How Sexual Fetishism Can Impact Your Relationship
Updated August 27, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers
You know that sex is an important part of any healthy relationship. Some people have different sexual desires and expectations than others, though. You might have certain things that turn you on sexually that are a bit outside of what is considered “normal.” It’s hard to define what is normal as far as sex is concerned, but many people certainly have sexual fetishes. Sexual fetishism is defined as someone being attracted to a nonliving object or a body part that is not the genitalia. This is actually more common than many people realize, and various people have sexual fetishes. There are a large number of different sexual fetishes, and some of them are fairly tame, while others might be more surprising.
If you have discovered that you have a sexual fetish or that your partner has a sexual fetish, then this could impact your relationship in various ways. Sexual fetishism is a tricky subject because it can add something to your love life, or it could make things awkward if the other person is against your sexual fetish. Having an unusual sexual interest might put a strain on your relationship. On the other hand, a specific sexual fetish could also lead to greater sexual gratification. Keep reading while this subject is explored in detail.
Learning About Your Sex Partner
It’s definitely good to know more about your sex partner so that you can bond. Opening up to each other has the potential to help you become a more intimate couple. You could wind up getting much closer and having a tighter sexual bond than ever before. Feeling comfortable enough with another person to divulge all of your sexual desires is tough. Some people never feel comfortable enough to talk about certain things. If you trust your partner and you know that they love you, then opening up about your sexual fetishism can be good.
Learning about your sex partner will allow you to explore new sides of each other. You might see your partner in a different light when you learn about different sexual fetishes that they have. Some people have specific sexual fetishes that involve certain body parts. Other fetishes might be related to an activity or an object. Depending on how you or your partner feels about a specific sexual fetish, it might be possible to incorporate it into your sex life.
Incorporating Sex Fetishes In The Bedroom
Incorporating sex fetishes in the bedroom can be a thrilling prospect. You and your partner have opened up to each other and discovered that you like certain fetishes. If you have fetishes that line up well, then you might wind up having a very satisfying sex life. It’s important to take caution before moving forward, though. You want to ensure that both of you feel comfortable with everything moving forward. Ensure that both parties understand what you’re about to do and that you’re both ready for it. Consent is going to be the keyword here. You should never pressure someone into incorporating a sex fetish that makes them feel uneasy or odd. If you care about your partner, then it’s best to discuss their feelings thoroughly while also being honest with your own.
Try out your sex fetishes in the bedroom so long as both you and your partner are ready for it. If you have a good time with it, then this could become a regular part of your sex life. Some sex fetishes are considered to be more “normal” than others and won’t seem problematic to incorporate. Others might be a bit on the unusual side and could be an acquired taste, so to speak. You’ll have to see how things play out since it’s always possible that a sex fetish will sound good on paper and not really be so fun in practice. Ask your partner for honest feedback after you’ve had sex and see how things went.
Some couples will have this process go exceedingly well, and it’ll light a fire in the bedroom. It feels good to be able to be honest about your sexual desires and to have those desires to be respected. If you find a partner that does this for you, then you’re very fortunate. Not everyone is going to have an easy time finding a partner that is open to experimenting with sexual fetishes. It’s certainly more common to explore different types of sex in modern times than it was several decades ago, but some fetishes are still seen as unusual by the masses.
What To Do When Your Partner Doesn’t Like Your Sex Fetish
What are you supposed to do if your partner doesn’t like your sex fetish? Is it going to be possible to save a relationship when this occurs? Not liking your partner’s sex fetish doesn’t have to be a big deal, and some couples go on perfectly happy without incorporating that fetish. Sometimes a sex fetish will remain a curiosity for someone, and they’ll be okay with that. You don’t have to participate in a sex fetish that you don’t like, and neither does your partner. You should still be accepting of your partner’s interest and should never make fun of them or belittle them for how they feel.
One of the biggest problems that could arise from this situation is if one member of the relationship feels judged. For instance, if someone in a relationship has a foot fetish, then they might want to open up and tell their partner about this. If the partner thinks this is gross, then they might decide to make fun of the fetish, and this will lead to hurt feelings. It’s fine to not like a fetish, but you shouldn’t be hurtful about it. Simply note that this specific sexual fetish is not for you and then move on to try to find other ways that you can connect sexually.
As long as a sexual fetish isn’t going to cause harm in some way, it’s fine to entertain the idea and then turn it down if you don’t like it. If a fetish runs the risk of exposing you to a sexually transmitted disease, such as sleeping with other people, then you might want to turn it down flat out. Just try to be respectful, and you shouldn’t encounter any relationship problems. There might be times when a person will be disappointed that you don’t like a fetish, but they should be accepting of your feelings if they truly care about you.
When Sex Fetishes Become A Problem
There are also going to be times where a sex fetish will present a problem in a relationship. For instance, sex fetish might be too unusual for someone to accept. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with this, but if your partner has specific world views, then they might not be willing to entertain this side of you. Whether your sex fetishism is going to prevent your relationship from moving forward depends on several factors. You have to figure out whether your fetish needs to be catered to for you to be happy in a relationship. It’s also important to determine if your partner can accept that you like certain things without judgment.
Some people will simply discover that they are not compatible sexually. This has happened to couples who have been together for quite some time. You don’t have to dislike someone to discover that you just aren’t well-suited to be together. For some people, sexual gratification is going to be a big part of a relationship. If your sexual fetish is something that you want to make an important thing in your life, then moving on might be ideal. Having a specific fetish that you like is fine, but it’s also good to accept when you and your partner simply have diverging sexual interests.
Relationship Counseling Might Be Beneficial
For some couples, relationship counseling might be beneficial. If you’re struggling to come together in certain ways, then you might need a professional perspective to help guide you. Learning how to gel as a couple sexually might take some time, and coming to accept certain things about your partner might not be easy. If you love each other and you want this relationship to work out, then spending time with a therapist is perfect. You can work through issues that might be holding you back while learning how to communicate better. This could lead to a happier relationship, and you might even be able to figure out how to come together sexually as well.
Remember that you have options when it comes to signing up for therapy, too. You could consider signing up for online therapy if you would like to get help from the comfort of home. Being able to go to relationship counseling without leaving the house is great, and it’s as discreet as can be. This is an affordable therapy option that is easy to take advantage of. Just know that help is available and that you don’t have to face your relationship problems without assistance. You can work through everything so long as you’re committed to each other and ready to move forward.
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