Ways to Show Your Spouse Your Love

Updated December 9, 2022by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Many people love their spouses, but they may not know how to express this. Most people might invest time, energy, and money into winning someone over. But, once there is a committed relationship, they may slowly start to ease up on demonstrating their love. It may be human nature to take the people closest to us for granted. However, people often thrive on assurances that they are loved. If you want to nurture and enhance your relationship, it can be incredibly important to continue to communicate this to your partner. 

What follows are some simple suggestions for demonstrating your continued connection and affection.

Romantic Gestures

Are You Having Difficulties Expressing Love?

  • Buy them flowers or jewelry. Don’t just get your spouse roses because you’re not sure what else to get. Find out what their favorite flowers are and buy them a bouquet of them. Pay attention to the jewelry they wear, and anything they linger over when the two of you are out. Pay attention to your partner’s needs and likes. For example, don’t buy them flowers or jewelry if they would rather have power tools.

  • Surprise them with a dance. If you pull them to you, put on a slow song, and dance with them, you will likely have them swooning just like when you first met.

  • Write them a love letter. This is simple, but it can work. Just communicate your honest feelings and use specific examples instead of generic statements. “I love that you are so joyful, like the other day when I saw you looking out the window at the birds and smiling,” is better than, “You are so beautiful.”

  • Re-create the first date that you went on.

  • Dream about the future together. When you talk about plans together, it can show that you are still thinking of a future with them.

Surprise Them

A little surprise can go a long way when it comes to love and romance. Planning a surprise could be just the thing you need to do.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • If you have children, arrange for babysitting and plan an entire night out. Take them to their favorite restaurant. Surprise them with all of it and don’t let them plan one single part of it.

  • Do some of the housework without them having to ask. It can be incredibly sexy to someone when their spouse steps in and helps without being asked.

  • Contact a friend of their to help plan a friends’ night out or send them out with their friends to enjoy some time together.

  • Take your spouse away for a weekend to a romantic location. Surprise them on the day that you leave.

  • Bring their favorite take-out home for dinner as a surprise. Better yet, if they usually cook, make dinner for them one evening.

  • Fill their car up with gas, take it through the wash, and vacuum it out.

Do What They Want To Do

  • Encourage them to pursue their dreams. Find out exactly what their big dreams or goals are, and then support them as they research the steps they need to take to start pursuing them. Encourage them every step of the way.

  • Go shopping with them. Even if it’s the last thing that you want to do.

  • Enter their world, and participate in the activities that interest them. This may be through a class, or an activity, or just through social connections with others.

Physical Ways To Show Love Using Touch

If you want to communicate love for your spouse, then learn how they like to be touched, in intimate and affectionate ways. Many people love things like hugs, forehead kisses, and back rubs. However, you aren’t going to know unless you ask, or start figuring it out through trial and error. Once you know what their favorite thing is, show how much you love them by doing it.

  • Give them a back rub.

  • Rub their feet.

  • Focus on their intimate pleasure as much as your own.

  • Pay for them to get a massage, pedicure, or manicure. Or really go all out and treat them to an entire day at the spa.

  • Kiss them like you used to.

Just Say It

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to creatively communicate our love, that we forget to say the words. Letting your spouse know that you love them can be as simple as telling them.

  • Say how much you love them when others are present. It can make your spouse feel extra-special when you don’t just tell them you love them, but you communicate it to family and friends as well.

  • Leave them romantics notes around the house, or in their car.

  • Give them compliments. Tell them how great they look, what a hard worker they are, and how much you appreciate them.

  • Tell them what first made you fall in love with them, and then follow it up with what you continue to love about them.

Communicating Your Love To Others

Are You Having Difficulties Expressing Love?

One of the best ways to show your spouse that you love them can be to set healthy and clear boundaries for your relationship. Having a trusting relationship can strengthen love for both partners. Another way to demonstrate that you love your spouse is often with your own family. If you want to show your spouse how much you love them, communicate clear and appropriate boundaries with your family.


If you find that you are struggling when it comes to showing your spouse how much you love them, there might be underlying issues. It could be something from experience in your childhood or a previous relationship that did not end well. It can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what the reason is, but it might be important to find out and work through. BetterHelp has licensed therapists who can work with you to help you improve your relationship.

Other Commonly Asked Questions

How do I make my wife feel loved again?

What can I say to make my wife feel special?

How can a husband show love to his wife?

How do you show your wife you value her?

What makes a wife feel loved?

What does a wife need from her husband?

How do I show my wife I care?

How should a good husband treat his wife?

How do I spoil my wife?

How do you tell if your wife really loves you?

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