What Does An Identity Crisis Look Like?

“Identity crisis” is a term first explored by Erik Erikson, a psychologist who used it to describe shifts in personality and values that many people experience during adolescence. According to the American Psychological Association, the teenage years may not be the only time in a person’s life that they experience an identity crisis. 

Nowadays, an identity crisis refers to any stage of life in which a person feels their values are changing and they have less of a sense of commitment to the roles they have typically filled in their life, such as family relationships or work responsibilities. 

If you are experiencing an identity crisis, you may be asking yourself a series of questions:

• Who am I?
• What is important to me?
• What are my passion areas?
• What are my values?
• Do I have any belief systems?
• What do I want out of my relationships or my career?
• What is my role in society?
• What is my purpose in life?

Identity crises may be caused by significant life changes, such as graduating college, or they may be precipitated by traumatic experiences.

Signs you may be experiencing an identity crisis

Identity crises can look different for everyone depending on a variety of factors. Experiencing an identity crisis as a part of normal personality development in adolescence will likely not look the same as going through an identity crisis in other circumstances. 

However, some components of identity crises may be universal across age ranges and causes. If you are experiencing any of the below signs, you may be in the middle of an identity crisis:

• Constantly questioning who you are or what you want out of life; a self-reflection loop
• Low self-esteem, which can result in negative thoughts about yourself such as, “I’m a failure” 
• Physical and behavioral symptoms such as difficulty concentrating or constant fatigue (it can be helpful to speak to a doctor to make sure these aren’t related to any medical condition)
• Experiencing anxiety, stress, agitation, or restlessness
• A sense of apathy and dissatisfaction without knowing why or feeling like one is “going through the motions” 
• Difficulty answering questions about yourself
• Feeling as though you are changing your values or personality relative to different situations, locations, or relationships (not to be confused with the basic human tendency to adapt to changing circumstances while remaining connected to a core sense of self)
• Lack of connection to your own thoughts and emotions
• Not trusting yourself; not feeling comfortable making decisions, second-guessing the decisions you do make, or changing your mind often
• Experiencing boredom with aspects of your life that used to bring joy or, at least, satisfaction
• Revisiting and reflecting on past choices and life events, sometimes excessively
• Fixating on time passing by (this symptom may be more common in identity crises among older people, such as midlife crises)
• Feeling as though your life lacks meaning or purpose

Many of the above symptoms may also be signs of a mental health condition, so it may be important to talk to a mental health professional. 

Finding support for identity crises

An identity crisis is not a formal diagnosis, so there are no set cures or treatments for processing identity confusion or challenges related to identity development. However, there are some methods that may help alleviate the challenges of an identity crisis and encourage personal growth and identity stabilization.

Group therapy and support groups

Group therapy may be a helpful setting to talk through issues related to sense of self with people who are also experiencing similar challenges. A trained and licensed therapist often facilitates the conversation. Two forms of group therapy that may be particularly beneficial in addressing identity concerns are group reality therapy, which helps people examine their life choices, and narrative therapy, which empowers people to see themselves as authors of their own life stories.

Support groups may be a less formal but still potentially beneficial way of processing an identity crisis. Groups may be aligned around shared experiences, such as an identity crisis precipitated by a specific life event. Examples might include:

• Getting married or divorced
• Becoming a parent for the first time
• Losing a job
• Graduating college
• Receiving a health diagnosis
• Losing a family member
• Relocating
• Experiencing a traumatic event

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Other times, support groups may be delineated by age (i.e., support for adults experiencing an identity crisis in middle age, teenagers exploring their identities for the first time, etc.).

Intentional self-reflection

It may seem odd to suggest self-reflection as a means of addressing an identity crisis when a self-reflection loop can be a symptom of an identity crisis. As long as you are reflecting with intention, though, you may learn more about yourself and start to move towards a more defined sense of who you are. It can be helpful to start by working on identifying, acknowledging, and accepting your feelings–even the negative ones. If you are having difficulty honing in on and defining your emotions, journaling could be beneficial.

Once you have a better sense of what leads to joy and what doesn’t, it may be easier to start thinking about your goals and what you want to accomplish in life. You might start to experiment with new interests and hobbies or return to activities in which you haven’t participated in for a while to help you see what kind of life you might like to build. 

Online talk therapy

Talk therapy is considered one of the most impactful ways to address concerns related to one’s identity. One form of therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), in which a client and therapist work together to examine the way a client’s thoughts are related to their behaviors, can often yield significant improvement in self-understanding and self-integration.

If you are feeling anxiety and agitation around your sense of self, it may seem like an unnecessary stressor to figure out the logistics of setting up and commuting to an in-person therapy appointment. In this instance, it may be more helpful to consider online therapy. Scheduling therapy through an accredited online therapy platform may give you access to licensed counselors from the comfort of your own home. 

Scientific research indicates that accessing therapy online may be just as effective as attending traditional in-person therapy sessions. One study that analyzed online delivery of cognitive behavioral therapy specifically found that outcomes of online CBT were comparable to outcomes of in-person CBT. If you are experiencing concerns related to your identity development, online therapy can be a helpful support system.