10 Tips For Coping With Divorce
Updated August 27, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Tonia Cassaday
Having a marriage end in divorce is something that can really get to you. You loved your spouse and you originally intended to be together for the rest of your lives. However, divorce is fairly common in modern times and sometimes marriages just don’t work out. You likely know that getting divorced was for the best, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t feel sad about what has happened. It’s normal to mourn for your marriage and you might need time to process everything that has happened. Coping with divorce is going to be easier if you approach things the right way, though.
Take a look at the following ten tips for coping with divorce. This should allow you to move forward in life instead of feeling like you’re stuck living in the past. After reading through these coping tips, you should be able to start making use of them rather easily. You might want to try all of them or you could make use of just a few that you think will apply the best to your life. Either way, you’re going to be able to get through this trying time and you’ll finally feel like better days are ahead.
- Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first thing that you should do is take the time to acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to not be okay right now. If you just recently got divorced or if you’re currently separated, then things might be too fresh to think about moving on. You need to let yourself feel how you’re going to feel. It’s fine to cry if you feel like you need to and it’s okay to be confused. Most people aren’t going to know how to react in a situation like this and you’ll start to feel a bit better in a few days once you’ve thought things through in all likelihood.
Some people struggle with getting divorced because they won’t acknowledge their feelings. If you wall off your emotions, then you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. Separation and divorce are difficult subjects to want to think about, but this is something that you can’t avoid. Be honest with yourself and don’t think that you have to put on a front for everybody else in your life. People will understand if you’re emotional or upset during a time like this.
- Take Care of Your Kids
If you have kids with your ex-spouse, then it’s important to do everything that you can to take care of them. You never wanted your kids to have divorced parents, but that’s just how things turned out. Kids don’t always understand terms like separation and divorce. It’s going to be up to you to make them feel safe while you’re transitioning into whatever the new normal for your relationship is going to be. In most cases, some type of joint custody works out nicely and you’ll be able to keep being a good parent to your kids even after your divorce is finalized. Divorced parents don’t necessarily have to be enemies and you need to be cordial to one another for the kids.
- Get Rid of Your Ex-Spouse’s Stuff
Having a bunch of your ex-spouse’s stuff sitting around your home isn’t going to be positive. You should do what you need to do to get rid of your ex-spouse’s belongings. Coping with divorce isn’t going to be easy if you have constant reminders sitting around your home. Call your ex up and ask them to come to get their stuff as soon as they’re able to. Otherwise, it’s going to be prudent to get rid of these belongings so long as you have given them enough time to come to claim them.
Sometimes even just having old items that you used to share in your home can be problematic. There are individuals who find it healthy to just start over and get new stuff. This could mean changing out your furniture and getting new decorations. It’s a new chapter of your life and you want to feel like you’re having a fresh start. Definitely get rid of your old marital bed and consider whether you can afford to get rid of more stuff. If this doesn’t bother you, then this coping tip might not be necessary for your situation.
- Spend Time with Friends
Spending time with friends can help you to get your mind off of separation and divorce. You need support when you’re going through complex issues like divorce mediation and divorce negotiations. These can be tough times and coping with things won’t be simple if you don’t have a solid support system. You need people who care about you and who are willing to help you feel better when you’re down low. Go out and have fun with people that you care about when it’s possible to do so. You might not always be able to go out and do fun things due to life responsibilities, but a little bit of social time can go a long way.
- Surround Yourself with Family
Family is going to be crucial when you’re dealing with separation and divorce, too. You can count on your family to help you get through whatever problems you’re going through. Some people might need to stay with family while divorce mediation and divorce negotiations are going on. You can feel vulnerable when you’re going through times like this. Having people who love you in your corner will help you to realize that everything is going to be okay. You will be able to get through this situation as long as you have the right support in place.
- Hobbies Can Help
Hobbies are excellent for those who are looking to take their minds off separation and divorce. You’ll be able to spend time doing things that you like doing and you won’t feel nearly as frazzled. Having hobbies will be healthy for you and you should try to consider what types of hobbies interest you. Some people will love learning to play a musical instrument and others might be more interested in playing games, arts & crafts, and sports. Pick a good hobby and try to dedicate some time to it for the good of your emotional health.
Exercising is going to be fantastic for you, too. You need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself and exercising is going to be a huge part of the equation. Take time out of your day to get a bit of exercise. This will give you more energy and it’ll help you to feel happier in a natural way. Exercise can be a type of natural antidepressant for many people and you’ll also be able to boost your self-confidence by working on your fitness goals.
- Religion Helps Some People
Religion can also help certain individuals to find solace. You might be confused about where to go next in your life and this is where religion can come into play. People who are religious might want to seek guidance from faith leaders in the community. If you aren’t religious, then turn to a mentor for advice would be a suitable alternative. You can help to center yourself if you are willing to listen to advice from people who care about your well-being.
- Start Dating Again
Have you thought about moving on and finding someone new? Depending on how long you have been divorced, this will either be a great idea or a bad one. You shouldn’t try to jump into another relationship before you’re ready. However, it is going to be good to move on and find someone nice once you’re feeling up to it. Starting to love again is an excellent way to leave the past behind. You can find a satisfying relationship and you might even be able to find a spouse in the future that will be a better match for you overall.
It might be best to try to start casually dating instead of looking for something serious right away, of course. There are many ways to meet other singles such as online dating or meeting people through friends. Consider actively seeking dates when you start to feel like you’re over your ex-spouse. For many people, this is going to be the final step for coping with separation and divorce.
- Seek Therapy
Seeking therapy is a smart idea when you’re having problems getting over your divorce completely. Coping with divorce isn’t always going to be simple when you really loved someone. You might be shocked that your marriage ended in divorce, but it’s time to move forward with the help of others. A therapist can help you work through your emotions while giving you various coping mechanisms to use when you’re feeling down. They help people who are going through situations like this regularly and you can reach out to a therapist today if you’re ready.
You might even find that online therapy is going to be a preferable option. Some people seek out online therapy from respected sources such as BetterHelp. You’ll be able to speak to a therapist at your convenience and you’ll find that it’s very affordable, too. This is a great alternative to in-person therapy that is going to appeal to many different people. Both options are great and having help that you can count on during a tumultuous time in your life is going to be imperative. Please don’t wait to contact a therapist if you know that you could use some advice about how to move on with your life.