Neurodiversity And Self-Esteem: Mental Health Support

As a result, self-esteem and self-worth among neurodivergent individuals are statistically lower than among the general population, which can be further exacerbated by higher rates of comorbid mental health conditions among this population. Read on to find out more about neurodivergence, why it’s sometimes associated with self-esteem issues, and how neurodivergent people can achieve healthy self-esteem through professional support.

What does it mean to have a neurodiverse brain?

The term “neurodivergent” was coined by Australian sociologist Judy Singer in 1998. It’s simply intended to describe people whose brains work differently than what is considered a “standard,” or normal brain—which can manifest as subtle differences or significant variations, since neurodivergence is a spectrum. Similarly, the word “neurodiversity” refers to the idea that people’s brains can work in a variety of ways. This can encompass those with autistic traits or who are on the autistic spectrum, those with neurodevelopmental differences, and those with learning differences or learning disabilities.

Singer pointed out that people with a neurodiverse brain are often unfairly marginalized. The only thing separating them from “neurotypical” people, she argued, is that neurodivergent individuals view, experience, and interact with the world in ways that are different from what is often considered to be “typical.” In other words, they can be considered neurological minorities. The neurodiversity paradigm suggests that those who are neurotypical may never be able to understand the experiences of those who are neurodivergent, such as those in the autism community and those with neurodevelopmental conditions.

The neurodiversity movement is a social justice movement, advocating for the rights and acceptance of all individuals—regardless of their neurology. It seeks to promote equality and challenge the idea that being “neurotypical” is the only way to be, and instead embraces the diversity of brain functioning. Embracing neurodiversity and this movement can help to create an inclusive environment in which people whose brain works differently are valued and respected, and where everyone—no matter where they are on the neurodiversity spectrum—can flourish and enjoy rewarding social relationships rather than experiencing social exclusion.

Autism Spectrum, ADHD, and common forms of neurodiversity

The term “neurodiversity” means there are many ways to be neurodivergent, and the level of neurodivergence often exists on a spectrum or scale. These human brain differences usually take the form of developmental disorders or other conditions. Some of the most common include:

• Dyslexia, which manifests as difficulty reading as a result of problems identifying the sounds associated with letters and words.
• Dyscalculia, which is similar to dyslexia, but for math and number-based information rather than letters and words.
• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD), which usually manifests as different ways of learning, interacting socially, paying attention, and moving, and may also be characterized by a narrow range of intense interests and repetitive behaviors.
• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), which can manifest as trouble paying attention, hyperactivity, or a combination of both.
• Dyspraxia, a developmental disorder that affects movement and coordination.
• Tourette syndrome (sometimes called Tourette’s disorder), a nervous system condition characterized by physical and vocal tics, or sudden, involuntary, repeated movements.

Some individuals may even have more than one condition or mental illness, such as having ADHD and also autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety, eating disorders, or personality disorders. Each of these can affect an individual in different ways in terms of mood, learning abilities, attention, communication, socializing, and mental health, and it can sometimes be challenging to get a formal diagnosis for these conditions. Even without a diagnosis, some people may sense that they are different from others.

The importance of embracing neurodiversity in mental health

For some autistic individuals and other neurodivergent people, the impact is minor and almost unnoticeable. For others, these conditions and disorders can cause great difficulties or hardships. Sometimes, these difficulties are largely based on stigma against people with autism, people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or other neurodiverse individuals, thus leading to them not being able to seek care experiencing mental health issues. This underlines the importance of a neurodiversity movement, which you can explore on various social media platforms,  where many autistic adults and other neurodivergent individuals are spreading awareness. In addition, some businesses and colleges, such as Syracuse University, have started neurodiversity projects to better serve neurodivergent individuals and foster each individual’s ability to thrive. Harvard Business Review even published an article about the ways in which neurodiversity can be an advantage.

Self-esteem for those on the autism spectrum and beyond

According to the above-mentioned article in the Harvard Business Review, work teams that include neurodivergent professionals can be 30% more productive than those without them. Depending on the type and level, these individuals have also been shown to be more creative and better at problem-solving and understanding patterns than neurotypical people tend to be. Finally, their way of experiencing the world can simply bring diversity and a unique perspective to the table, which can be valuable in any setting. In other words, neurodivergent people have a lot to contribute. 

Why low self-esteem can develop in neurodivergent people

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1. Study participants with autism reported “significantly lower” power and self-esteem than neurotypical individuals
2. Higher self-esteem was predicted in an autistic person by more “positive self-appraisals,” including an emphasis on more perceived benefits and lower levels of helplessness
3. Global self-esteem was “significantly and positively associated” with an individual’s perception of their own giftedness, emotional resilience, and power

Negative self-talk and how to challenge it

Low self-esteem can often result in negative self-talk, which can then reinforce low self-worth, creating a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. To break the cycle, it may be necessary to challenge negative self-talk.

A simple reframe process you can repeat

A simple way to challenge negative self-talk is to replace the thought with something more positive or closer to the truth. For example, instead of embracing the belief, “I’m too lazy to make good grades,” you can replace this thought with “I learn differently, but I can make decent grades when I work hard.” When you reframe unhelpful thoughts in this way, you can improve self-esteem over time.

Self-compassion and self-acceptance for healthy self-esteem

In addition to reframing unhelpful thoughts, it might be necessary to embrace self-compassion and self-acceptance in order to improve self-esteem. This may not come naturally at first, but over time, it may feel more comfortable. 

Self-compassion practices that feel doable

Some simple things you can do to practice self-compassion include: 

• Practice self-affirmations. 
• Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes.
• Self-soothe by giving yourself a hug. 
• Reframe negative thoughts. 
• Give your body and mind what it needs to feel okay. 
• Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel negative emotions. Don’t beat yourself up.

Try practicing these self-compassion techniques a little at a time as you build motivation.

Relationships, people pleasing, and boundary setting

Neurodivergent individuals develop coping mechanisms to fit in with their neurotypical peers and navigate a world that sometimes feels foreign. For example, they may develop people-pleasing tendencies to avoid conflict or minimize feelings of fear or shame. However, the downside of people-pleasing is that it makes it hard to set necessary personal boundaries in relationships and group settings.

Boundary setting scripts for common situations

Boundary setting doesn’t always come naturally to people who are neurodivergent. You may fear hurting someone’s feelings or creating a conflict. It can be helpful to have scripts in place for various situations where setting boundaries is necessary: 

• When feeling overwhelmed: I need to clear my head right now, but we can revisit this conversation tomorrow. 
• When you need to escape a social situation: Excuse me, I need to visit the restroom (and then don’t return). 
• When you don’t have time to help: I need to focus on this project right now.
• When you need to change the subject: I don’t feel comfortable talking about this. 

Building confidence in group settings

Group settings can be especially challenging for neurodiverse individuals. These settings can often be overstimulating and require certain social skills that neurodivergent people may lack. There are ways to build confidence and self-esteem, so you can become more comfortable in these environments, though, including:

• Engage in social skills training to learn specific skills like conversation starters and active listening, for example. 
• Practice being vulnerable and authentic, as opposed to masking. 
• Find groups of people with interests similar to your own, so interaction feels more natural.

More tips to help increase self-esteem for the neurodiverse

A large part of the reason that many neurodivergent individuals experience low self-esteem may be that they live in a context where neurodivergence often isn’t understood or valued. They may have trouble with school, work, relationships, and other aspects of life as a result of the world being set up primarily for neurotypical individuals, and these struggles could translate to the perception that they themselves are flawed.

Shift your perspective

The article in the Harvard Business Review describes neurodiversity as “a competitive advantage,” discussing how neurodivergence can result in “higher-than-average abilities” and special skills in areas like pattern recognition, memory, or math, along with uniquely creative approaches to tasks and problems. Focusing on the ways in which your neurodivergence can be beneficial to you and/or others may help you build self-esteem. 

Find community and role models

See a therapist who has experience with neurodiversity and mental health expertise