When “Cute Love” Wears Off, What’s Next?

During the cute love stage, you may feel as though this is the greatest love you’ve ever imagined. You may focus on the things you have in common, begin to build a relationship, and start to get to know each other on a deeper level. Neurochemicals are usually flowing into our brains during the puppy love phase, which can make us feel good – and potentially lead us to overlook possible compatibility issues. This can be the stage that many people associate with love. However, relationships rarely stay in the cute love or puppy love stage forever.

Generally, this puppy love stage can last anywhere from two months to two years. Once your relationship is nearing the end of this stage, however, the initial feelings can start to wear off. When that happens, you may begin noticing flaws in the other person or realize you read them wrong in the beginning. The little quirks and things you used to think were "cute" may suddenly become annoying. During this post-puppy love stage, many people wonder if they have made a mistake and sometimes question if it’s really the right relationship for them.

At this point, it may be time to either end the relationship and look for love somewhere else or move past the cute love stage and continue forward, flaws and all.  

Breaking up

Deciding to break up when cute love wears off can be both easy and difficult, depending on your relationship. It can be easy because you may have yet to form a committed relationship with the other person. Your relationship may not have yet stood the test of time, and you may not have had to overcome any major obstacles together. This usually makes it much easier to separate.

If you have only been together for a couple of months, it can be much easier than if you have been together for a few years. 

Another difficult factor can be if you want to break up, but your partner wants to stay together. You may look at them as just a friend at this point, but they may still love you. Chances are, even if you are ready to end the relationship, you may not yet be in a place where you want to hurt the other person's feelings, potentially making this an awkward and difficult conversation to have.

Once you break up, you may find love somewhere else. However, the potential problem is that every relationship may go through the same cute love stage, and if you continue to end the relationship every time this phase is over, you may never find a long-lasting relationship. True love can usually only be reached when you have moved past the puppy love stage and committed to the other person.

This doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't break up with the person you are with if you are past the puppy love stage. You should generally only move forward with someone with whom you can commit to working through difficult situations and exercising healthy communication and boundaries. If you realize that your current partner is not that person, then it is often better to end the relationship, instead of building a committed relationship only to have it end later.

Sticking together in love

When you reach the point of moving past cute love and decide that you want to stick it out with the other person, the hard work may begin. This need not be a bad thing, but it's likely something you need to be realistic about. When your relationship progresses from puppy love to the next stage, you may need to have a new level of commitment and determination in your interactions. This can be the point when your relationship may face difficulties and obstacles, even if it's just that the initial fun and attraction of the relationship has worn off. However, if you're willing to put the work into the relationship, this is often when you can start to move toward a relationship that may stand the test of time. Here are some recommendations for growing a relationship past the stages of cute love or puppy love and into a deep, fulfilling, and healthy relationship.