Lust Vs. Love: Understanding The Differences For A Fulfilling Relationship
When it comes to love and lust, you may have experienced at least one. Love and lust are common emotions that you may encounter in a relationship. With that said, it's usually rare to experience both emotions in a relationship. Experts reveal that you may experience these emotions in phases during the relationship time. Despite the similarities or occurrences of these emotions, they have unique and distinguishing features. If you're confused about whether you're in love or you have a lust for your partner, it might be best to understand the differences between these emotions.
Definition Of Love?
Love refers to a particular emotional attachment you may have towards your partner or someone. It's a powerful feeling that might make you feel completely bound to another individual you may dream of sharing with your life. Usually, the emotion of love comes after the initial infatuation with someone. When you love someone, it might build and gets stronger with time. It may last for a lifetime when you nurture and grow your bond with your partner.
Signs Of Love
While many individuals may confuse love with other emotions, there might be some signs that show love, which maybe.
If you might feel a sense of emotional attraction
Making plans for your future with your partner
Being willing to sacrifice anything for your partner
Feeling safe with your partner
You might be willing to take your relationship to the next level
You might feel a sense of commitment and loyalty toward your partner
Definition Of Lust?
Lust may refer to a common emotion that might be based on sexual satisfaction or attraction. When having lust, you might always feel sexually attracted to another person. Some experts may describe it as a primal and raw feeling that may come practically. Some of the components of lust might be sexual arousal, attraction, and fulfillment usually characterize lust. Lust could also result in a temporary sensation that appears overwhelming and intense at times, which might tempt you to act irrationally.
Signs Of Lust
It may be possible that when you are feeling lust for someone, it may take over your sexual desires and hormones. It's usually hard to notice the signs of lust as your emotions might have taken over you.
Let's look at the sign to notice if you might be lusting over someone:
• Feeling sexually aroused
• Attraction toward someone's body or physical appearance
• A sudden desire to act on sexual urges
• Having frequent thoughts about having sex
• You may feel tempted to act on your desires.
• The urge to make physical contact with someone
• Your fantasies may be based on sexual desires
• Involving or engaging in any kind of sexual activities with the other person
Differences Between Love And Lust
While love and lust might be similar emotions, they have some distinct features and characteristics. Understanding the differences between these emotions is likely good to help you develop a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Here are some of the features that may differentiate love and lust:
Feelings
Feelings might be the main distinguishing features of love and lust. Love might involve an intense feeling of affection and cares for another individual. The feeling becomes so intense that the individual experiencing the love might quickly form a secure emotional attachment with you. In contrast, lust might be raw desires and feelings of sex with each other. Both emotions could be based on sexual or physical attraction, but they are still quite different. Because after getting intimacy, the feeling could either turn into love or just lust.
Timelines
Many believe love usually takes time to develop, but lust happens immediately. Love might require time and effort to connect deeply with someone, but lust may occur within a shorter period. It's why many people might confuse love and lust with each other.
The Time You Spent Together
When having lust, you might spend more time enjoying your sexual life rather than concentrating on a deeply emotional conversation. In contrast, if you're in love or in the beginning stages of falling in love, you might try to become close with someone more by having insightful conversations and learning about their likes and dislikes. You may also find time to discuss your emotional commitment with them.
Future Commitment
With the sexual desires that come with lust, you may lack the immediate desire to have any commitments. All you might want from the relationship is likely to have short-term sexual satisfaction and not build a future together. But if you are in love, you'll consider showing commitment physically and emotionally. During this time, you might continue learning about your partner and plan for the future.
Relationship Dynamics
There might be two different relationship dynamics between lust and love. Lust usually comes with an intense desire to have intercourse, while love involves a caring and secure relationship. How you interact with each other may differ when in love and lust. With a deep emotional connection, you may care more about the other person and their feelings. While with lust, you may only want to physically satisfy yourself and your partner.
Why Is It Vital To Understand The Difference Between Love And Lust In Your Relationship?
It may be ideal to understand the difference between love and lust, as they could significantly impact your personal lives and relationships. While lust may provide temporary pleasure, true love offers a more profound sense of fulfillment and lifetime happiness. Understanding the distinction between love and lust could help you make informed decisions about your relationships. In addition, the knowledge might ensure that you're seeking and experiencing genuine, healthy relationships.
Can You Feel Lust And Love Simultaneously?
With love and lust being two common emotions in a relationship, you may wonder if you could feel love and lust simultaneously. It could be possible to have both emotions simultaneously in your relationship, but they could often be confused with each other. However, it might be ideal to understand that love and lust are two different emotions, and one emotion could eventually take precedence over the other. But being able to differentiate between love and lust might help you determine whether you are in a healthy and meaningful relationship.
What Are The Benefits Of Online therapy?
Online therapy might be best when understanding the difference between love and lust. Not only could you speak with a trained professional who has experience in this field, but you could also get personalized advice tailored to your own needs. Furthermore, it could be beneficial to talk about your feelings in a safe environment without the fear of judgment. By using online therapy, you may also have connection to support and guidance to help you understand love and lust at any.
"Lust might be easily satisfied, but love could never be satisfied." - Marcus Tullius Cicero,
How Effective Is Online therapy?
It may vary based on the individual, the type of therapy, and the therapeutic relationship between the client and therapist. However, most studies have shown that online therapy could be effective in understanding the meaning of love and lust. A study by Aaron Rochlen, Ph.D., showed that online therapy could provide similar results to traditional in-person therapy when it comes to an understanding of the different emotions involved in a relationship.
Conclusion
Understanding the difference between lust and love could be best for building healthy relationships and achieving emotional well-being. While lust seeks physical pleasure, love involves a deep emotional bond which could lead to long-lasting fulfillment. Online therapy could be an effective option for understanding the difference between the two emotions and learning how to navigate them in a relationship.
FAQs
How do you differentiate between love and lust?
Love and lust are two separate sensations that you must not see as similar. Sometimes, you find it difficult to tell the difference between lust and love because they are both developed from being psychologically attracted to someone and borne out of the physical connection. So, how do you tell the difference between love and lust? What do you feel, is it love or lust? The following are ways to distinguish love from lust:
- Emotional Connection Vs Physical Connection: When you meet someone you admire relative to sensation, you will definitely feel connected to such a person. The connection can either be physical or emotional. Lust is physical and love is emotional. When it’s physical, your mentality is directed towards sex, but when love is emotional it’s more than that. Emotional connection involves being attracted to someone and wanting to be part of that person’s life too. It also involves attending to both the physical and emotional needs of the other person.
- Instant Pleasure Vs Delayed Gratification: Under lust vs love explanation, lust is seen as a sensation that results in instant pleasure (it’s impulsive), while love involves delayed gratification (it’s deliberate).
- Superficiality vs Substantiality: This is an important point when dealing with lust vs love. The feelings of lust are developed for the satisfaction of what you see and feel on the surface level which may involve body parts, fantasy, pleasure, seduction, and so on. Real love on the other hand goes deeper. It’s a deep affection that makes you vulnerable and real to your partner.
- Sudden Engagement vs Deep Commitment: Under love vs lust, the feeling of love typically makes for a long term relationship. If you are deeply in love with someone, you are committed to meeting the needs of such a person. Lust on the other hand is short and sudden and never lasts for a long time, unlike love. Sometimes, it may take just a night to get over it.
- Diminishment Vs Growth: The feelings of lust diminishes with time because it’s built on an intense desire that doesn’t last for a long time. It’s controlled by your physical connection and pleasure. Love on the other hand increases with time. The bond and attachment between you helsp to build a long term relationship.
- About you Vs About Them: This is an important point to consider when dealing with the difference between lust and love. Under lust vs love, the feelings of love involve thinking about what you can offer other people or make their lives better. It’s not about you but them. Lust on the other hand is about you. What you have to gain from lust is to satisfy your sexual desire.
Is lust stronger than love?
You should understand the difference between love and lust. This will give you a clear thought of which one is stronger.
Lust is not stronger than love. It’s a temporary sexual desire that may lead to love. Love is a powerful force that pulls two individuals into a relationship. Helen Fisher, the author of “Why We Love,” empirically showed from research that love involves distinctive neural mechanisms that are different from sexual attraction.
From studies in brain-scans, love is explained as a sensation that activates some parts of the human brain with high receptors for dopamine (a chemical in charge of euphoria, addiction, and motivation). You don’t feel deeply hurt after a breakup when your relationship is rooted in lust. But in love relationships, it affects your mental health or your well-being.
What causes lust?
Lust is a feeling of strong desire which is driven by sexual arousal. It has been shown that lust can be induced when there is no deep attachment or obsessive attraction between two individuals. Lust can be triggered when you focus on someone’s body or looks, have a strong sexual connection with someone, live in your fantasy, have an interest only in the consummation of your feelings, and are only interested to be a lover than best friends.
Can lust be confused with love?
If you are not so careful, there is a possibility that you will confuse lust with love. You meet people every day. For some, you have this chemistry that you can’t really tell if it’s borne out of love or lust. It’s pertinent to understand such a condition and not to confuse sexual connection for real love. The following are tips that indicate that you are confusing lust for love:
- All you want is Sex: If the whole essence of you being attracted to such a person is to have a taste of what they’re like between the sheets, then your feeling is not well defined as love. This may be triggered by looks or the person’s body.
- You have little knowledge of who such a person is: If you claim to love someone you are meeting for the first time, or not more than a handful of times (physically or on social media), then you are wrong. Love is a sensation that is nurtured and that takes a long time.
- Casual Hookups: if you’re deeply in love with someone, you will wish to see such a person every second if it’s possible. However (even on social media), lust is characterized by a sexual attraction that may involve seeing each other casually.
- You Have Only Physical Connection: Under love vs lust, love is seen as an emotional connection, while lust is regarded as a physical connection. So, if are only connected to such a person at the physical level, then that’s not love but lust. You are deeply in love when you make moves that indicate that you are really interested in the relationship. These may involve deep and meaningful talks to get substantial things about such a person.
- The excitement in a New Relationship: It is normal to feel excited when you enter a new relationship with someone. You will always be eager to call or text, especially on social media, or get messages from your partner. This excitement should not be taken as love because the feelings will later wear off and diminish with time.
How long does lust typically last?
Lust is an intense sexual desire that dissipates over time. It is short-lived and does not last for a very long time, unlike real love. Lust can be described as an agent that helps bring together two people inducing a deep physical connection. In addition, lust is stimulated by projecting or idealizing what you wish to see which does not stay for long.
What does being in love feel like?
Everyone can fall in love. You don’t need any love doctor to tell you that you’re in love. It’s a powerful experience that brings out your inner beauty. When you are head over heels in love with someone, you tend to have a special sense of responsibility and are committed to the cause of making your partner happy every day. So, how does being in love really feel if you are to discuss real feelings?
- Being in Love Feels Unique: Love is a powerful sensation that means different things to different individuals. But what brings everyone together is that love is experienced uniquely. It’s an interesting experience that ignites the feeling of excitement and sometimes jealousy over things you may have overlooked.
- When you are in love, you tend to feel as if you are experiencing several different emotions under the banner of love.
- Being in Love feels like intense sensations of joy: When you are head over heels with someone, it feels like you are being struck by happy emotions that are overwhelming and make you think in a way different from others. Dopamine, a chemical in the brain makes this possible. Love occupies your mind with fantasy and makes you daydream sometimes. By obsessively thinking about such a person, you will always wish to see your partner all the time, and you may check their social media postings too.
- Being in Love offers a sense of peacefulness: When you’re in love, you feel happy with your partner. You feel positive, empowered, peaceful, and confident any time you’re around such a person. All these will last as long as you’re in love.
Does love at first sight exist?
Love at first sight is an instantaneous attraction that occurs when romantic love is stimulated by certain electrical and chemical pathways in the brain. It’s a sensation that occurs instantly in men and women as a basic drive that attract them to other people.
If love at first sight does exist, how will you know?
- You will feel uneasy at the first meeting: It’s just like every other emotion. It feels like butterflies in the stomach upon seeing the person you’re attracted to. Love at first sight is a physical sensation that is influenced by a strong gut-brain connection.
- Inordinate Curiosity: Love at first sight makes you curious and prompts you to know everything about someone. Your curiosity is borne out of a genuine fascination that leads to the creation of intimacy and closeness with such a person.
- Maintaining eye contact: The moment you’re into someone, the connection between you and that person may lead to frequent locking of the eyes. This is a sign of flirting When you are attracted to someone, it’s natural for you to look at them frequently. This will make you feel like you are in love.
- Such a Person will Look Familiar to You: Love at first sight makes you feel like someone you are meeting for the first time already knows you. The physical connection that you have with such a person will make you relax and feel comfortable as if you have been together for a long time.
- You Find Everything about Such a Person Pleasing: One of the indicators of love at first sight is that you will tend to overlook the mannerisms of a person you’ve just met.
How do you know you have chemistry with someone?
Chemistry is referred to as a mutual attraction between two individuals. You don’t need a love doctor or special medication to feel chemistry. It serves as the bedrock of every relationship. You can easily tell that you have chemistry even before any physical intimacy takes place. It’s also possible to feel chemistry with someone you connect with on social media.
The following are ways to know you have chemistry with someone:
- Maintaining Eye Contact and Being Physically Drawn Toward a Person: When chemistry is mutual, it will make you lock eyes with them frequently. Also, you will feel like something is pulling you toward them.
- Maintaining Physical/Romantic Touch: When you feel chemistry with someone, you will always want to put your hands around them in a romantic way when sitting side by side. Romantic touch is a sign of chemistry.
- You’re Always Interested In What The Other Person Says: This mostly is accompanied by angling your body which indicates that you’re passionately interested in what is being said. You may lean in and maintain a romantic touch with the person when sitting side by side.
- Flirty Conversation With Lots of Laughter: The chemistry you have will make flirting feel natural to you. When you are around them, you will feel free to express yourself in a flirtatious manner and it won’t be awkward. You may crack jokes and laugh together in the early stages of your romantic relationship, especially when the person is your best friend.
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