Marriage Counseling Techniques
Marriage counseling can be a productive way for couples to work through the problems that are holding them back. While marital issues are not mental health conditions themselves, marital conflict and the ensuing stress can lead to health problems such as hypertension, anxiety, and depression. Each of these can lead to other physical or mental health issues. Couples might be more amenable to marriage therapy if they view it as more of a preventive measure than as a treatment for a problem. With that said, there are several couples counseling techniques that keep this model in mind. Just as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to individual counseling, there is also not one standard way to conduct marriage counseling sessions.
The Adlerian Or Individual Approach
Alfred Adler was one of the pioneers of individual therapy. He believed that one had to treat the individual as a whole and consider how that person experienced and viewed the world as a unique human being. Adler was quite successful in working with both individuals and couples because of his realization that there were two distinct persons involved in the marriage. The status of a couple implies oneness, but Adler insisted that the individual's needs must come first.
Often, couples might say, "We want to save our marriage." Adler believed that when two people are so intent on saving the marriage, they may lose themselves, possibly generating a great deal of damage.
Married Couples Group Therapy
While it is comforting to realize there are others with the same sorts of problems, taking relationship issues into a group setting can have one of several impacts. If one says something the other is not comfortable with others knowing, an issue that may not have existed before has now been created. Add this issue to the stack of problems already present, and group settings have the potential to make the situation even worse.
In some cases, this could cause others to feel attacked, which can prevent a healthy couples counseling environment from forming. With other types of issues, group therapy can work quite well. For marriage therapy, strong consideration may want to be given. Of course, every situation is different, and some couples might find that the group setting is exactly what they need.
Therapeutic Model Vs. Pragmatic
With the therapeutic model, couples therapists treat relationship problems much like they would a mental health issue. In some marriages, this may set the stage for blaming and labeling. Marital conflict can be due to one or both partners having a mental health concern, or substance use/addiction issue; however, these should be treated individually, as separate concerns and separate people. Individual therapy can be conducted outside the marriage or couples therapy alliance. However, the couple can discuss how these issues have impacted the marriage when in marriage counseling.
With the pragmatic model, couples are encouraged to deal with immediate issues that are causing conflict. These often include the “easy” fixes. This could mean that partners spend more quality time together, learn each other’s love language, or just communicate more effectively so that they can make more informed decisions about the relationship. With the pragmatic approach, there is often a great deal of self-examination on the part of each individual to determine their motives and discover their triggers. After these have been identified, the couple can begin working on solutions for conflict resolution.
Online Therapy With BetterHelp
Considering getting individual or couples counseling? Each of these can be a helpful option for moving forward from negative cycles that are leaving you and your partner feeling stuck. It can be difficult to find the time for therapy, particularly if you and your significant other would like to go together. Online therapy can be a viable resource for busy individuals or couples who would still like to receive mental health care and support. You can connect with a therapist through BetterHelp, an online counseling platform. All you’ll need to get started is a smart device and a reliable internet connection.
The Effectiveness Of Online Therapy
Online-based therapy can be beneficial for individuals and couples alike, whether they’re experiencing a mental health disorder or have general concerns about their well-being. One study assessed the efficacy of an online couples therapy intervention delivered through videoconferencing. Participants reported higher relationship satisfaction and researchers concluded that the study “provides evidence for couples therapy via videoconferencing as a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions, especially for those couples who may not have the treatment they require.”
The Takeaway
Marriage counseling can take on many different forms. Since each marriage is comprised of two unique individuals, it can be important for marriage counseling to focus on both people separately as well as together. If you’re experiencing issues in your relationship, an online therapist may be able to help you through the problems you’re facing. Whether you seek therapy on your own or with your spouse, you may find benefits from seeking advice from an unbiased outside source.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What techniques do marriage counselors use?
There are numerous marriage counseling techniques that a couples counselor might use. It can be important to remember that different marriage counseling techniques will often work for different couples, depending on their areas of concern.
One of the most widely used couples therapy techniques is reflective listening, which allows each partner to develop a deeper understanding of the other’s thoughts and emotions. Reflective listening involves paying close attention to the ideas and emotions being expressed by your partner and then crafting a response that conveys your understanding of what they said to you. If partners in a relationship often feel hurt because they don’t think they’re being heard, reflective listening may be a useful solution.
Your therapist may suggest that you simply need more one-on-one time so that you can reconnect. During this time, you might ask your partner questions that provoke deeper conversations about the relationship or life in general. Asking questions has been shown to improve social bonds and can help you learn more about your partner.
What is the Gottman Method of couples therapy?
Developed by psychologist John Gottman, the Gottman Method for couples therapy is one of the most widely known systems for helping to improve relationship satisfaction. The Gottman Method is based on seven principles, which are meant to help romantic partners’ bonding behavior become stronger. Gottman also identified four negative behavior patterns that frequently lead to relationship conflict and divorce. The Gottman Method has helped many relationships thrive and is considered one of the most effective couples therapy techniques available.
What type of therapy is best for married couples?
There are a variety of different types of couples therapy available for partners to pursue. One popular form of couple’s counseling is imago relationship therapy (IRT), developed by Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., and Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Imago relationship therapy focuses on how childhood experiences can affect adult relationships later in life. The word imago refers to the “image” of love we develop as children and how we bring that with us into our adult relationships. You likely didn’t realize as a child that your experiences would impact future relationships, but—according to IRT—they did.
Imago relationship therapy can help each partner in a relationship heal while improving relationship difficulties and helping to build a healthier relationship overall. If you have specific concerns that keep cropping up, imago relationship therapy could be the form of couples therapy that works for you.
Another helpful form of couples therapy is emotionally focused therapy (EFT), which, as the name suggests, centers around emotions. Emotionally focused therapy utilizes attachment theory as one of its principles, which can help individuals understand how their interpersonal relationship style affects the marriage. Emotionally focused couples therapy can be helpful for those who are experiencing issues with trust or negative emotions in a relationship. A meta-analysis of peer-reviewed studies showed that EFT improves relationship satisfaction sustainably.
Another option when you want to seek couples therapy is narrative therapy. As it applies to adult relationships, narrative therapy focuses on each partner’s experiences in the world and how the stories they tell regarding those experiences affect the relationship. The process of narrative therapy involves understanding your life in narrative form and how we often only tell a single story about ourselves. Narrative couples therapy helps partners learn how they can change their story to improve their relationship.
Of course, there are a variety of other marriage counseling techniques that can help teach couples how to function more healthily. The method you utilize can depend on the specifics of your relationship, such as sexual orientation, medical history, whether you have children, and more.
Often, licensed therapists who work with couples have a specialty, which could be based on broad categories, like family therapy, or more specific ones, like blended families. Many therapists even give you take-home training materials that you can work through with your partner on your own time.
To help ensure that you are working with a professional who can effectively improve your situation, you might consider doing research beforehand. You might also try out several different therapists before choosing one who is right for you.
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