How To Set Goals For Therapy: Prioritizing Your Greatest Needs

People seek therapy for many different reasons, but they may not be aware of the full scope of their needs when the time comes for their first session. Sometimes, a person might only have a vague idea of needing to “feel better,” or they might have an idea of what is causing their concern but are stumped trying to solve it. Regardless of whether you know exactly what is bringing you to therapy, setting goals will likely be helpful. Considering therapy goals requires you to think about everything that brings you to therapy, which will be valuable information for your therapist. This article will discuss how to set goals for therapy and why attempting to set goals, even if they aren’t perfect, will likely be helpful. 

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What kind of goals are set in therapy?

A common misconception about goals in therapy is that the therapist sets them. While a therapist can certainly help with guidance related to goals, the only one who can make a final decision about their goals and objectives is the person receiving therapy. Because of this, goals for therapy can vary considerably from person to person, even if they are dealing with similar concerns. Some forms of psychotherapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy, can rely on goals that are standardized across patients, but that is not always the case. 

Initial goals for therapy are usually broad. The patient and their therapist often work together to break down those broad goals into manageable tasks that align with empirically supported techniques to address the patient’s concern. Some common initial goals include: 

• Learning to manage adverse feelings, like excessive sadness or anxiety. 
• Resolving a mental health condition and managing chronic mental health conditions.
• Developing communication skills to help with relationships.
• Improving self-esteem, confidence, or other forms of self-improvement. 
• Learning how to set healthy boundaries at work, home, or school. 
• Help with romantic, family, social, and professional relationship skills. 
• Developing skills to accept things that cannot be changed. 
• Improving emotional intelligence, social awareness, and social skills. 
• Initiating a process of self-discovery and exploration. 

The list above is far from complete, and it is important to remember that there are almost no “wrong” goals to bring to therapy. That said, not all goals are created equal, and some may be easier to achieve than others. Your therapist can help you refine your goals and turn them into achievable steps. 

How to begin setting your goals

If you’re starting therapy, you probably already have at least a broad idea of why you are seeking help with mental health care. If you are having a hard time narrowing it down, it might be helpful to ask yourself the Miracle Question. The miracle question originated out of solution-focused therapy and is commonly used to help clarify goals: 

“Suppose that while you are sleeping tonight, a miracle happens. The miracle is that the problem that prompted you to seek therapy is solved. However, because you’re sleeping, you don’t know the miracle has happened. When you wake in the morning, what will be different that will tell you a miracle has happened and your problem has been solved?”

Answering the miracle question requires that you consider what factors in your life are causing the distress that brought you to therapy. Your answer may not amount to realistic goals without additional thought, but it will likely offer insight into practical solutions to your concerns. 

Prepare to be honest and open

After considering the miracle question and your answers to it, you might not feel completely comfortable bringing your findings to a therapist. Many people also find it challenging to overcome the stigma associated with psychotherapy and might have concerns that their therapist will judge them or invalidate their experience. 

While those kinds of fears are normal and common, it is important to be as honest as possible during your therapy session. Therapists are trained to address your concerns with an open mind and non-judgmental approach. In fact, a therapist’s non-judgment is a crucial part of building a strong therapeutic alliance, which is typically required for therapy to be effective.  

Write down your concerns to bring to therapy

Consider writing down every concern you can identify before your first therapy session. It can sometimes be challenging to mentally recall every concern you may have, and writing down your thoughts can help you present a clear picture to your therapist. It is important to note that you don’t need to have perfectly formed goals or desired outcomes for therapy, but it will likely be helpful to have a list of what is bringing you to therapy. 

If you have some time before your first session, you might want to consider getting in the habit of journaling. Not only can journaling help prepare you for therapy but it is also known to be a helpful intervention that increases overall well-being. Writing down mental concerns, your mood, adverse experiences, or anything you think might be relevant will likely be helpful. You don’t need to journal about anything specifically, but it might be helpful to start by writing down feelings relevant to the concerns that are bringing you to therapy. 

Take a stab at setting achievable goals

People rarely come to therapy with their goals perfectly structured and ready to be pursued. However, it might be helpful for you to try your hand at developing evidence-based goals before beginning therapy. Doing so might provide extra insight regarding your goals that may be beneficial when therapy begins. 

Research surrounding goal setting generally supports the use of SMART goals. SMART is an acronym that stands for goals that are:

• Specific. A specific goal can be clearly understood by you and others with little ambiguity. For example, instead of setting a goal like “I want to socialize more,” you choose the goal “I want to talk to at least two new people each week.” 
• Measurable. A measurable goal is one whose progress can be easily tracked. If your goal is to socialize more, you might track the number of social encounters you had, your feelings during the encounters, or other data relevant to your progress. 
• Attainable. While it may seem wise to set lofty goals to motivate yourself to the fullest extent, research suggests that broad goals may reduce overall motivation. Instead, experts recommend choosing smaller, more attainable goals that scaffold upward toward a larger goal. 
• Relevant. Because evidence suggests that smaller, more attainable goals are likely to carry you farther than pursuing lofty goals, it is important to ensure that your goals remain relevant to your “mission.” 
• Time-bound. Goals tend to work best when they have a deadline. When setting a therapy goal, consider how much time it will likely take to complete it, and set a deadline that keeps you from getting distracted by other factors. 

You may have noticed several areas where a therapist may be helpful when establishing goals using the SMART system. They might be able to help you find consistent data points to make your goals measurable, help you understand your limits when selecting attainable goals, keep your goals relevant, and help you find reasonable deadlines. However, it may be beneficial to take a crack at developing goals first; you might find clarity and understanding beyond what you had before. 

What else should I consider when setting goals for therapy?

One important thing to remember is that finding a therapist is a bit like going on a blind date. You might not end up liking or “clicking” with the first clinical social worker, licensed therapist, or other professional you encounter. You can be picky when selecting a therapist; forming a strong therapeutic alliance is typically considered essential for therapy to be effective, and it's important you choose someone with whom you feel comfortable. 

You might find online therapy helpful when choosing a therapist who meshes with you well. Online therapists have the same credentials and skills as in-person therapists. They can assist with setting goals, developing a treatment plan, and finding strategies to address your primary concern. They can also evaluate other mental health conditions and provide therapeutic solutions for a wide range of concerns using evidence-based treatments, like cognitive behavioral therapy. 

You can attend therapy sessions from home and may be able to pick from more practitioners than are available in your local area. Accessing talk therapy online has become increasingly popular in recent years, prompting researchers to investigate whether therapy conducted online works as well as face-to-face therapy. The results of their research align with the opinions of most mental health professionals; in most cases, therapy conducted online is just as effective as traditional therapy. 

Takeaway

Setting goals for therapy can be complex, but it’s a process that can be simplified by understanding the basics of what makes an effective therapeutic goal. Before the first session, it is generally a good idea to understand your intentions, even if they are vague. Writing down your concerns or journaling for at least a few days before attending therapy may be helpful. It might also be worthwhile to try developing goals that are specific and attainable, although a therapist can likely assist with setting up practical goals. Even if your goals seem vague, it is likely worth your time to consider them in detail before your first session with a therapist.