How You Change When Happiness Comes From Within

Updated February 28, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Not all happiness is created equal. There is happiness that comes from the things that happen to us and the type of happiness that we create all on our own. It is the happiness that we create for ourselves that can give us greater meaning and bring about the most change in our lives. Where exactly does this happiness come from and how does it change you? Let's take a deeper look.

Wondering How To Find Happiness Within Yourself?

Happiness Comes From Prioritizing Yourself

It can be easy to assume that when you put yourself first, you become self-centered. However, when your happiness comes from within, it's often easier to understand the difference between being selfish and practicing self-love. Experiencing happiness from within can help you see how important it is to take care of your body and mind. You may also be able to recognize how the more you love yourself and follow your truth, the happier you become. Prioritizing yourself can be a significant step in achieving happiness from within. 

Whether it's taking a long stroll in nature, spending a few minutes reading your favorite book, or even an occasional pampering at the spa, if it makes you happy, you can make a note of it as a priority. Self-care can be important in maintaining healthy relationships with yourself. In fact, as recently as 2015, millennials reported making more self-care improvements than any previous generation. You may discover that spending some time with yourself is one of the easiest ways to meet your needs and identify your values.

When your happiness comes from within, you may begin to notice a few changes about yourself. Some of these include, but are not limited to:

More Confidence

A boost in confidence can be one of the most common benefits of inner happiness. This may be because you become surer of yourself and what you can control. You create a realistic understanding of your place in the world and begin to realize the role your perspective plays when it comes to the things that happen to you. You begin to understand that you can strive for what you want and that the possibility for you to succeed exists. Even if you don't succeed, you know that it's not a reflection of what you are capable of, but rather it's often a matter outside of your control.

Recognizing Self-Worth

With more confidence comes a higher recognition of your self-worth. When this happens, you learn how to love yourself, show up for yourself, and identify the values that are important to you. You see the relationship between happiness and how you view yourself. You also discover that just like food, water, shelter, and clothing, self-worth is something that you need in order to live as the healthiest version of yourself.

One of the most beneficial things you might learn when you have inner happiness is that your self-worth no longer depends on what others say, think, or feel about you. Their opinions fall to the wayside as you build yourself up from the inside out. For instance, if your boss criticizes you at work, you no longer resort to thinking that you're incapable, but rather, you consider that maybe they were just having a bad day.

Challenging Yourself

Inner happiness typically grants you more control over the challenges that you face, as well as how you choose to cope with them. For example, if you want to lose weight and get healthier, it's because you want to give that to yourself, not because someone told you that you should. Another instance might be attempting to reach the next stage of your career. When your happiness comes from within, you do this because you're ready and confident, not because you're worried about what others will think if you don't.

There will always be challenges in your life that happen because of factors you can't control. However, when you create your happiness, the most urgent problems are those you feel you should solve for your own well-being. True inner happiness can help you see the difference between the challenges that can improve you and those that won’t, giving you a greater sense of control over what deserves your time and attention.

Desire For Change

Another positive side-effect of inner happiness can be noticing things you want to change in your life. You may develop a greater desire to do something about these things. Perhaps you’ll begin to understand what things in your life no longer serve you and take steps to take to eliminate them. You might choose to avoid those things which do not feel in alignment with who you are and instead work toward chasing the things that reinforce your happiness.

Less Dependency

When your happiness comes from within, you may start to feel less dependent on outside influences to make you happy. There is no obligation to make a lot of friends, find the perfect partner, or even have the perfect job. No matter how much money you acquire and spend, you might realize that it feels impossible to find true inner happiness in an object. Knowing that you don't need to depend on anyone or anything else to make you happy can help you experience true freedom.

Wondering How To Find Happiness Within Yourself?

Becoming More Positive

Achieving true inner happiness can naturally help you become a more positive person. This is because happiness typically takes a certain perspective to discover. You may develop this perspective when you understand what you are capable of, how important you are, and just how much you have to be grateful for. When your happiness comes from within, you may see the positive things that happen to you as unexpected blessings and build a sense of gratitude for them. You might learn to appreciate the role of everything around you, even if it doesn't always bring you joy. 

Perhaps you train your brain to recognize the good in the world, whether that means noticing more people holding the door open for one another or taking a few extra moments to read positive stories in the news. You might speak with more kindness, become more charitable to others, and go out of your way to share your happiness with them. A positive outlook can impact your life in a multitude of ways. 

Ignoring Criticism

When someone criticizes you, it can be easy to carry that with you for a while. For example, if someone were to tell you that you were terrible at art, you might take it personally and give up on it altogether. When you achieve inner happiness, you learn to ignore criticism like this and pursue what makes you happy. This can be one of the most important changes that take place when you find happiness from within.

Accepting Yourself

Another important change you may see when happiness comes from within is the ability to accept yourself for who you are. You can love your strengths, admit your weaknesses, appreciate your flaws, and embrace your habits. One of the benefits of self-acceptance is eliminating the urgency to change anything about yourself. Being happy means you may only feel the need to change because it matters to you, not because you feel like something is wrong with you. Self-acceptance is typically the foundation of self-love, which is where your inner happiness can thrive.

Alternative Solutions

Does it feel like there are days when you just aren't happy with yourself? If so, it might be time to seek professional help from a therapist. However, if you're not quite ready for counseling, there are several alternative options for you to consider.

  • Learn to let go. Learning to let go of the past can be a first step in the right direction. It can be difficult enough trying to focus on the present, let alone the future, if you're stuck on what's already happened. Although this might be easier said than done, it can take a huge weight off your shoulders and help you rediscover your inner happiness.

  • Focus on your features. If you spend too much time focusing on your flaws, it can be easy to miss all of the positive features that make you who you are. Focusing on these features can help you to reignite your inner happiness and recognize the positive rather than the negative.

  • Explore new hobbies. If you feel like you're in a slump, it might help you to get out and explore all sorts of different hobbies that you may enjoy. This can help you discover new and exciting passions that stimulate your mind and make you happy from within.

Online Counseling With BetterHelp

If you or someone you know is struggling with finding inner happiness, online therapy can be a valuable tool. Online counseling through BetterHelp provides an opportunity to work with professionals from the comfort of your own home (or wherever you have an internet connection). A licensed counselor can give you the techniques and confidence to properly address your emotions so you can move forward. 

The Efficacy Of Online Counseling 

A growing body of research suggests that online therapy is a helpful method for providing counseling to those experiencing difficult emotions, such as unhappiness, that may be related to depression or other mental health disorders. For example, in a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, the effectiveness of online cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in treating individuals with depression was evaluated. After treatment, participants reported that their overall condition, along with their sleep quality, was significantly improved. Researchers concluded that online CBT is “highly effective” for those experiencing symptoms of depression. Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps individuals understand and eliminate the negative, unhelpful thoughts that are often underlying feelings related to depression so that they can begin to control their emotions and live healthier lives.

Counselor Reviews

"Emily is great. She is so sweet and supportive while getting to know me. She has played a major role in my recovery and pursuit to find happiness. It's getting better every day and I couldn't be more pleased with Emily's professionalism."

"I've worked with Jamie for a number of months and he's helped me with everything that life has thrown my way. Difficulty in work, my relationship, and other stresses that I've struggled to navigate by myself. He listens and he helps. I always feel validated and supported. He gives me tools and perspectives that have made a big difference in my overall happiness."

The Takeaway

When your happiness comes from within, you may be less prone to search for it in outside sources. An unshakeable sense of contentment can improve your quality of life, change your perspective on challenges that come your way, and help you make your well-being your top priority. With the right tools and support, you can learn how to experience peace of mind even when your external circumstances try to bring you down. Working with a licensed online therapist can help you develop a happier, healthier state of mind.

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