Losing Your Mind In Love: Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason

Medically reviewed by Arianna Williams, LPC, CCTP
Updated March 14, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Falling in love is often regarded as one of life’s greatest joys. While developing feelings for a new crush or romantic partner can feel fun and exciting, it can simultaneously feel overwhelming for some. 

If you are new to love, or have a tendency to fall hard and fast when it comes to new romantic interests, feelings of love might make you feel like you are essentially losing your mind. There are a few reasons love might feel overwhelming; with the possibility of some being related to underlying mental health conditions.

In this article we will explore the reasons why falling in love might feel like losing your mind, and what you can do to stay grounded. 

Are You Losing Your Mind In Love? Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason. Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason
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Love and chemicals

It is not uncommon to feel a rush of emotion upon meeting someone you feel highly attracted to. While that particular rush can feel like magic, there is a scientific reason behind it. Studies show that those initial romantic connections typically cause your brain to release a chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin, commonly known as “the love chemical” is a naturally occurring hormone related to social function and sexual health. 

The release of oxytocin typically accounts for common social beliefs such as love at first sight. This release also has the potential to jumpstart those overwhelming or especially intense feelings. During these moments of intensity, it can be helpful to remember that your feelings could simply be the result of an oxytocin release and do not necessarily reflect your true feelings or mean you are in love.

If you are someone who tends to experience feelings of overwhelm or obsession frequently when it comes to romantic connections, there is a possibility that these are underlying symptoms of a mental health condition. In these cases, you may want to consider consulting a doctor, therapist, or mental health professional. 

Obsessive love vs. healthy love

While obsessive love disorder (OLD) is not currently recognized by the DSM-5 as a formal diagnosis or disorder, it is believed to present as a symptom of other mental illnesses including borderline personality disorder (BPD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or certain attachment disorders. 

While healthy love typically moves at a slow and steady pace, a medically reviewed article published by Greatist in February 2021 describes what obsessive love tends to look like. 

Though symptoms may vary, signs of obsessive love disorder include:

  • An overwhelming or debilitating attraction to a person
  • Obsessive thoughts about the person
  • Overtly possessive thoughts and actions
  • Extreme feelings of jealousy over other interpersonal interactions
  • Quickly or repeatedly falling in “love” with new partners, acquaintances, or strangers
  • Refusal to respect boundaries or accept rejection
  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Suicidal ideations

People experiencing symptoms of obsessive love disorder often find it extremely difficult to accept rejection. This could potentially lead to a number of problematic behaviors including: 

  • Incessant texts, calls, or attempts to contact the person of interest
  • A constant need for reassurance
  • Difficulty maintaining friendships or contact with family due to obsession over the person
  • Constant monitoring of the person’s actions, personal life and social media 
  • Attempting to control the person’s activities and friendships 

Living with symptoms of obsessive love disorder can be extremely challenging. If feelings of falling in love tend to bring about any of the symptoms listed above, it may be beneficial to reach out to a therapist or mental health professional. 

Additionally, if you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts, reach out for help immediately. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be reached at 988, and is available 24/7.

Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason. Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason

Past trauma and anxious attachment style

Other possible reasons for feeling like you are losing your mind in love could tie back to past relationship-related traumas, particularly those that occurred during childhood. Studies show that adults who did not get their needs met, either physically or emotionally, during early childhood tend to develop an anxious attachment style

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

An anxious or insecure attachment style is typically characterized by a general fear of abandonment and difficulty feeling safe in relationships. In most cases, the attachment style you form with your parents or caregivers in childhood will carry over into adulthood and present in romantic relationships. 

If you are unsure of how to identify your own attachment style, typically a therapist can be helpful in providing insight and understanding. 

How to stay grounded in love

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the idea that you are falling in love, it may be helpful to take a step back and try to evaluate the situation. If you have just met a person, you may be developing a crush, but this does not necessarily mean you are in love. 

If you continue to feel overwhelmed by feelings of love, there are a few things you can try to ground yourself:

  • Take a break from the person you are interested in; pause communication or take some time away 
  • Write about how you are feeling in a diary or journal 
  • Spend time with close friends or relatives 
  • Engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy 
  • Speak with a therapist or counselor 

While it is not uncommon to feel slightly overwhelmed or excited when falling in love, feeling like you are losing your mind could be a sign of a deeper issue. Typically, a therapist or mental health professional will be best equipped to guide you in grounding. 

Sense, Logic, And Seeing Reason

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Benefits of online therapy

Due to the intensity and challenging nature of feeling like you are losing your mind in love, the best course of action may come in the form of speaking with a therapist. Since the onset of these feelings tends to be sudden and unexpected, it is possible that getting an online therapist may be more readily available than typical in-person therapy options. 

Additionally, online therapy may be helpful in the process of seeking a diagnosis for one of the many mental health conditions that could contribute or lead to symptoms of an obsessive love disorder. 

According to research, online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is proven to be equally as effective as in-person therapy in regards to reducing the symptoms of certain mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety, and others. 

Takeaway

If the introduction of a new romantic interest has you feeling like you are losing your mind, it is typically best to briefly remove yourself from the situation if possible. Taking a step back and slowing the pace of your feelings can potentially be beneficial not only to you but to your person of interest as well. 

If frequent or overwhelming feelings of love are leading to stress or other challenges in your life, typically it is best to reach out to a therapist or mental health professional for guidance.

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