10 Tips For Managing Your Mental Health While Coping With Divorce

Having a marriage end in divorce can affect your mental health. Even if you believe that getting divorced was for the best, it doesn’t mean that you can’t be upset about the separation. Mourning your marriage and moving through the grief process can be common after divorce, and you may need time to process the situation. Divorce can also come with additional challenges, related to finances, extended family, and co-parenting. 

Coping with divorce is possible, and support is available. Below, discover 10 divorce coping tips to help you through this challenging time. Learn how therapy can help you embrace the next chapter of your new life.

Exploring evidence-based tips for navigating divorce

When going through a divorce, managing your emotions can be challenging, but keep in mind that there is hope on the other side. The following tips for managing divorce can help you move forward in your new life rather than remaining stuck in the past. You may decide to try all 10 tips, or you could make use of a few that best apply to your next chapter.

You may experience many negative feelings throughout the stages of divorce. In the beginning, you may find solace by simply acknowledging your feelings. Sitting with your emotions without fighting them can be beneficial as you move through various stages of the healing process. 

Try not to overanalyze as you work through this process, and accept your feelings without judgment. Crying can also release stress and emotional pain, as opposed to repressive coping, in which people bottle up feelings. Consider writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal to keep track of them and notice how they change over time. You may notice that emotions come and go, only lasting for a limited time. This may help you reframe your mindset and take things moment by moment.

While divorce can be difficult for parents, it may be even more so for kids. If you have kids with your ex-partner, make efforts to support them during this time. Kids don’t always understand terms like separation and divorce, so offer age-appropriate explanations and help them feel safe by providing emotional support while you’re transitioning into a new chapter as a family. You can do so by being honest about the process of divorce and answering any questions they may have. Spending time with friends, family, and loved ones can provide kids with some level of consistency during this time of change.

Kids may experience emotions like guilt, anger, or anxiety during this time. They might also start to struggle in school or act out at home. Helping them process their strong emotions and finding them professional help if necessary can also promote your own well-being. You might consider seeing a family therapist together to provide your children with the tools to process their feelings and understand the changes to your family dynamic. Although you may have negative feelings toward your former spouse, you may need to cooperate with them to provide the best possible care to your kids. 

Having your ex-partner’s belongings around the home may be upsetting to you during this difficult time. Managing the divorce and the grieving process may be easier if there aren’t constant reminders of your former partner in the house. While personal finances can play a role in the feasibility of this tip, many people find it helpful to purchase new belongings that don’t have any ties to the marriage. For example, you may decide to replace the couch that you bought for your first home together. It’s natural if you can’t let go right away. Give yourself plenty of time and take steps as you feel comfortable with them. Effective coping skills like self-care, exercise, and journaling can be healthy ways to manage difficult emotions during this time.

4. Spend time with friends

Having support groups of friends may help you move forward during a divorce. Spending time with friends can get your mind off of the separation and create opportunities for fun. , both during the divorce process and after. If you and your former spouse had many friends in common, this may be the time to start making new friends or to spend more time with trusted family members.

It may be helpful to step away from social media during this time. As most people tend to post the positive aspects of their lives online, seeing constant highlight reels may lead you to feel worse about your current situation. Frequently viewing your ex’s social media profiles may also harm your mental health.

Often, the negative emotions associated with divorce can lead you to withdraw from friends and family. In some cases, this could be a sign of depression. You may not always want to socialize and engage in fun activities, but social interaction can go a long way in improving your physical and mental health. Reach out to a mental health professional if your patterns of withdrawal are getting in the way of your relationships.

5. Surround yourself with family

Leaning on family members can be crucial when moving through your own experience of separation or divorce. Some people might need to stay with family while divorce mediation and negotiations are underway, and you may decide to use this time to ask for support and assistance. Having a support group that loves you in your corner can help you feel seen and heard in an otherwise stressful time. Family members can offer a listening ear and helpful tips while you work through your emotions surrounding the divorce, and they can also help with practical tasks on your list, like moving your belongings.

Hobbies can be an effective way to reduce divorce stress. New interests or previously enjoyed hobbies can be helpful for overall mental health. Take time to consider what types of hobbies interest you the most and research classes or groups you can take part in.

Some people may decide to learn a musical instrument, while others might be more interested in playing games, crafting, or competing in sports. It can be a bad idea to dwell on how you could’ve made the marriage work or spend time thinking about the worst thing that happened during the marriage. Rather than ruminating over the past, enjoying hobbies and activities can help you move forward. You may also meet new people who have similar interests to you and can become a part of your community.  

Hobbies and new interests can also help you establish a new schedule or structure for daily life. While it may take some time after divorce to return to “normal,” weekly routines can be of benefit while you process difficult emotions and manage stress. According to Mental Health America, maintaining your normal routines as much as possible can be beneficial during this time.

Exercise tends to be vital for overall physical health, and research attests that it has a myriad of mental health benefits, too. Try to spend time moving each day, as it can benefit you both in the present and in the long run.

Exercise can provide you with more energy and boost your mood due to the release of endorphins.  Exercise can look different for everyone post-divorce. You might participate in light activities like yoga, walking, or gardening. Or you may choose to do more vigorous exercises like sprinting, swimming, or hiking. Aim to get at least 30 minutes of exercise per day to stay healthy and reap the maximum benefits. If you re-energize with exercise, this may not only benefit your overall health but also allow you to more easily manage stress. Joining a running club or attending exercise classes regularly can also foster new friendships and a sense of community.

8. Consider religion or spirituality

For many people, religion and spirituality can help them find solace in their own lives. Religious or spiritual people may want to seek guidance from faith leaders in their communities. For those who aren’t religious, turning to a mentor for advice may be a suitable alternative. Seeking counsel from a religious figure or mentor may help you center yourself during the intricacies of divorce. You may find that your religious community serves as a support group during this period of life as a single person.

9. Explore the dating scene

While it may be a while before you are ready for love again, dating may be something you desire in the future. Following a divorce, you may find yourself at the stage where you look forward to connecting with someone romantically again. Consider what you’re looking for in future relationships and how you can grow from your previous relationship. You may decide to embrace casual dating instead of looking for a serious romantic relationship right away. It’s also possible to meet someone with whom you’re compatible in the early stages of your separation. 

There are many ways to find other singles, such as through online dating apps or meeting people through friends or family. Be sure to embark on this experience at your own pace and when you’re ready, remembering that a new relationship may not feel exactly the same as your previous one. There’s no need to rush into a new relationship, and you’ll often experience more success and healthiness with a new partner when you give yourself enough time to heal. 

10. Seek therapy

Divorce can turn your world upside down and involve many emotional stages that can be difficult to navigate on your own. Seeking therapy can be beneficial when you’re experiencing challenges during and after a divorce. A therapist can help you work through your emotions while teaching you coping skills to use when you feel sad, confused, upset, or angry. If you’re having trouble managing on your own, or if you sense that your self-esteem is at a less than optimal level, reach out to a professional who can offer you support and remind you that there is hope on the other side.

Coping with divorce when you share children

Co-parenting during and after divorce can present a variety of difficulties. Below are a few tips:

• Try to avoid arguing in front of the kids.
• Don’t speak negatively to your children about their other parent, regardless of whether they are small children, teenagers, or adults.
• Don’t involve the children in parental conflict, use them to mine information on the other parent, confide in them as you would a friend, or ask them for advice.
• Collaborate with your co-parent to establish rules and boundaries for co-parenting.
• Follow joint custody schedules and any legal guidelines.
• During one-on-one time with the kids, try to maintain stability and a regular schedule.
• Seek professional support to learn how to best support your children and cope with your own emotions.

Supporting children through divorce

Divorce can be a monumental change for adults, and it can be even more significant for children, who typically have far less control over the situation. Not only can divorce affect young children, but it can also impact adult children. Family life and family traditions usually change with divorce, and this can be hard for all members of the family. Here are some strategies to consider as you support your children through divorce:

• Make it clear to your children that the divorce is not their fault.
• Respect their feelings, even when they’re hard for you to hear or understand. Encourage your children to be honest about the way they feel about the situation without becoming defensive.
• If your child begins to act out or displays regressive behavior, consider finding a counselor for them to talk to.
• Maintain as much regularity and structure as possible in daily life.
• Model calm behavior and healthy coping techniques.
• Ask your child’s school counselor if there are any resources available for children whose parents are going through divorce.
• Seek support for yourself, whether that’s turning to loved ones or a mental health professional.

What research shows about divorce stress and recovery

Psychological science research shows that divorcees usually report higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and social isolation. Predictors of better mental health among divorcees include being the initiator of the divorce, experiencing lower levels of divorce conflict, and having a higher income. While individuals don’t necessarily have control over these factors, they can choose healthy ways to manage stress and challenging emotions after divorce. 

A study from 2024 noted that a lack of exercise, being overweight, and heavy alcohol consumption tended to increase the risk for post-divorce health concerns. This can underscore the importance of employing healthy coping strategies, rather than falling back on unhealthy behaviors like substance misuse to manage long-term stress.

Logistics that can affect emotional recovery

Divorce doesn’t just mark the end of a marriage–it can also mean changes to a person’s finances, social life, housing situation, and more. All of these logistics can have significant effects on an individual’s emotional state, bringing up questions like, “Where will I live?”, “What kind of lifestyle can I afford?”, and “Will my current job be enough to make ends meet without my ex-spouse’s income?” 

A person’s age can also play a role, as younger individuals may have less of a financial security net in place and older individuals may be more likely to live with health concerns that could impact finances, employment, and other aspects of life. During the post-divorce stage, individuals may believe that they only have a limited time to “figure everything out.” This can make it seem even more challenging to move forward. Turning to a support network to talk out the practical aspects of divorce can make the situation seem more manageable.

Rebuilding your social life and identity post-divorce

Social support tends to be crucial during and after divorce. Maintaining strong social ties with loved ones, as well as building new friendships, can make a significant difference in your mental health as you move forward with the next chapter of your new life. Rebuilding your identity is often easier when surrounded by people who care about you, as their support can give you the confidence to explore who you are and what you enjoy.

Navigating contact with an ex-spouse

After a divorce, it can be challenging to know how much contact with an ex-spouse is appropriate. It may be helpful to have a conversation about boundaries and guidelines. In general, communication should be brief, clear, and respectful as each of you moves forward with your own lives.

If you have children together, some level of regular communication will likely be required. Outside of this situation, however, it may be ideal not to reach out unless necessary, even if you experience a desire to speak to your ex in the moment. If your marriage was abusive or otherwise harmful, cutting contact altogether could be beneficial. Speaking to a therapist about how to navigate the situation can provide you with personalized guidance.

Preparing for future relationships

You may not feel ready for another romantic relationship for months or years, but it may be worth considering the characteristics you’d like any future relationships to have. This can empower you to learn from your marriage and any other past relationships and think about what you believe you need in order to make a marriage work.

Try to resist any pressure you may experience to jump into a new relationship and wait until the time seems right to you. Each person has their own timeline, and some may eventually remarry while others may prefer to stay single or engage in casual relationships. All options are valid, and the most important thing may be to pay attention to your own needs and desires.

Therapy after divorce 

Connecting with a licensed mental health professional can give you a healthy outlet for thoughts and emotions you may not feel comfortable sharing with others. Your therapist can provide emotional support and offer helpful tips specific to your situation. If you’re living with any underlying mental health conditions, they can also give evidence-based treatment for symptom relief.

Online therapy for coping with a divorce

Internet-based therapy can come with many perks, including increased availability, as users can attend sessions from the convenience of home or another preferred location. Plus, it’s typically more affordable than traditional counseling. You can connect with a therapist who specializes in helping clients through divorce via BetterHelp, an online therapy platform. A BetterHelp subscription also comes with additional features, such as journal prompts, a virtual habit tracker, weekly support groups, and educational classes. 

Online therapy can be a viable treatment option for a variety of concerns, whether faced by individuals or couples. According to a study published by the American Psychological Association (APA, sometimes referred to as the American Psychologist Association), online therapeutic interventions can help with mental health challenges related to divorce. Participants who received online therapy typically experienced reductions in anxiety, depression, and somatization, showing the potential efficacy of online therapy after separation.