What Is The Difference Between Envy And Jealousy?

If you go up to five different people and ask them what it means to be jealous, chances are that everyone will give you a different answer. Ask them next what it meant to be envious, and those five people might look at you puzzled, wondering, "Well, what is the meaning of envy if it's not the same as jealousy?" If you are having trouble figuring out exactly what the difference is between being envious and being jealous, you are not alone.

Although the words envy and jealousy may often be used interchangeably, they have distinct definitions. Envy generally refers to wanting something that someone else has, while jealousy usually involves someone that may threaten something you already have. Both envy and jealousy can be healthy, normal emotions, but when they reach a point of being pathological, they may be considered delusional disorders. If you’re having a hard time managing feelings of envy or jealousy, you may wish to consider online therapy, as it can provide a safe space to talk through and cope with these emotions.

Are Envy And Jealousy Healthy And Normal?

Everyone has likely experienced feeling envious or jealous of others at some point in their lives. A certain degree of these emotions can be healthy and productive. Still, it can be essential to know the difference between these two feelings because, while they can be helpful, they can be equally as destructive in excess.

What Is Envy?

Envy occurs when we desire something someone else has. This might be a desire for a promotion that a coworker just received or a longing for the type of marriage your friend has with their spouse. You might also envy your sibling's good looks or your best friend's academic ability; you might envy anything you don't currently have that you want.

When it comes to envy, the only two people involved are generally you and the person who has what you desire. Envy can be an internal reaction when we see that we lack something desirable that someone else has.

What Is Jealousy?

Jealousy occurs when something you already have is threatened by someone else. This may be most commonly applied to relationships. The emotion you feel when your significant other dances with someone else at a bar is often jealousy. If your ex-spouse marries someone else and that person grows close to your children, that can be another instance in which you may feel jealousy.

Jealousy can differ from envy in that jealousy typically involves three parties: you, what you have (typically a significant other), and an outside force that poses a threat to what you have. Jealousy generally involves an external presence that influences your emotions.

Potential Problems With These Terms

The semantic ambiguity of the word jealousy may be the reason many people do not understand the difference between jealousy and envy. Many times, when someone is describing a time when they felt jealous, they're actually talking about an instance when they felt envious.

Envy may be a little less ambiguous and is often used in the correct context. However, the term jealousy can make understanding the difference between the two words rather difficult. Both feelings can feel quite similar biologically, which can also make it challenging to distinguish between jealousy and envy.

Jealousy and envy can also be experienced simultaneously. When someone attractive is dancing with your partner, you might feel as though they pose a threat to your relationship because you perceive them as having better traits than yourself. This would be an example of jealousy. You may find yourself desiring those traits as well, which would be an example of envy.

Another way of explaining the differences and problems with using jealousy and envy together can be shown in this situation. Envy could be when a person wants to sleep with someone else's spouse; they may want what someone else has. Jealousy could be when that same person does not want their spouse sleeping with anyone else. They may want to keep what belongs to them and might be jealous of anyone that poses a threat to their marriage.

Jealousy And Envy Can Affect Your Health

Feelings of jealousy and envy can be very reasonable in certain situations, particularly when they are based on facts and can be resolved through communication. However, some people experience pathological jealousy, which can be harmful.

Pathological jealousy can occur in people who experience emotional imbalances or other mental health issues. Pathological jealousy can lead to feelings of extreme possessiveness, anger, and obsessiveness. People with pathological jealousy are often egotistical and can be mean, aggressive, and violent.

An example of someone who is experiencing pathological jealousy could be a person who believes their partner is cheating and goes to great lengths to try to uncover evidence. Stalking is often a result of pathological jealousy.

Extreme envy can also be harmful because it can lead to feelings of mistrust, resentment, and anger. Overly envious people often treat others that they believe to be better than them with contempt, and they may try to ruin the reputations of those people to get ahead. Those who live with extreme envy are often negative, critical, and pessimistic. They can be sarcastic and act indifferent to those around them.

These feelings associated with jealousy and envy can often be detrimental to a person's emotional health. They can also negatively impact the physical and emotional health of the people who are the object of jealousy or envy.

Treating Pathological Envy And Jealousy

Pathological envy and jealousy are generally considered delusional disorders because the person experiencing them is often delusional about the object of their jealousy or envy. People who live with delusional disorders can be a danger to themselves or others and may need to be treated by mental health professionals.

Delusional disorders can be challenging to treat because they can appear in many forms. In most cases, a combination of medication and therapy is used to treat these disorders.

People who are living with delusional disorders do not generally experience beliefs that are fanciful or outlandish. Often, their delusions are plausible. When someone with pathological jealousy has delusions that their spouse is cheating with someone, even though they have no evidence, this claim does not often sound completely outlandish. In contrast, if a person had said they believed their spouse was cheating with a ghost in the house next door, that might seem a little absurd. What can be important to realize is that both claims are delusional, even though one may be more believable than the other.

Because some delusions are believable, the signs of pathological jealousy or envy may not be immediately apparent. Many times, it is not until the jealous person begins to act out in ways that make people uncomfortable that others may step in to try to get the person treatment. People who are delusional typically function normally in social events or public spaces, and it’s not likely anyone would assume that they have a mental illness. This can be quite different from other types of psychosis in which the person’s behavior can stand out as being abnormal.

If symptoms of a delusional disorder are present during a doctor's examination, a detailed medical history may need to be provided by the patient, who will most likely be interviewed as well. The doctor may order blood tests to rule out any biological abnormalities and may also order imaging tests such as X-rays or CT scans to observe brain structure and functioning.

Diagnosing delusional disorders usually cannot be done in one visit because doctors must ensure no bizarre delusions happen during a set timeframe. Bizarre delusions can be indicative of psychotic disorders like schizophrenia rather than pathological jealousy or envy.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing delusions or intense feelings of jealousy or envy, you can reach out for advice and begin talking to someone today.

Online Therapy May Help You Work Through Jealousy And Envy

Extreme envy or jealousy may require medical attention, but if you experience these emotions on a lesser level, therapy may be effective in managing them and preventing them from affecting your relationships with others. If traditional face-to-face therapy isn’t as convenient as you’d prefer, you may wish to consider online therapy, which often has more flexible scheduling options and can be done from anywhere with an internet connection.

Jealousy and envy often have a component of stress or anxiety. This study showed that online therapy could be particularly effective when used to treat symptoms of these issues.

Conclusion

Jealousy and envy are two separate concepts, although they can often be used as if they have the same meaning. Envy usually means that you desire something that someone else has. Meanwhile, jealousy typically means that someone is threatening something that you already have. Most people experience both envy and jealousy occasionally, but these emotions can become unhealthy if they are pathological. Envy and jealousy may be considered delusional disorders when they reach this point. Online therapy may be beneficial for you if you’ve found that it’s challenging to manage your feelings of jealousy or envy.

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