How You Change When Happiness Comes From Within

By Rachel Lustbader

Updated May 09, 2019

Reviewer Karen Devlin, LPC

Not all happiness is equal. There is happiness that comes because of the things that happen to us, and the type of happiness that we create all on our own. It is the happiness that we create for ourselves that gives us greater meaning and brings about the most change in our lives. When your happiness comes from within you may notice you:


Have More Confidence

When your happiness comes from within you, become more confident. This is because you are surer of yourself and what you can control. You create a realistic understanding of your place in the world and realize the role your perspective plays when it comes to the things that happen to you.

You understand that you can strive for what you want, that the possibility for you to succeed exists. But if you do not succeed, you also know it is not a reflection of what you are capable of. It is simply a matter outside of your control.

See Your Self Worth

When happiness comes from within, you have no option but to see just how much you are worth. You learn how to love yourself, show up for yourself, and find the value that makes you important. You see the relationship between happiness and how you view yourself. You're motivated to continue building your self-worth too. You learn that just like food, water, shelter, and clothing, self-worth is something that you need to achieve the best version of yourself possible.

One of the best things you learn when you have inner happiness is that your self-worth no longer depends on what others say, think, or feel about you. Their opinions fall to the wayside as you build yourself up from the inside out. Now, if your boss criticizes you at work, you no longer resort to thinking you are stupid or incapable, you know that it is simply your boss who does not realize your true potential.

Happiness Comes from Prioritizing Yourself

We're conditioned to think that when we put ourselves first, we are self-centered. But, when your happiness comes from within you know the difference between being selfish and self-love. You learn how important it is to take care of your body and your mind and you see how the more you love yourself and follow your truth, the happier you become.


Prioritizing yourself is something you must choose to do. Whether it is a long walk in nature, a few minutes with your favorite book, or an occasional pampering at the spa. You learn that spending some time with yourself is one of the easiest ways to meet your needs. The best part of meeting your needs is that when you do so, you automatically have more energy to meet the needs of those around you too.

Challenge Yourself

When your happiness comes from within, you get more control over what challenges you do and do not want to take on. If you want to lose weight and get healthier, it is because you want to give that to yourself, not because some magazine told you it is what should happen. If you want to reach the next stage of your career, it is because you are ready to, not because you're worried about what others will think if you don't.

There will always be challenges in your life that happen because of what you cannot control. However, when you create your happiness the most urgent problems are those you feel you should solve for your wellbeing. True happiness will let you see the difference between the challenges that will better you and those that will not, giving you a greater sense of control over what deserves your attention.

Want To Make Changes

When happiness comes from within, you start noticing things you want to change your life, and you do something about them. You start to learn what things in your life no longer serve you and take steps to eliminate them. You will choose to avoid those things which do not feel good and work towards chasing the things that reinforce your happiness.

Don't Depend On Anything Else To Make You Happy

When your happiness comes from within, you do not need to look to outside influences to make you happy. There is no obligation to make a lot of friends, find the perfect partner, or have the perfect job. You realize that no matter how much money you spend, you can not find happiness in an object either. In fact, when happiness comes from within, it is there when you need it. You will never need to wait around for it to find you or go out of your way to find it.


This is one of the most important things you will realize when you create your happiness. Knowing you do not need to depend on anyone else or anything else to make you happy is freeing. That is not to say no one will ever let you down, or that you will not ever feel compelled to buy or try something because you think it will make you happy. But, you will better understand that these outside factors have less of an influence on you than you once believed.

See That Bad Times Do Not Shake You

When happiness comes from within, you know how to bounce back from bad things faster and with less pain. You have the tools to create happiness when you need it, lessening the chances of a terrible situation making you crumble mentally or emotionally.

When bad things do happen, you have a healthier perspective about the reasons why they occur. You will also know what you need to do to care for yourself in those situations. You learn that happiness does not depend on what happens to you, which gives you a true sense of how temporary every bad situation is.

Become More Positive

When happiness comes from within, you naturally become a more positive person. This is because happiness takes a certain perspective to find. You understand what you are capable of, how important you are, and just how great your life is.

You see the good things that happen to you as unexpected blessings and build a sense of gratitude for them. You learn to appreciate the role of everything around you, even if it does not always bring you joy. You train your brain to recognize the good in the world, whether that is noticing more people holding the door open for one another or taking a few extra moments to watch positive stories on the news.

You also become a more positive person. You speak with more kindness, become more charitable to others, and go out of your way to share your happiness with them. You smile more. Laugh more. And become more mindful of not letting bad thoughts fester.

Let Go Of What Is Not Yours

This is one of the most important changes that happens when you find happiness within. We are all affected in some way or another by something that does not belong to us. For example, you may think that you are not artistic because someone told you that you couldn't be. Or you may think that you are not capable of reaching your goals because someone once told you they were impossible.

If your happiness comes from within, you learn to recognize what fears and beliefs you have just because someone else gave them to you. You learn to find the source of these beliefs and mentally give them back to who they belong to. You will learn to tell the difference between your inner voice and the voices of others that cloud your thoughts. You will also be able to turn off those outside voices to focus solely on your own.


Accept Yourself

Another important change you will see when happiness comes from within, is the ability to accept yourself for who you are. You will love your strengths, admit your weaknesses, appreciate your flaws, and embrace your bad habits.

You will love yourself without judgment and drop the word "should" from your vocabulary. No longer will you have arguments with yourself like "I should do this" or "I should think that." No more, "I should look like this," or "I should act like that." Gone will be the days that you feel the need to meet any expectation that is not your own.

The biggest benefit to self-acceptance is eliminating the urgency to change things about yourself. You will only feel the need to change because it matters to you. Not because you feel like something is wrong with you, to begin with. Self-acceptance is the foundation of self-love, and it will feel so good to be in love with you.

There are many ways we change when happiness comes from within. Some changes you notice right away, others will take months or even years to notice. If creating happiness for yourself is something you hope to do, reach out to a professional, like those available at BetterHelp today. It takes work to make your happiness your own, but if you do, you will enjoy all these changes and more.

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