Marriage Counseling Techniques Used By Therapists To Improve Communication
While marital issues are not mental health conditions themselves, marital conflict and the ensuing stress can lead to health problems such as hypertension, anxiety, and depression. Each of these can lead to other physical or mental health issues. Couples might be more amenable to unhappy marriage therapy if they view it as more of a preventive measure than as a treatment for a problem. Marriage and family therapy helps couples address not only current challenges but also potential future conflicts.
Benefits of marriage counseling
Marriage counseling can offer productive ways for couples to work through the problems that are holding them back. Couples therapy sessions with marriage and family therapists can assist in resolving negative couple interaction patterns and improving relationship satisfaction.
There are several evidence-based therapy techniques that can help couples identify and address areas of tension. By utilizing the best marriage counseling techniques, therapists trained in the Gottman method or Imago relationship therapy can help adult partners to honestly express their feelings, identify childhood experiences that may be impacting their romantic bonding behavior, and create new narrative forms that foster healthy relationships. Seeking family therapy can be particularly helpful for couples struggling to resolve conflict or those who want to address the impact of sexual orientation or medical history on their relationship.
What are the different types of marriage counseling techniques?
With that said, there are several couple counseling techniques that keep this model in mind. Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to individual counseling, there are also multiple approaches to couples therapy sessions.
The Adlerian approach
Alfred Adler was one of the pioneers of individual therapy and counseling. He believed that one had to treat the individual as a whole and consider how that person experienced and viewed the world as a unique human being. Adler was quite successful in counseling and working with both individuals and couples because of his realization that there were two distinct persons involved in the marriage. The status of a couple implies oneness, but Adler insisted that the individual's needs must come first.
Often, couples in counseling might say, "We want to save our marriage." Adler believed that when two people are so intent on saving the marriage, they may lose themselves, possibly generating a great deal of damage. Mental health professionals specializing in emotionally focused therapy, narrative therapy, and counseling can assist couples in resolving conflicts while also helping to improve relationship satisfaction. In couples therapy and counseling sessions, partners can be encouraged to express their feelings honestly and identify how their romantic bonding behavior is impacted by their personal needs. Focused therapy and counseling techniques can also be utilized to help couples prioritize their own needs and identities, which can ultimately help to save their adult relationships.
Group counseling for mental health and improved communication
While it is comforting to realize there are others with the same sorts of problems, taking relationship difficulties into a group setting can have one of several impacts. If one says something the other is not comfortable with others knowing, an issue that may not have existed before has now been created. Add this issue to the stack of problems already present, and group settings have the potential to make the situation even worse.
In some cases, this could cause others to feel attacked, which can prevent a healthy couples counseling environment from forming. With other types of issues, group therapy can work quite well. For marriage therapy, strong consideration may want to be given to whether a group setting is the right choice for the couple. Of course, every situation is different, and some couples might find that the group setting is exactly what they need. Others may benefit more from one-on-one or exclusive couples counseling sessions. Ultimately, the best choice depends on what feels most supportive for the couple and their specific challenges.
Therapeutic vs. pragmatic marriage counseling techniques
With the therapeutic model of these counseling approaches, couples therapists treat relationship problems much like they would a mental health issue. In some marriages, this type of couples therapy may set the stage for blaming and labeling.
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Individual therapy can be conducted outside the marriage or couples therapy alliance. However, the couple can discuss how these issues have impacted the marriage when in marriage counseling.
With the pragmatic model therapy style, couples are encouraged to deal with immediate concerns that are causing conflict. These often include the “easy” fixes. This could mean that partners spend more quality time together, learn each other’s love language, or just communicate more effectively so that they can make more informed decisions about the relationship. With the pragmatic approach, there is often a great deal of self-examination on the part of each individual to determine their motives and discover their triggers. After these have been identified, the couple can begin working on solutions to resolve conflict.
Imago marriage counseling
One popular form of couples therapy is the imago method. This type of couples counseling typically helps partners understand the reason behind their behaviors, which researchers believe is related to a person’s childhood. Specifically, a person’s reactions may be related to the relationships they established with parents or caregivers. The couples therapy techniques utilized in this type of counseling may help couples understand each other more, which may lead to more intimacy.
Online marriage and family counselors with BetterHelp
Considering getting individual or couples counseling? Each of these can be a helpful option for moving forward from negative cycles that are leaving you and your partner feeling stuck. It can be difficult to find the time for therapy, particularly if you and your significant other would like to go together. Online therapy can be a viable resource for busy individuals or couples who would like to receive support but don’t have time to commute to a therapist’s office. You can connect with a therapist through BetterHelp, an online counseling and therapy platform. You can easily seek couples therapy from the comfort of your own home, and all you’ll need to get started in marriage counseling online is a smart device and a reliable internet connection.
The cost of online marriage and couples counseling through BetterHelp is typically more affordable than many traditional options. Prices range from $65 to $100 per week, which adds up to approximately $260 to $400 per month. This subscription-based pricing includes weekly live therapy sessions and extensive messaging with a licensed therapist.
Compared to traditional counseling, which can cost $95 to $250 per session, BetterHelp offers a cost-effective solution. Some other platforms might charge $500-$1,000 for multi-session packages or $3,000-$5,000 for intensive programs, but BetterHelp’s flexibility provides an alternative that can suit a variety of budgets.
Effective marriage counseling online for mental health
Online-based therapy can be beneficial for individuals and couples alike, whether they’re experiencing a mental health disorder or have general concerns about their well-being. One study assessed the efficacy of an online couples therapy intervention delivered through videoconferencing. Participants reported higher relationship satisfaction, and researchers concluded that the study “provides evidence for couples therapy via videoconferencing as a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions, especially for those couples who may not have the treatment they require.”
Takeaway
What techniques do therapists use in marriage counseling?
Online-based therapy can be beneficial for individuals and couples alike, whether they’re experiencing a mental health disorder or have general concerns about their well-being. One study assessed the efficacy of an online couples therapy intervention delivered through videoconferencing. Participants reported higher relationship satisfaction, and researchers concluded that the study “provides evidence for couples therapy via videoconferencing as a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions, especially for those couples who may not have the treatment they require.”
- Cognitive behavioral couples therapy
- Behavioral marital therapy
- The Gottman Method couples therapy
- Emotionally focused therapy
- Imago therapy
- Systems theory
- Communication exercises
- Cognitive behavioral couples therapy
- Behavioral marital therapy
- The Gottman Method couples therapy
- Emotionally focused therapy
- Imago therapy
- Systems theory
- Communication exercises
What is the Gottman method of couples therapy?
The Gottman method was developed by husband and wife team Drs. John and Julie Gottman. At the core of this method is the Sound Relationship House Theory, which identifies seven “floors” of a healthy, functional relationship. The Gottman Method also identifies the “Four Horsemen,” which are communication styles that can derail a relationship. These are:
- Criticism
- Defensiveness
- Contempt
- Stonewalling
What are the seven couples therapy principles of the Gottman Method?
According to the Gottman Method’s Sound Relationship House Theory, the 7 couples therapy principles are:
- Build love maps
- Have fondness and admiration
- Turn towards instead of away
- The positive perspective
- Manage conflict
- Make life dreams come true
- Create the same meaning
What type of couples therapy is best for married couples looking to improve their communication?
Many couples therapy experts recommend emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for more productive communication, but there are other options such as the Gottman Method and Imago relationship therapy.
What is the most effective form of couples therapy in the field of mental health?
The most effective couples therapy method can vary from couple to couple and could depend on the specific issues you’re facing. Still, emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, is often recommended since there is currently more research-backed evidence that this method works to support couples in building better relationships. This could change as more research in the field is conducted.
What is the gold standard for couples therapy?
According to the American Psychological Association, emotionally focused therapy is the gold standard for couples therapy. This form of therapy can address a broad spectrum of relationship issues and is evidence-based.
What approach is most common in couples therapy?
There are many approaches a therapist might take in couples therapy based on their specific style of therapy and your individual needs. Common approaches may include focusing on negative patterns of behavior that cause relationship distress and helping couples learn healthier ways of interacting with one another. This might involve introducing couples therapy exercises to teach problem-solving and conflict-management skills.
What are the keys to a happy marriage?
There may be many keys to a happy marriage, and it might depend on the specific couple. Still, many healthy and happy marriages have common features such as:
- Emotional connection
- Respecting differences
- Conflict resolution
- Ability to compromise
- Communication skills
- A sense of commitment
What's the best marriage advice?
The best marriage advice can vary from one couple to the next as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. Popular bits of advice include:
- Spend quality time together to connect on a deeper level.
- Validate your spouse’s feelings.
- Address unresolved conflicts.
- Let go of the past.
How do therapists tailor marriage counseling techniques to individual couples?
No two couples are alike, and good therapists understand that. They adapt counseling techniques to match what each couple needs most. If communication is the issue, they might focus on exercises like active listening or learning to express feelings without judgment. If trust has been broken, sessions could revolve around rebuilding emotional safety with honest, guided conversations. The goal is to meet each couple where they are, making sure the counseling feels personal and helpful. When the approach matches the couple’s unique challenges, the impact of these techniques can be transformative.
Can marriage counseling techniques help couples rebuild trust after infidelity?
Infidelity shakes the foundation of any relationship, but marriage counseling techniques can help couples start fresh. Counseling creates a space where both partners can talk openly without fear of being attacked or dismissed. A therapist might guide them to face the pain head-on, explore the reasons behind the betrayal, and map out ways to restore trust. For example, a couple might agree to become more transparent or work on consistent actions that rebuild confidence over time. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight, but with the right counseling and commitment, couples can move toward healing together.
Are there specific techniques used for couples dealing with parenting conflicts?
Parenting can be tough on relationships, but marriage counseling offers tools to help couples work through these challenges. Therapists often encourage parents to function as a team—agreeing on rules, boundaries, and strategies for their kids. Role-playing conversations can help couples practice responding calmly when conflicts arise. Sometimes, it’s about creating a safe space where each partner can express frustrations without it turning into an argument. These techniques not only improve how couples navigate parenting but also strengthen their bond as partners in life and parenting.
How do communication exercises help couples improve their relationships during marriage counseling?
Talking and being heard can feel miles apart for many couples, which is why communication exercises are such a big part of marriage counseling techniques. One common exercise is active listening—when one partner talks and the other truly listens, repeating back what they heard to make sure they understand. It's not about "winning" an argument but building clarity and trust. Therapists might also encourage using "I feel" statements, like "I feel hurt" instead of "You always hurt me," which lowers defensiveness. Over time, these small shifts in how couples talk can bring them closer and make everyday interactions smoother.
What role does mindfulness play in techniques for couples in marriage counseling?
Mindfulness might seem like a buzzword, but it's incredibly helpful in marriage counseling techniques. It teaches couples to slow down and stay present, even during tough conversations. For example, a therapist might suggest breathing exercises or pauses during arguments so things don't spiral out of control. Mindfulness also helps couples notice the good moments—those times when their partner made them smile or showed kindness. It's not just about fixing problems; it's about building awareness and appreciation. In counseling, mindfulness becomes a tool that keeps relationships grounded, even during life's ups and downs.
Are online or virtual marriage counseling techniques effective for couples?
Absolutely, online marriage counseling techniques can work well for couples. Here are some practical ways therapy can help strengthen relationships through virtual sessions:
- You can join therapy sessions right from your living room, which may make it more comfortable and less stressful for couples.
- With flexible scheduling, online therapy can fit into busy lives, whether it's work, kids, or other commitments.
- Even if there's no local expert nearby, virtual therapy can connect you with qualified professionals who can address your relationship needs.
- Many online therapy programs include resources like exercises and worksheets for couples to work on between sessions.
- Whether it's emotionally focused therapy or the Gottman Method, virtual platforms may offer specialized approaches tailored to your situation.
- Some virtual therapy services let you stay in touch with your therapist between appointments, making progress feel more consistent.
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