How You Change When Happiness Comes From Within

Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti
Updated February 19, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Several definitions of "happiness" circulate in society, some from ancient philosophers and others from modern thinkers. Although what each person determines as "happiness" can be subjective, some believe happiness is a state of being. For some, the happiness you find within yourself may offer the most significant meaning and bring about the most change. To understand this theory, looking at how you might change when you find happiness in yourself can be helpful. 

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Wondering how to find happiness within yourself?

What does it mean to find happiness within?

Some people may worry that focusing within means they're self-centered. However, when happiness comes from within, it may be easier to understand the difference between being selfish and practicing self-love. Experiencing happiness from within can help you value taking care of your body and mind. You may also be able to recognize how the more you love yourself and follow your truth, the happier you may feel. 

Whether you enjoy taking a stroll in nature, spending a few minutes reading your favorite book, or occasional pampering at the spa, caring for yourself is often a key to finding happiness within. Self-care can be crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. In 2015, millennials reported making more self-care improvements than any previous generation. You may discover that spending quality time with yourself, showing compassion, and being open to growth are a few ways to improve your happiness. 

What changes when you find happiness from within? 

When your happiness comes from within, you may notice a few changes, including but not limited to the following. 

Improved self-confidence 

A boost in confidence can benefit inner happiness because you may have more certainty over what you control. You may gain a more realistic understanding of your place in the world and begin to realize your perspective role in the occurrence of events. You may understand that you can strive for success and that success exists. If you fail, you may know that it's not a reflection of what you are capable of but a matter outside of your control at that moment. 

Recognition of self-worth 

With more confidence may come a higher recognition of your self-worth. Self-worth can mean you love yourself, show up for yourself, and identify your values. You may see the relationship between happiness and how you view yourself. Like food, water, shelter, and clothing, self-worth can be essential to living a healthy life. 

When you experience inner happiness, you may notice that your self-worth no longer depends on what others say, think, or feel about you. Their opinions fall to the wayside as you build yourself up from the inside out. For instance, if your boss criticizes you at work, you no longer resort to thinking that you're incapable but may consider that they were having a bad day or their own challenges to cope with. 

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Control over challenges 

Inner happiness may grant you more control over the challenges you face and how you choose to cope with them. For example, if you want to improve your health, you may do so because you want to, not because someone else asked you to. In addition, if you want to reach the next stage of your career, you may take the next steps because you're ready and confident, not because you're worried about what others will think if you don't.

Various challenges in your life may be out of your control. However, when you create your happiness, the most urgent problems are those you believe in solving. Inner happiness may help you see the difference between the challenges that can improve you and those that won't, giving you a sense of control over what deserves your time and attention.

A growth mindset 

Another positive side-effect of inner happiness may include noticing the changes you want to make in the world and your personal life. You may develop a greater desire to act and make changes. You may also notice what no longer serves you and take steps to remove it from your life. You can choose to avoid what doesn't seem in alignment with who you are and instead work toward ambition for what brings you happiness and peace. 

Independence 

When your happiness comes from within, you may depend less on outside influences to find happiness. There is no obligation to make many friends, find the perfect partner, or even have the perfect job. No matter how much money you acquire and spend, you might realize that finding true inner happiness in an object seems impossible. Knowing that you don't need to depend on anyone or anything else to make you happy can help you experience true freedom.

Becoming more positive

Happiness may allow you to increase your positivity because happiness is often linked to a more optimistic mindset. You may develop this perspective when you understand what you are capable of, your importance in the world, and how much you are grateful for in your life. When your happiness comes from within, you may see unexpected blessings and build a sense of gratitude for them. You might learn to appreciate the role of every person and living being around you, even if they don't necessarily bring you joy.  

Some people who find happiness within may train their minds to recognize the positive, kind, and beautiful parts of the world, whether that means noticing more people holding the door open for one another or taking a few extra moments to read positive stories in the news. You might speak more kindly, become more charitable to others, and go out of your way to express your happiness with them. An optimistic outlook has also been linked to physical and mental health benefits

Self-acceptance 

When you love yourself and find happiness within, you may also accept yourself for who you are. You can learn to enjoy your strengths, admit your weaknesses, appreciate your flaws, and embrace your habits. Self-acceptance may eliminate the urgency to change yourself for others. Being happy can mean being able to change when you know it's good for you instead of changing because you think you're flawed. Self-acceptance is often the foundation of self-love, where your inner happiness can thrive.

Ways to find inner happiness 

Finding inner happiness may be easier said than done. Below are a few steps to beginning the process. 

Practice radical acceptance 

Letting go of the past or worries about the future can be one of the first steps to improving your inner happiness. One way to accept situations you cannot change or should not change is by working through a skill called radical acceptance from the dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) workbook. It involves the following steps: 

  1. Observe how you might be questioning or fighting your reality.

  2. Remind yourself that your reality cannot be changed in this situation.

  3. Try to note any causes for the reality. 

  4. Practice acceptance with your mind, body, and spirit. Use positive self-talk to tell yourself you are willing to accept this situation, even if it is difficult.

  5. List all the behaviors you'd partake in if you already accepted this situation. Act this way until you find it aligns with your reality.

  6. Cope ahead by thinking of ways to accept the situation if it worsens.

  7. Attend to your body sensations using mindfulness or meditation. 

  8. Allow disappointment, sadness, grief, or anger to arise if they do. Note them and do not act on them. Give them the space to exist.

  9. Acknowledge that life can be worth living, even when there is pain.

  10. Create a pros and cons list if you are resisting acceptance further.

Focus on what makes you stand out 

If you focus on your flaws, you may miss the positive features that make you who you are. Focusing on these features can help you to reignite your happiness and recognize the positive over the negative. Consider whether you have the following positive traits or come up with a list of your own: 

  • Kindness

  • Gentleness

  • Creativity

  • Intelligence 

  • Uniqueness 

  • Empathy

  • Compassion

  • Openness

  • Adventurousness 

  • Balance

  • Humor 

  • Friendliness 

  • Humility 

  • Humbleness 

  • Confidence

Explore new hobbies 

If you're in a stump, it might help you to get out and explore new hobbies. To get to know yourself, you can use these hobbies to discover a passion you may not have known you had for a new activity that stimulates your mind and makes you happy from within. In addition, you may meet new positive friends to spend time with. 

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Wondering how to find happiness within yourself?

Talk to a counselor 

Therapy can be a valuable tool if you struggle to find inner happiness. However, in-person treatment may not be available for everyone. In these cases, it may be helpful to speak to a licensed therapist online through a platform like BetterHelp.

Online counseling allows clients to work with professionals from home or anywhere with an internet connection. In addition, you can set your goals for therapy before getting matched with a therapist to find someone who specializes in your symptoms or challenges and can support you in moving forward healthily. 

A growing body of research suggests that online therapy is a helpful way to treat challenging emotions, such as unhappiness, that may be related to depression or other mental health conditions. For example, in a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, the effectiveness of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in treating individuals with depression was evaluated. After treatment, participants reported that their overall condition, along with their sleep quality, was significantly improved. Researchers concluded that online CBT could be highly effective in treating symptoms of depression, with results similar to in-person therapeutic studies. 

Takeaway

When your happiness comes from within, you may be less prone to search for it in outside sources. An unshakeable sense of contentment can improve your quality of life, change your perspective on challenges that come your way, and help you make your well-being your top priority. If you're struggling to achieve happiness, consider contacting a licensed professional online or in your area to get started on your journey to inner contentment.
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