How Important Is Intimacy In Marriage?

Updated December 20, 2018

Reviewer Tanya Harell

Marriage can be a very satisfying experience when two people are on the same page. It can also be very difficult when you are having problems with your partner. You want to be able to make sure that your marriage is strong enough to stand the test of time. For your relationship to continue to flourish over the years, it's important to be intimate with your partner regularly.

What Is Intimacy?


Before digging into this issue too deeply, it is important to understand that intimacy and sex aren't necessarily the same thing. Often, people wind up using the terms intimacy and sex interchangeably. This isn't quite accurate, as it is possible to be intimate without being sexual. Conversely, you can have a great sexual relationship with your partner without being intimate.

Intimacy is about being open with your partner and not being afraid to be vulnerable. The term intimacy with regard to your marriage is more about being close to your partner. Some people love each other very deeply but still have trouble connecting on an intimate level. This can be due to one person in the marriage having problems with letting other people too close, as they might be shy in certain ways.

Feeling Comfortable Around Your Partner No Matter What

If you want to be truly intimate with your spouse, then you need to be able to feel comfortable around them. When you are too afraid to be yourself when you're around somebody really, it will wind up preventing you from deepening your connection. Most people are self-conscious about certain things. It is perfectly normal to be afraid of how others perceive you, but if your marriage is strong enough, you can wind up feeling incredibly comfortable around your spouse.

You may have been afraid to let your spouse see you without your makeup during the beginning of a relationship, and over time you changed how you felt about that. Once a relationship grows into something deeper, you start to feel less afraid to reveal your flaws to your spouse. You might even find out that the things that you perceive as flaws wind up being positive attributes to your significant other. Relationships evolve, and they turn into beautiful parts of your life that help to define who you are.

Being comfortable enough to do anything around your partner is great. An example of this is comfortable enough to use the restroom while your partner is also in the bathroom. A couple that is deeply intimate on an emotional level will be very comfortable with showing their body around each other. You become used to the fact that you aren't always going to look your best and being around one another in all situations will feel natural.

Some couples are so intimate that they take baths and showers together. Other people need a little more physical space but are completely comfortable with their partners on an emotional level. The important thing is that you make each other feel comfortable. To make life as happy as it can be, you need to feel natural living together.

If one of the people in a marriage has a problem feeling comfortable around the other, then this issue needs to be addressed. People with anxiety problems and body image issues will sometimes have more trouble being comfortable with their spouses. A spouse can help their partner by being encouraging and ensuring that they feel loved. It is possible that professional help could be beneficial to help them deal with their negative body image issues.

Communication Matters


You want your marriage to feel like a true partnership. Ensuring that you are always there for your partner during both their good days and their tumultuous times is essential. When you have a good level of intimacy with your partner, it won't feel difficult for you to talk with them about sensitive subjects. The stereotype behind these types of intimacy issues is that men have trouble communicating openly and honestly, but this affects all genders.

Sometimes people have trouble communicating with their spouses on an intimate level. They may feel embarrassed to say certain things because they don't want to let their partner down. You want your spouse to feel so comfortable that they will be able to open up to you about anything. If they feel inadequate in some way, then it would be healthy for them to be able to talk about it rather than stuffing those feels deep down inside.

When you have a solid marriage, it should be easy for you to feel like you can rely on your spouse for anything. If you come home after having a rough day at work, you should be able to talk about it and be close enough not to feel ashamed even if you did something wrong. It can be a beautiful thing to know that someone has your back no matter what.

Communication isn't always so easy, though. There are times when one person in the relationship feels like they can't communicate how they are feeling effectively. Many relationships have this problem when two people with opposite personality types get married. If your partner is incredibly outgoing and boisterous, then sometimes your more subdued personality may have a hard time keeping up.

This can negatively impact intimacy and make you feel like you're always a few steps behind your spouse. In this situation, the spouse with the more outgoing personality needs to recognize where their partner is at and try to meet their partner's energy level. Learning to communicate and always to ensure that your partner is comfortable is a part of becoming more intimately connected. Some people need to seek out professional advice to effectively communicate, but it is something that you can become better at over time.

Sex Is Also Important


Now that we have established that intimacy is about more than sex, we can address the elephant in the room. Yes, sex is very important when it comes to cultivating a healthy marriage. You don't want your entire relationship to be predicated on sex, but it can help you to connect and deepen your bond with your spouse. Regular sex can help you to maintain your happiness and is an excellent way to show affection.

A healthy sex life can do wonders for a marriage. Having regular sex and continuing to please one another will lead to a better overall relationship in most cases. When both people in a marriage are satisfied both sexually and emotionally, it helps everything else to fall into place. Taking care of the kids seems a lot easier when you have special time with your spouse planned out.

Sex also helps because it shows that you are still very sexually attracted to your partner. Once people have been married for a few years, they may start to worry that the freshness of the relationship has worn off. If you have had children, then you might be worried that your figure isn't the same as it was when you first got together. You could be concerned that your dad bod isn't appealing to your partner as well.

Showing your spouse that you love them and that you desire them is great for your marriage. It will help you to stay together and to work towards your common goals as a couple. There are times when one or both people in marriage will have sexual problems, though. Sometimes your sex life may not be what you want, and other times anxiety issues may be preventing you from fully embracing sexual intimacy with your partner.

In these situations, you need to try to fix the problems before they negatively impact your marriage. A good marriage should be stronger than just sex, but it can be tough for your partner not to feel loved in this way. Getting professional help with sexual intimacy issues is possible. If you are uncomfortable with sex in general, then talking with a knowledgeable therapist could help you to fix many of your problems.

How Can You Fix Intimacy Issues?


There are a few different ways that you can attempt to fix intimacy issues. The first way is to try to work on them yourself. You could try to recognize the intimacy problems that you are having and see if you can fix them on your own. This will involve proper communication with your spouse and the ability to recognize areas where you can improve.

Sometimes it can be tough to have success with fixing intimacy problems without a third-party. Seeking out professional help is often the most efficient way to solve intimacy problems. When one person in a marriage has problems with intimacy, it can make the other feel inadequate. If both people have their separate problems, then significant work needs to be done to fix everything.

A professional therapist can talk about your issues with you and give you good advice. They will be able to see things from a different perspective than you can. Their ability to analyze the situation from afar will prove to be useful. You can take their advice into account and try to apply it to your marriage to improve the situation.

Getting Professional Help Can Be Beneficial

Seeking professional help can be beneficial. If you are having trouble connecting with your partner intimately, then it might be helpful to try to change. You want your partner to feel loved and respected inside of your relationship. To help to meet their needs, you can learn to be more intimate both emotionally and physically.

To get help with intimacy problems in your marriage, you can reach out to Skilled therapists will be able to chat with you about your problems, and you can get help in a very simple way. Signing up is easy, and you'll be able to make use of a wealth of information. Learning new ways that you can connect with your partner intimately will be able to help you improve your marriage and resolve some of the intimacy issues that have been bothering you.


Intimacy is crucial when you want to have a healthy marriage. If you feel like you are distant from your partner, then your marriage isn't going to function as well as you would like. Luckily, it is possible to improve the situation over time. Even if you aren't as close as you would like to be right now, you can learn to become more intimate and work towards a happy future together.

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