Losing Your Mom: Strategies For Managing Grief And Moving Forward

Losing a mom may be one of the most challenging experiences a person can go through. After a mother’s death, the grieving process can vary based on individual personality factors, and everyone grieves differently. For some, a mother may play a larger role in their life than just a parent. They may have been a confidant, emotional anchor, or part of a larger support network. 

For a person who is finding it challenging to move forward after their mom died, it may be helpful to implement mindfulness strategies and connect with a mental health professional, such as a grief counselor. Grieving after a parent dies tends to be an ongoing journey filled with ups and downs. In this article, we will examine the changes and impacts that can arise after one’s mother has passed and explore strategies for managing symptoms of grief. 

What are the impacts of losing your mother?

Whether a person’s mother passed recently or years ago, there may be impacts that can affect daily life. For a person whose mother died recently, there may be feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, regret, loneliness, or even numbness. Over time, certain situations can lead a person to remember their mom or experiences they had together, which can lead them to feel incredibly sad or cause challenging emotions to resurface.

It does not matter if a person's mom or dad died; the impacts of losing a parent tend to be similar. Losing a parent can impact a person’s daily life in unexpected ways that often go beyond sadness or grief. Daily routines, sleep patterns, and physical health may be negatively impacted by the loss of a loved one. Celebrating milestones and carrying on traditions that your mom loved can be difficult and may carry extra weight without her being there.

Understanding grief and the grieving process

I have lost my mom—What’s next? Understanding the grieving process

Grieving the loss of a person’s mom is not something that follows a tidy timeline or set of rules. It can be a deeply personal, often unpredictable experience that unfolds in its own time. During the grieving process, a person may sense that they are making progress in moving forward with their own life one day and become overwhelmed by sadness the next. Common stages of grief can include the following: 

• Denial: A sense of numbness, shock, or disbelief
• Anger: Resentment over the loss, which may be directed at others, yourself, or even your mom
• Bargaining: Wishing things had been different, replaying “what-ifs”
• Depression: A deep sadness that can seem all-encompassing
• Acceptance: Learning to live with the loss

Can grief be healthy after losing your mother? 

Grief is usually a reflection of a deep connection. While grief can be painful, it can also be natural and healthy. Grieving can allow the mind and body to process the reality of loss, and it may help a person adapt to a life without their mother. In some cases, grief may also serve as a catalyst for improving other supportive bonds with family members and friends.  

Strategies for managing grief after the death of your mother

Although grief can be healthy and natural after the loss of one’s mother, it can be important to manage symptoms of grief and continue to move forward. Effective strategies for managing grief may vary from person to person, and it can be helpful to implement different techniques to find one that is effective. Connecting with loved ones, taking care of personal health, and creating space for new memories can be beneficial.

Connect with loved ones

Connecting with friends and family members can be an effective way to manage grief. These individuals can help a person recall fond memories and prevent isolation. A person’s support network can provide emotional support and comfort, which may improve mental health.  

Take care of your body 

During stressful times, it may be beneficial for a person to engage in self-care. This can involve getting daily exercise, which can reduce stress and anxiety while improving mood. Additionally, eating nutritious foods and getting enough sleep can set the foundation for managing grief and the mental health conditions that can be associated with it, including depression.

Create space for memories after your mother’s death

After losing a mother, father, or close loved one, it can be helpful to spend time reflecting on your relationship and memories together. For some, creating a journal, photo album, or video compilation can be a great way to hold space for important memories. Individuals may also start a tradition to remember a lost loved one, such as lighting a candle on their birthday or having a special celebration meal in their memory each year.  

I have lost my mom—Now what? Techniques for moving forward

Moving forward after losing your mother can seem challenging or even impossible. In many cases, a person’s mother is an integral part of their life, and they may be unsure of how to move into the next chapter after losing their mother. Finding ways to honor your mother’s memory and seeking professional mental health support may help you move forward.

Honoring your mother’s memory

Initially, a person may honor their mother’s memory through a funeral or celebration of life ceremony. As time passes, it may be helpful to find other ways to honor her memory. This could include undertaking a volunteer effort in her name, donating to a charity she supported, or planting a tree or garden in remembrance of her. 

A person may also continue the traditions that their mother celebrated. Whether it’s a holiday recipe, a family tradition, or the way she decorated for special occasions, these small acts of remembrance can help you sense her presence during meaningful moments. These acts may also bring the family together, which can be another way to honor a mother’s memory. 

Finding support for mental health

Individuals may also seek mental health support after losing their mother. A mental health professional, such as a therapist or grief counselor, can help a person implement strategies and talk through their emotions after a great loss. These professionals may suggest mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, journaling, and meditation, which can improve mental health over time.

Long-term coping strategies for grief

There’s no set timeline for grief. Long after the initial loss, a person may still experience waves of sadness, longing, or even joy as they remember their mom. Adopting long-term coping strategies can help a person continue healing and maintain their own well-being. 

The following strategies may help a person cope with grief in the long term:

• Accepting that grief evolves: Grief may change over time. Accepting this without resisting change can help a person stay connected with the healing process. 
• Maintaining a support network: Continuing to talk about your mom with trusted friends or family members can help you process emotions when grief resurfaces. 
• Finding purpose and meaning: Some people find comfort in transforming their grief into purpose. This might involve volunteering, supporting others who are grieving, or starting projects in their mother’s honor.
• Embracing new joy without guilt: It is healthy to embrace new joy and find happiness in life, even after losing your mother. These happy moments do not erase old memories and can improve mental health and well-being. 

Mindfulness practices after losing a loved one

It may be helpful for individuals to practice mindfulness activities after losing a loved one. Deep breathing techniques and grounding practices can be helpful for reducing stress, sadness, and anxiety in the moment. These strategies can slow the body down physically and mentally, which can help a person remain calm and change their perspective. 

Some mindfulness practices can help in a more long-term capacity, particularly meditation and journaling, which can help a person understand and track their emotions over time. Mindfulness practices can improve mental health and provide a person with new ways of thinking about loss.

Connecting with a mental health professional

Connecting with a mental health professional can be a way to move forward after losing a loved one. A therapist can consider a person’s mental health needs to develop various therapeutic strategies that can help them move forward. A few common techniques include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), lifestyle changes, and mindfulness techniques. 

However, attending in-person therapy sessions may present challenges and can be uncomfortable for some people. Online therapy sessions can take place from any location with a personal device and an internet connection. For people struggling with grief, this convenient and accessible option can help them get the professional support they deserve.

Research suggests that online therapy can be an effective way to improve mental health and well-being while grieving. In an online environment, a therapist can implement a variety of therapeutic techniques tailored to a person’s unique situation.