Love is a difficult thing to define. If you ask ten people what the definition of love is, you will probably receive ten different answers. Each person has their own understanding of love, and we all put our twist on what love is. While love does not look the same to all people, there are some characteristics of love that are hard to deny.
Is it possible that there's a forever love out there for you, that nothing can change? Many people spend their whole lives searching for this forever love. It makes them unhappy in their current relationships because they're always wondering if there's someone better out there. This kind of love does exist, but not the way you might think.
The country singer Reba McEntire has a song called “Forever Love.” In the it, she sings, "Love is the road to our destiny / Nothing can change what is meant to be / Forever love." That makes for great song lyrics, but is forever love a thing?
What Does It Mean To Be In Love
One of the best definitions of love is found in the Bible in 1st Corinthians 13. It says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres." Who wouldn't want a love like this?
When you fall in love with someone, these are the characteristics that define your relationship. You are kind to the person, patient with them. You do not envy them, and you are not boastful about yourself. You focus on meeting the needs of the other person instead of focusing on your own needs being met. And, you are willing to forgive them when they do wrong, and you are not happy when they are hurting.
When you love someone, you look to protect them.You trust them, and you are always hopeful in your relationship. But, most importantly according to these verses, love always perseveres. That means when these other character traits are in place, there is a forever love.
What Does Forever Love Look Like?
Forever love does not look like a perfect relationship. Forever love does not mean that you don't face obstacles and challenges as a couple. It does not mean that you never argue or that things are always going smoothly. However, it means that you do not give up even during the difficult times. You understand that every relationship will have hiccups and bumps along the way, but it is your job to persevere through them because you love the other person enough to endure the difficult times.
Forever love is more than the passionate stage of love when you don't see the each other’s faults, and you feel like everything is right with the world. Forever love is unconditional. You don't withhold love when things are not going your way because you love that person so much you are unable to do that. And, even in the times when you feel tempted to, you choose not to.
How Do You Get Forever Love?
Forever love is not something that you can just go out and obtain or find it in the street. It is not something that you will experience during the first moments of knowing someone. It is not to be mistaken with "love at first sight," which is more of a physical attraction. Forever love is built
over time. It is only obtainable when you have made a conscious decision to stay in a relationship no matter what. It is when your relationship has a strong bond of trust, and you know that you are determined to continue loving that person no matter what.
The only way to reach the point of forever love is to go through the stages of love. Your relationship begins in the stage where everything is new, exciting, and seems good. Then, you move to the stage of committing to one another and building a life together. Next, you overcome the stage of challenges. It is at this stage that many people give up on the relationship and turn their back on love. This is the place where many divorces happen because the couple finds they "just don't love each other anymore." This is a mistake because it is only after moving past this stage that you will have forever love. If you always bail on relationships instead of persevering to overcome this stage, you will never find forever love.
It is at this point that you have decided that love is a choice and you are going to choose to love this person for the rest of your life. You know they are not perfect, but you don't care. You no longer love them because of what they do for you and because you think they are "perfect." Instead, you are choosing to love them despite their shortcomings. Forever love is not something that is found or stumbled upon, it is something that you choose.
Why Your First Love Isn't Necessarily Your Forever Love
There are many articles online that try to say that your first love never ends. That even though most of these relationships do not continue that the love never dies. However, it is rare that these first loves are relationships that work through all the stages of love to reach the point of forever love. Instead, many of these relationships are remembered so positively because they are never fully moved past the first stage. The memories are filled with all the positive emotion and attraction but were never built on anything that had sustainability over time.
Forever Love Doesn't Come Easy
If anyone tells you that relationships are easy, they are lying to you. Romance and relationships are hard. To stand the test of time, you have to be willing to go through the challenges of life together. Some obstacles are easy to overcome together, and others are not. Occasionally, it is also helpful to have the assistance of a professional. There is nothing wrong with having the help of a therapist. Through couples counseling or one-on-one sessions, a therapist, whether through an online counseling
platform or in person, can help you achieve the forever love you are looking for.
How BetterHelp Can Help You
The relationship strategies, tips, and advice that professionals can provide you will help you reach the phase of love that you are looking for. They can help you sort through those difficult times and remain together, instead of divorcing as many couples do. If you are ready to experience a relationship with a forever love but continue to struggle to get there, contact a professional at BetterHelp
.These online professionals can meet with you anywhere and at a time that fits best for you. Below, you’ll find a couple of counselor reviews from people experiencing relationship issues.
“We went into couples counseling not knowing what to expect but hoping for the best. While it took a few sessions to get acclimated to the experience we soon found that Heather made us feel at ease about the process and helped us dive into some of the things we were struggling with. Over several weeks my boyfriend and I have been invested in this process and following Heather's advice as well as reflecting on her insights. We are communicating so much better and have been able to avoid frequent, trivial arguments and spend more time connecting, listening, and working through conflicts. I highly recommend Heather to other couples who may be working through similar issues.”
“Carolyn has been extremely helpful in helping me to deal with self esteem and relationship issues. She is a great listener and provides thoughtful suggestions and guidance. I was put at ease from the first session and was able to work through a very anxious period with her supporting me along the way.”
Building Forever Love
If you want to find that forever love that lasts a lifetime, it requires grit and determination. But don't think that is all work and no fun. While experiencing forever love comes down to personal choice, there is also a lot of emotion involved in the process. As your relationship grows and matures you experience love in new ways. You won't need to go out to fancy dinners, dancing, or the movies all the time. You will be happy just sitting at home with the other person watching Netflix, or simply being in the same room with each other. There is a level of comfort and trust that can only be built when the relationship has lasted. And, once you have this forever love, it is not something you can just throw away without a care.
If you want to develop that forever love with your significant other focus on the following areas.
- Find activities that you enjoy together.
- Use open and honest communication. Forever love cannot be built on lies.
- Stay focused on the things that attract you to the other person.
- Forgive easily and remember that you will need to be forgiven as well.
- Focus on their strengths and look to assist in their weakness.
- Put them before yourself.
- Always be kind.
If we go back to that Bible verse describing love from the beginning, those are the characteristics that you want to strive to have in your relationships. If you do follow those things, you cannot go wrong. Forever love does not come easy, but it is well worth working toward. Remember that it's not something that you are just going to stumble upon, but you might just stumble upon the person that makes you want to work towards reaching forever love.
If you believe that you have found that person, then do what you can to stand the test of time to experience your relationship mature through the different stages of love. When you have done just that you will find that you have reached the other side with a deep, trusting, and comfortable forever love.