My Husband Ignores Me: How Can I Get His Attention?

Updated December 07, 2018
Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers


When you feel all alone in a marriage, life can seem lonely and unfair. After all, you chose to be with this person. You liked who they were and wanted to share time with them. It stands to reason that you expect attention from him throughout your lives. The first step to healing the relationship is to find out why you're in this situation that makes you say, "My husband ignores me."

How Is His Hearing?

Often, relationships that were once vibrant become lackluster as the two people get older. Sometimes, it's because they lose interest in each other. But, other times, it is a result of physical problems that neither of you are aware of. Has your husband has his hearing checked recently? Hearing examinations are important as we age, but they're also crucial if you work in a noisy environment or have had multiple ear infections. Before you assume your husband doesn't want to hear what you're saying, consider the possibility that he simply can't hear you.

Do Something Unexpected


As relationships progress, the two people typically settle into familiar patterns. When someone says or does the same things every day, it can begin to feel unnecessary to pay attention to them. This is especially true if what you're saying over and over is a criticism. Surprise your husband by sharing something you've never shared before. If he's still not listening, do something he can physically see that is a complete departure from your usual behavior. Do something fun and spontaneous that expresses who you are as a person.

"I've Tried, But Still My Husband Ignores Me"


Perhaps you've tried countless ways to get your husband's attention. He's still lost in his own little world and doesn't seem to care what you do or say. If that's true, it's time to start thinking of how to live without his attention. Take a self-development course, get a new, more interesting job, spend time with others, start going to the gym to workout every day. As you build your life for you, what happens may be surprising. You may find that as you grow more independent and take more interest in things other than him, he suddenly starts taking an interest.

Consider Getting Professional Support

Being with a person who doesn't seem to care what you do or say can make you feel both lonely and worthless. Talking to a licensed therapist can help you make changes that will help. Along the way, you'll learn how to take care of yourself. The emotional support alone makes seeing a therapist well worth your time and effort.

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