to focus on things in a negative light.
Can pessimists be happy?
The answer is yes; a pessimistic person can experience happiness and enjoy life.
Is it bad to be pessimistic?
Not necessarily. There is even a type known as defensive pessimism for people who use pessimism in a helpful way. Defensive pessimism can help people feel like they have a sense of control and better prepare for negative outcomes. This type of pessimism can be a way for people to manage their anxiety by setting low expectations for a specific situation, like a job interview, and imagining everything that can go wrong to make this worst-case scenario a reality. The person then uses this as a plan to ensure the imagined worst-case scenario doesn’t happen. This doesn’t make the person more laid back or positive, but it does help them cope better with a given situation.
How can I be less pessimistic?
If you want to be a less negative person, try to surround yourself with positive people. Sometimes, being with people who see the world positively can affect how you see it, too. Identifying any cognitive distortions can also help you change your thinking patterns. If you need help identifying the underlying causes of your negative thoughts, talking to a therapist can help.
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