Finding New Love

Medically reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
Updated April 24, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Many people feel fulfilled in their life outside of romantic relationships. They might have a career that they find rewarding or hobbies that take up their leisure time. But some people may feel that a partner is missing in their lives, someone with whom they can discuss experiences and achievements. While you do not necessarily need a romantic partner to complete your life, many people find that level of companionship adds a layer of comfort and fulfillment that they enjoy and appreciate.

If this is where you are, then you might have reached the point where you're ready to try and find new love. 

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New and renewed interest in love

Being in love and maintaining romantic relationships is good for the brain and for your overall sense of purpose. As a result, those who have an abundance of love in their lives tend to be happier. That being said, if you do not currently have anyone special in your life, then you might fall into one of two categories: people who have never loved anyone in this way before and those who have loved and lost.

You might have dated someone at some point, and things didn't work out. Maybe you dated several people and never found the right partner. It could also be that you had a longer, more committed relationship with someone that ended in you going your separate ways, or it could be that someone you love passed away.

If you're in any of those situations, and now you find yourself alone, there is no shame in it. Many people live alone during part or all of their adult life and are fully capable of finding fulfillment and joy in this arrangement. Even if you don't have a spouse or partner, you may have a support network of individuals with whom you can impart your life. 

Alternatively, you may not have fallen in love at all before for a variety of reasons. It could be as simple as the right person never having come along, or maybe you weren't looking for love, and were instead focused on academic life or your career. For many people, close friendships and fulfilling goals is more than enough. It could be only now that you've reached a point in your life where you'd like to have romantic companionship.

Getty/Jordi Salas

No matter what situation you find yourself in, it can be important to remember that there are all kinds of people in the world.

Witnessing different types of relationships and their unique challenges doesn't necessarily mean that something similar is going to happen to you. Likewise, being new to the world of romance and dating doesn’t have to mean feeling unprepared or a lack of confidence. Understanding and feeling firm in yourself as well as your reasons for wanting to find new love can help you get started.

How to find that new love

Regardless of when you find your new romantic prospect, once they're in your life and you've fallen for them, you might be amazed by how fresh and exciting the world seems. If you've gone through the sensations before, the giddiness and the feelings of longing when you're away from that person, then you might know what love entails. For the individual who has never been in love before, this feeling can be even more special because this can be your first foray into this arena. You may want to be with the person at all times, and you'll likely enjoy getting to know them and all of their quirks and eccentricities. 

Once you’ve decided to enter the dating scene, it can be challenging trying to figure out how to locate that special someone. 

The internet can make finding someone near or far who tunes in with your passions and goals for life much more reachable. The process of finding love through dating apps and online services is more prevalent than ever. There are dozens of dating apps out there, and many are targeted toward a specific demographic. It’s likely that no matter what you're looking for or that you find most appealing, you'll be able to find a dating site or app for it, if you so choose.

When meeting with someone for the first time, make sure you take some precautions: always meet in a public place, and tell someone about the date as well. Trust your instincts when meeting a person from the internet for the first time. If anything seems off about them, you can always excuse yourself, and you need no longer have any contact with them. Usually, though, these sorts of situations are few and far between.

If online dating just really isn’t for you, there are also more traditional means of finding a partner. 

  • You can try to meet someone at a bar or a singles event. You might also choose to ask your friends and family if they know of anyone who they feel might be a good fit for you. 
  • You can ask someone out who you know from work, or it might be that person who always smiles at you while you're on the treadmill at the gym. 
  • If you're in school, you can ask someone out with whom you seem to show some interests.

The only word of caution in this area is that if you're asking someone out from work or school, you should be aware that if things don't work out, there might be challenges— like having to see them frequently after the relationship has ended— to consider. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue someone who you’re interested in, but be aware of how certain relationships might affect other areas of your life as you try to find a long-term partner.

Remember that rejection is a normal part of putting yourself out there. If someone is not interested, respect their answer and move on to someone new. 

Need support while navigating new romantic relationships?

Online therapy for those looking for love

Finding a new love isn’t always easy. Sometimes, the help and advice of a licensed therapist can make the process more uplifting. An online therapist can provide insight into developing healthy, lasting romantic relationships right from the comfort of your own home. If you want to speak to a mental health professional to get some advice on your love life, you can do so through BetterHelp.

Studies show that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person therapy when it comes to managing mental health concerns. Even if mental health isn’t on your mind, major life changes like finding a new love can cause a lot of stress, feelings of confusion or self-doubt, and even loneliness. An online therapist can help you feel the confidence you’ll likely need to not only find someone to love, but to learn to love yourself, too. 


A new love may not be the solution to all your problems in life, but it can be a change that boosts your happiness and helps you develop a stronger sense of purpose. With so many ways to find love, it can be easier than ever to locate someone who will treat you with respect and compassion. And with the support of an online therapist, you can become well-equipped to handle anything that the world of dating throws at you.
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