Your Brain In Love: Neurotransmitters And Their Effects
Neurotransmitters, chemical messengers in the brain, influence complex behaviors and emotions. These messengers impact human life in a variety of ways, with some neurotransmitters defining what we know as love (especially oxytocin, testosterone, and dopamine.) Oxytocin, the "cuddle hormone," fosters social bonding, while testosterone affects sexual desire. Dopamine, prevalent in sexual attraction, early love, and long-term relationships, interacts with the brain's reward system. Other neurotransmitters, such as norepinephrine and vasopressin, can also have important roles in romance and courtship. The processes of love and desire can profoundly impact various brain areas, shaping our experiences and affecting how we form relationships.
What are neurotransmitters?
To know more about what happens in your brain when you are falling in love, you may benefit from understanding neurotransmitters and brain areas involved in emotions.
Neurotransmitters have physiological jobs, such as starting, stopping, accelerating, or slowing down different bodily functions, and play a notable role in emotions like romantic love. At times, you may notice that your body feels emotions too, not just your mind.
Neurotransmitters are released by nerve cells to convey nerve impulses, occurring throughout the nervous system and brain. In the brain, special cells called "receptors" receive neurotransmitters. However, neurotransmitters don't always remain in the brain; the body may gradually reabsorb them, especially if there's a shortage of receptors or if receptors are damaged.
Many medications for mental health conditions, including clinical depression and negative emotions, work by preventing the body from reabsorbing neurotransmitters before your brain can use them. However, not all mental health medications function this way.
Your brain in love: Assorted hormones
The terms "neurotransmitters" and "hormones" are often used interchangeably, and both can be considered messenger molecules, playing roles in human sexual activity and love. The levels of messenger molecules like serotonin and dopamine, as well as sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen, may be stable and predictable at some points in our lives. However, as our bodies change and develop, primarily during puberty and aging, we often experience changing sex hormones, dopamine levels, and serotonin levels.
Sometimes, hormonal changes can lead to physical and mental health conditions. These can include:
- Low libido
- Premenstrual syndrome
- Premenstrual dysphoric disorder
- Postpartum depression
- Challenges surrounding menopause
- Other potential hormonal problems related to sexual arousal and attraction
Often, these conditions can be addressed by healthcare and mental health professionals.
Your brain in love: Oxytocin
Oxytocin is one of the better-known messenger molecules when it comes to love. Sometimes called the "cuddle chemical” or “love hormone”, oxytocin is released in significant amounts during close physical contact with others, fostering social relationships and pair bonding, although that's not the only time it's present.
The chemical oxytocin can produce feelings of calmness and contentedness, which is why you may feel "warm and safe" when in a loved one's arms.
Oxytocin, with a key difference in its roles, plays a prominent part in many types of romantic love, including in long-term non-monogamous and monogamous relationships. In addition, this hormone is also involved in platonic and familial love. It is crucial for forming bonds and creating a sense of trust among various types of relationships.
One of the roles of oxytocin in romantic love is the stimulation of another love-inducing hormone called testosterone, which influences sexual attraction and social behavior.
Your brain in love: Testosterone and sexual desire
Testosterone is often referenced as a male sex hormone. However, people of all sexes may have some level of testosterone. Testosterone can affect the human sex drive and contribute to sperm production, so it may have a link to fertility.
Libido can vary due to many factors, such as sexuality, attraction levels, and medications. Testosterone levels may also have something to do with it in some individuals.
Sex drive can also decrease for those experiencing depression. As a result, a lack of libido can be a symptom of depression, and getting mental health treatment can contribute to an improved sex drive. However, you do not have to have a sex drive to be considered healthy. Some individuals, such as those who identify as asexual, may not experience sexual attraction or sex drive at all.
Your brain in love: Dopamine
Human brains are generally triggered to reward us with pleasure via the hormone dopamine. In simple terms, dopamine makes us feel good. It engages the emotional systems and nucleus accumbens when we do things that preserve our own lives or promote the well-being of the species. These activities may include eating certain foods, having sex, or participating in social interaction. Using social media may result in the release of dopamine, as well.
You may experience a burst of dopamine during sex, which is part of what can make it so enjoyable. Dopamine is often associated with both attraction and romantic relationships, which is why a loving relationship (especially in the early stages) may feel exciting, fun, and joyful.
Online therapy can address negative emotions and increase your understanding of love
For some people, understanding the biology of emotions, including amygdala activity and the role of the frontal cortex, can be helpful. However, knowing which love neurotransmitters and hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin play a role in love isn’t always enough. In many cases, you’ll need professional assistance in order to solve the challenges that may come with the initial phase of love and long-term relationships.
Speaking with a licensed therapist online, either individually or with romantic partners, can be very helpful for this. Many therapists have extensive knowledge of the physiology of love and the reward system, and online therapy may provide valuable insights and advice to help you tackle problems and employ healthy coping skills.
Research suggests that online therapy can help address relationship challenges and may be as effective (or more effective) as in-person therapy. A 2020 study revealed that couples found online therapy to directly benefit their relationships, despite their initial doubts about the potential efficacy of working with a couples therapist online. Additional studies have proven the efficacy of online therapy for individuals as well.
Through an online platform such as BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples, you may be able to get focused attention and support from a wide variety of specialists. You’re not alone.
Read below for counselor reviews from previous users of online therapy who have reached out for help with their relationships.
Counselor reviews
“Lorena and I worked together, and then my partner joined in with the therapy later on along the process. That transition to couples therapy offered by Lorena was so appreciated, she ensured reliability, dependability, and openness were consistent. Lorena created a safe space for us to talk whilst keeping in place effective challenges to some of the topics and discussions brought to a session; she was always receptive to our needs and was encouraging. We are feeling confident about the progress made and would say this is a credit to her as our therapist. Recommended. Thank you so very much!”
“Fredrick has been helping through a breakup. We’ve been processing my abandonment trauma and I feel much better. Therapy is helping me process this break up we’re also working on my emotional maturity so I can be a better partner for future relationships.”
Takeaway
The neurotransmitters oxytocin, testosterone, and dopamine can play roles in romantic relationships and love, each with a key difference in their function. Oxytocin is often released during physical affection, such as hugging or cuddling, and testosterone can affect sex drive. Dopamine can be involved in both romantic love and attraction.
As Shakespeare once wrote, "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." Online therapy may be an effective way of learning more about love and how to navigate it healthily, whether you'd like to attend sessions individually or with your significant other.
How do neurotransmitters affect love?
Neurotransmitters are crucial for feelings of love, lust, affection, and attachment. They are the chemicals that allow your brain to create emotions, guide thoughts, and direct behavior. Oxytocin, dopamine, and testosterone are just a few of the neurotransmitters that affect love. The sex hormones testosterone and estrogen contribute heavily to feelings of lust and physical attraction. Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are all necessary for romantic attraction. Oxytocin and vasopressin are needed for feelings of attachment.
Without those neurotransmitters, love can’t happen. Neurotransmitters are necessary for every feeling, thought, or action in human life. Love and other complex emotions are still being investigated from a neuroendocrinological perspective, but there is no doubt that neurotransmitters play a crucial role.
Is love dopamine or oxytocin?
Both dopamine and oxytocin play a role in love, although they are associated with different types of love. Oxytocin is primarily associated with attachment. It is sometimes called the “bonding hormone” or “love hormone.” Although oxytocin is frequently associated with romantic love, it is also involved in other types of love, like attachment to family or friends.
Dopamine is primarily associated with romantic attraction. It is a major component of the brain’s reward system, being released when a person does something that feels good. In romantic relationships, dopamine is often produced when spending time with a partner, engaging in intimacy, or receiving validation from a partner.
Is dopamine released when in love?
Dopamine is a common neurotransmitter with several functions, including love. Dopamine is a prominent neurotransmitter in the brain’s reward system. The reward system releases dopamine when a person engages in behavior that feels good. When released, dopamine makes certain behaviors more likely to occur again. In love, dopamine and the reward system form a behavioral reinforcement system that promotes loving behaviors, commitment, and intimacy.
The more a person engages in behaviors that produce dopamine, the more likely they are to engage in those behaviors again. In a romantic relationship, this might include spending time with a partner, engaging in the same activities, or being physically intimate.
What happens to serotonin in love?
Serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with appetite and mood, has also been associated with feelings of love, most notably romantic attraction. Serotonin is associated with feelings of desire to be near a partner and may contribute to short- and long-term feelings of attachment.
Serotonin’s role in love is not as well understood as some other neurotransmitters, and its role may differ for men and women. Research suggests that, for women, serotonin levels increase when in love. For men, serotonin levels decrease. One study found that participants who were in love reported thinking obsessively about their partner during 65% of their waking hours. However, in women, obsessive thinking was associated with increased serotonin levels; in men, it was associated with lowered serotonin.
What hormones are released when in love?
Many hormones are released during love, but a few of the most significant are listed below:
- Testosterone is the “male” sex hormone associated with love and physical affection. In both men and women, testosterone is associated with lust and sexual arousal.
- Estrogen is the “female” sex hormone that plays a similar role to testosterone. Although estrogen is not as strongly associated with arousal as testosterone, it likely plays a role in sexual arousal in women.
- Dopamine is a reward chemical that reinforces the behaviors and thoughts associated with love. It is released when a person does something that feels good, like spending time with a partner.
- Norepinephrine is released during attraction and provides a boost of energy and euphoria.
- Serotonin is associated with romantic love, but the connection is not well understood. Researchers theorize that serotonin is associated with thinking obsessively about a partner and a strong drive to be near them.
- Oxytocin, sometimes called the “bonding hormone,” is strongly associated with close interpersonal relationships. It is not only associated with romantic love but also with the love that one feels for family and friends.
What triggers love?
Love often begins when dopamine levels begin to rise in the brain in response to a potential romantic partner. This is the “crush” stage of falling in love. The brain responds positively to thoughts of a romantic relationship with the object of affection, increasing euphoria and desire. People in the early stages of falling in love may idealize their potential partner or fantasize extensively about a potential relationship.
Chemically, the rise of dopamine likely signals the start of love, but the process is not guaranteed to finish. Social and logistic factors also play a role, and pursuing a romantic relationship is often impossible. Stopping the chemical process of love before it progresses can often lead to the characteristic negative thoughts and feelings associated with “getting over” a crush.
Is serotonin a love hormone?
Serotonin is associated with romantic love, but its role is still poorly understood. Scientists theorize that serotonin is associated with thinking obsessively about a potential partner and wanting to be near them. Men and women likely have different responses to serotonin while in love. When experiencing feelings of love, serotonin tends to drop in men and rise in women.
Serotonin also likely interacts with oxytocin to help reduce activity in the amygdala, which lowers anxiety and contributes to the “warm fuzzies” associated with romantic love. Increased serotonin levels are also associated with a happier mood, which may let positive, loving feelings occur more easily.
What is oxytocin in love?
Oxytocin is primarily associated with attachment. It is not unique to romantic love; oxytocin is also responsible for feelings of attachment to friends and family. Oxytocin facilitates bonding, lowering anxiety and increasing peaceful feelings caused by the proximity to a loved one. Its production is especially prominent during affectionate contact, such as hugs, cuddling, or sex.
Oxytocin is likely necessary for producing the bonds necessary for long-term love. Warm feelings of attachment also reinforce other areas of love, like romantic attraction, which is why a strong interpersonal connection is considered essential for lasting love. In the brain, oxytocin is a powerful bonding chemical that helps bolster love’s more volatile aspects.
How does the brain fall in love?
Dr. Helen Fischer, a researcher who studies the neuroscience of love, has developed a three-part model describing how neurochemistry causes the brain to fall in love. However, it is important to note that love is different for everybody. The environment influences love; many external factors can derail the neurochemical process.
Dr. Fischer’s model is described below:
- Lust. Lust, or a strong feeling of physical attraction, is often the first type of love that appears when someone falls for another person. Lust is primarily a mating reflex, driven in most people by a strong desire to reproduce. Although lust is often an early sign of a crush or developing love, it can sometimes come later in a loving relationship, such as when two longstanding friends move their relationship from platonic to romantic. The sex hormones testosterone and estrogen contribute strongly to lust.
- Attraction. Romantic attraction is separate from physical attraction, which is better described by lust. It is defined as a strong desire to be with someone, engage in common activities, and bond emotionally. The brain’s reward circuit releases dopamine to reinforce attraction-promoting behaviors. Serotonin levels also change, leading to increased thoughts and desires regarding a potential romantic partner.
- Attachment. Attachment generally develops last, after two romantic partners have had a chance to bond. It is directed primarily by oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin isn’t unique to romantic relationships; it is also found in loving connections between friends and family.
Love likely serves an evolutionary purpose that is initiated through the neurochemical processes described above. Love tends to drive monogamous relationships, which are long-term relationships between two partners. Most mammals are not monogamous, but some, like prairie voles, show similar monogamous behavior to humans. Voles have many of the same genes associated with love that humans do, indicating that falling in love may be an evolved neurological function designed to promote the human species.
Does falling in love lower serotonin?
Research suggests that changes in serotonin levels can increase obsessive thinking about a romantic partner and the desire to be near them. This effect is present in both men and women, but serotonin seems to play different roles in each sex. In men, serotonin levels drop when falling in love, but in women, serotonin levels rise. Scientists are still investigating serotonin's role in love and how it may differ between men and women.
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