Marriage Counseling Techniques For A Healthy Relationship
While marital issues are not mental health conditions themselves, marital conflict and the ensuing stress can lead to health problems such as hypertension, anxiety, and depression. Each of these can lead to other physical or mental health issues. Couples might be more amenable to unhappy marriage therapy if they view it as more of a preventive measure than as a treatment for a problem. Marriage and family therapy helps couples address not only current challenges but also potential future conflicts.
Benefits of marriage counseling
Marriage counseling can offer productive ways for couples to work through the problems that are holding them back. Couples therapy sessions with marriage and family therapists can assist in resolving negative couple interaction patterns and improving relationship satisfaction.
There are several evidence-based therapy techniques that can help couples identify and address areas of tension. By utilizing the best marriage counseling techniques, therapists trained in the Gottman method or Imago relationship therapy can help adult partners to honestly express their feelings, identify childhood experiences that may be impacting their romantic bonding behavior, and create new narrative forms that foster healthy relationships. Seeking family therapy can be particularly helpful for couples struggling to resolve conflict or those who want to address the impact of sexual orientation or medical history on their relationship.
What are the different types of marriage counseling techniques?
With that said, there are several couple counseling techniques that keep this model in mind. Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to individual counseling, there are also multiple approaches to couples therapy sessions.
The Adlerian approach
Alfred Adler was one of the pioneers of individual therapy. He believed that one had to treat the individual as a whole and consider how that person experienced and viewed the world as a unique human being. Adler was quite successful in working with both individuals and couples because of his realization that there were two distinct persons involved in the marriage. The status of a couple implies oneness, but Adler insisted that the individual's needs must come first.
Often, couples might say, "We want to save our marriage." Adler believed that when two people are so intent on saving the marriage, they may lose themselves, possibly generating a great deal of damage. Mental health professionals specializing in emotionally focused therapy and narrative therapy can assist couples in resolving conflicts while also helping to improve relationship satisfaction. In couples therapy sessions, partners can be encouraged to express their feelings honestly and identify how their romantic bonding behavior is impacted by their personal needs. Focused therapy techniques can also be utilized to help couples prioritize their own needs and identities, which can ultimately help to save their adult relationships.
Group counseling for mental health and improved communication
While it is comforting to realize there are others with the same sorts of problems, taking relationship difficulties into a group setting can have one of several impacts. If one says something the other is not comfortable with others knowing, an issue that may not have existed before has now been created. Add this issue to the stack of problems already present, and group settings have the potential to make the situation even worse.
In some cases, this could cause others to feel attacked, which can prevent a healthy couples counseling environment from forming. With other types of issues, group therapy can work quite well. For marriage therapy, strong consideration may want to be given. Of course, every situation is different, and some couples might find that the group setting is exactly what they need.
Therapeutic vs. pragmatic
With the therapeutic model of these counseling approaches, couples therapists treat relationship problems much like they would a mental health issue. In some marriages, this type of couples therapy may set the stage for blaming and labeling.
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Individual therapy can be conducted outside the marriage or couples therapy alliance. However, the couple can discuss how these issues have impacted the marriage when in marriage counseling.
With the pragmatic model therapy style, couples are encouraged to deal with immediate concerns that are causing conflict. These often include the “easy” fixes. This could mean that partners spend more quality time together, learn each other’s love language, or just communicate more effectively so that they can make more informed decisions about the relationship. With the pragmatic approach, there is often a great deal of self-examination on the part of each individual to determine their motives and discover their triggers. After these have been identified, the couple can begin working on solutions to resolve conflict.
Imago marriage counseling
One popular form of couples therapy is the imago method. This type of couples counseling typically helps partners understand the reason behind their behaviors, which researchers believe is related to a person’s childhood. Specifically, a person’s reactions may be related to the relationships they established with parents or caregivers. The couples therapy techniques utilized in this type of counseling may help couples understand each other more, which may lead to more intimacy.
Online marriage and family counselors with BetterHelp
Considering getting individual or couples counseling? Each of these can be a helpful option for moving forward from negative cycles that are leaving you and your partner feeling stuck. It can be difficult to find the time for therapy, particularly if you and your significant other would like to go together. Online therapy can be a viable resource for busy individuals or couples who would like to receive support but don’t have time to commute to a therapist’s office. You can connect with a therapist through BetterHelp, an online counseling platform. You can easily seek couples therapy from the comfort of your own home and all you’ll need to get started in marriage counseling online is a smart device and a reliable internet connection.
Effective marriage counseling online for mental health
Online-based therapy can be beneficial for individuals and couples alike, whether they’re experiencing a mental health disorder or have general concerns about their well-being. One study assessed the efficacy of an online couples therapy intervention delivered through videoconferencing. Participants reported higher relationship satisfaction and researchers concluded that the study “provides evidence for couples therapy via videoconferencing as a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions, especially for those couples who may not have the treatment they require.”
Takeaway
Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked marriage therapy.
What techniques do therapists use?
There are numerous approaches that a couple or marriage counselor might use. It can be important to remember that different modalities will often work for different couples, depending on their areas of concern.
Reflective listening: Marriage counseling techniques
One of the most widely used couples therapy tools is reflective listening, which allows each partner to develop a deeper understanding of the other’s thoughts and emotions. Reflective listening involves paying close attention to the ideas and emotions being expressed by your partner and then crafting a response that conveys your understanding of what they said to you. If partners in a relationship often feel hurt because they don’t think they’re being heard, reflective listening may be a useful solution.
Reconnecting with your partner
Your therapist may suggest that you simply need more one-on-one time so that you can reconnect. During this time, you might ask your partner questions that provoke deeper conversations about the relationship or life in general. Asking questions has been shown to improve social bonds and can help you learn more about your partner.
What is the Gottman method of couples therapy?
Developed by psychologist John Gottman, the Gottman Method for couples therapy is one of the most widely known systems for helping to improve relationship satisfaction.
What are the seven couples therapy principles of the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is based on seven principles, which are meant to help romantic partners’ bonding behavior become stronger. Gottman also identified four negative behavior patterns that frequently lead to relationship conflict and divorce. The Gottman Method has helped many relationships thrive and is considered one of the most effective couples therapy styles available.
What type of couples therapy is best for married couples looking to improve their communication?
There are a variety of different types of couples therapy available for partners to pursue. One popular form of couple’s counseling is imago relationship therapy (IRT), developed by Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., and Harville Hendrix, Ph.d. Imago relationship therapy focuses on how childhood experiences can affect adult relationships later in life. The word imago refers to the “image” of love we develop as children and how we bring that with us into our adult relationships. You likely didn’t realize as a child that your experiences would impact future relationships, but—according to IRT—they did.
Imago relationship therapy
Imago relationship therapy can help each partner in a relationship heal while improving relationship difficulties and helping to build a healthier relationship overall. If you have specific concerns that keep cropping up, imago relationship therapy could be the form of couples therapy that works for you.
Emotionally focused therapy
Another helpful form of couples therapy is emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which, as the name suggests, centers around emotions. Emotionally focused therapy utilizes attachment theory as one of its principles, which can help individuals understand how their interpersonal relationship style affects the marriage. Emotionally focused couples therapy can be helpful for those who are experiencing issues with trust or negative emotions in a relationship. A meta-analysis of peer-reviewed studies showed that EFT improves relationship satisfaction sustainably.
Another option when you want to seek couples therapy is narrative therapy. As it applies to adult relationships, narrative therapy focuses on each partner’s experiences in the world and how the stories they tell regarding those experiences affect the relationship. The process of narrative therapy involves understanding your life in narrative form and how we often only tell a single story about ourselves. Narrative therapy approaches help partners learn how they can change their stories to improve their relationships.
Of course, there are a variety of other tools that can help teach couples how to function more healthily. The method you utilize can depend on the specifics of your relationship, such as sexual orientation, medical history, whether you have children, and more.
Often, licensed therapists who work with couples have a specialty, which could be based on broad categories, like family therapy, or more specific ones, like blended families. Many therapists even give you take-home training materials that you can work through with your partner on your own time.
Finding a marriage therapist
To help ensure that you are working with a professional who can effectively improve your situation, you might consider doing research beforehand. You might also try out several different therapists before choosing one who is right for you.
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