Crafting A Self-Care Plan To Reduce Stress And Promote Mental Health

“Self-care” is a commonly used term today, but it’s often misunderstood or misinterpreted. Here, we’ll talk about what self-care actually is and what it is not, including specific examples. Then, we’ll discuss its benefits and importance, as well as share tips and ideas on how you can create your own personalized self-care plan to reduce stress and promote well-being.

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What is self-care?

The National Institute of Mental Health defines self-care as “taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health.” It goes on to say that such practices “can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy.” To put it another way, self-care generally involves the actions you take in daily life to help yourself be well and feel well.

Myths and misconceptions about self-care

While self-care can be considered a core component of well-being, it’s often misunderstood. With many brands and social media influencers now using the term, it has become associated with splurging, indulging, or buying something, such as taking a vacation or purchasing expensive skincare products. Acts like these can form part of self-care for some people or in some cases, but true self-care is generally much broader. Below are a few common myths and misconceptions about self-care to help you gain a better understanding of what it is and is not.

“Self-care usually involves buying something” (false)

Most of the time, self-care doesn’t involve buying anything. While some bubble bath or a candy bar may sometimes be part of your routine for helping yourself relax or feel better, self-care often goes beyond such practices. Instead, it can include less glamorous but deeply important practices (that are often free), like setting boundaries to reduce anxiety in relationships or spending some time at the park when you’ve been feeling stressed at work.

“Self-care is something you do once in a while, like taking a vacation” (false)

While splurging on expensive or large-scale acts of self-care can be part of some people's plans, it's not the only form. In fact, self-care is generally most effective when it's practiced regularly in smaller ways. Routine actions of self-love, like incorporating fruit and vegetables into your meals as often as possible and getting regular time with loved ones, tend to form the backbone of an effective self-care plan. 

“Self-care is primarily about physical wellness” (false)

Self-care can have a lot to do with physical health, and many commonly recommended self-care activities may seem like they're only about physical health, such as exercising regularly and getting enough sleep. However, the true aim of self-care is to promote overall wellness, which includes mental and emotional well-being, too. 

Because of the mind-body connection, virtually any practice that supports physical health can also support mental health. For example, consider how physical exercise may reduce a person's risk of physical health complications like cardiovascular disease and can also improve their emotional well-being by boosting mood. 

“A self-care plan is something you engage in only by yourself” (false)

Finally, despite the name, self-care doesn’t always have to be done on your own. Some people may interpret the concept of self-care as withdrawing from others so you can focus on your own needs, but this isn’t always the most helpful option. Humans tend to be social creatures, and taking care of yourself can and should be done in community as well for best results. 

For example, self-care can include interpersonal and interdependent practices like the following:

• Reaching out for help when you need it
• Spending regular time with loved ones and neighbors to cultivate strong, supportive relationships
• Practicing self-care habits (like exercise) together with a friend
• Providing care for someone else, like bringing a meal to a family member who is going through a difficult time or giving more support to a community mutual aid project
• Speaking openly about self-care with others to help raise awareness, reduce mental health stigma, and encourage healthy dialogue

Why do self-care and coping strategies need to be personalized?

Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. Instead, it's typically most effective when it's customized to the individual. For instance, most people can benefit from regular physical exercise. But for some, this looks like going on long morning runs, while others may prefer doing dance videos at home or taking short walks in the evening. 

Similarly, consider how someone who identifies as more extroverted may need to schedule some social time with a friend when they're feeling depleted. In contrast, a person who identifies as more introverted may need to schedule alone time as part of their self-care plan when they're feeling depleted. 

Reduce stress, promote wellness, and more: Potential benefits of self-care

It can take time and a process of trial and error to figure out what methods of self-care work best for you—so is it worth it? Below, we'll examine just a few reasons why developing a self-care plan and engaging in such practices on a regular basis can be worthwhile. 

Get in touch with and attend to your needs

The process of figuring out which self-care methods work best for you and which one you may need to practice at a given moment usually involves cultivating a sense of mindfulness and attunement to your own needs. This valuable skill can help you in many areas of life, empowering you to notice and then take action when something’s not right. 

Reduce stress and build healthy coping strategies

One of the key potential benefits of self-care is reducing stress. It’s about finding ways to take care of yourself and get what you need so you can feel well enough to fully engage in life and address challenges as they arise. Properly managing stress through self-care may also reduce your risk of developing mental health challenges (like depression and burnout) and physical health challenges (like sleep problems and cardiovascular issues).

Improve the health of your relationships 

Self-care may improve your mood and self-confidence, which can translate into showing up as your best self in relationships of all kinds. Self-care can also involve specific practices within relationships, such as setting boundaries, being honest about your feelings, and asking for what you need. In other words, a robust self-care plan may empower you to cultivate and fully engage in healthy friendships, romantic relationships, and/or relationships with family members.

Cultivate a sense of overall well-being

We’ve already touched on how self-care can improve your physical and mental health. It may both reduce your risk of developing various conditions and help you notice and take action if you do recognize concerning symptoms. Together, these can promote a sense of overall health, well-being, connectedness, and attunement with yourself and those you care about. In the end, self-care is about improving your quality of life.

How to get started creating your personal self-care plan

As discussed above, the most effective self-care plan is usually highly personalized. It can take time to figure out what works best for you, and your needs may change depending on the challenges you’re facing during a given period. Taking the time to start noticing and responding to your needs can help you build mindfulness so that you can continually adapt your approach to self-care as needed. Remember that while hearing what other people do for self-care may give you inspiration, what works best for someone else may not work best for you.

It may be helpful to keep in mind that although a self-care plan doesn’t need to be formal or written out, putting a few thoughts or plans down on paper could be helpful—especially if you’re new to thinking about self-care.

Here are a few ways to get started with making your own custom self-care plan:

• Think about the components of self-care (listed below) and jot down a few ideas for yourself in each category
• Look back over the past few days or weeks to identify things that made you feel balanced or activities that helped you feel better when you weren’t doing well
• Learn more about your personality and preferences (e.g., introvert or extrovert, morning person or night owl, social butterfly or homebody) to help yourself identify key needs
• Practice mindfulness regularly to get more in tune with your needs as they arise
• Challenge yourself to try out one or two new habits related to self-care per week
• Add core self-care practices to your calendar or planner so you don’t forget to do them (e.g., set a daily alarm to remind you to eat lunch or a weekly notification to remind you to reach out to a friend)
• Write a few self-care affirmations (“I am worthy of care” or “I listen to my body and its needs,” for example) and say them regularly to remind yourself of the power of these practices 
• Enlist a friend to hold each other accountable for a specific self-care practice, like exercising together or encouraging one another to speak up for their needs

Again, devising a self-care plan is often an ongoing task, but you’ll likely get better at figuring out what you need and what works for you with practice.

Common components of self-care to consider

As you create your self-care plan, it can be important to consider the many different components of well-being to ensure you care for yourself holistically. Below are some key aspects of self-care, along with examples of each:

• Mental self-care, like practicing mindfulness, making time for a favorite hobby, learning new things, practicing positive self-talk, and seeking professional mental health care as needed
• Physical self-care, like getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating nutritiously, taking any prescribed medication, stretching, and going to the doctor as needed
• Spiritual self-care, like spending time in nature, journaling, reflecting on and living by your values, and attending religious services, praying, or meditating if desired
• Social self-care, like getting regular social interaction, asking for help when you need it, connecting with your culture, setting boundaries, saying “no” to social engagements or personal commitments when you don’t have the capacity, and speaking up for your needs in relationships

How a therapist can help

Seeking therapy can benefit your well-being in many ways. For instance, if you’re not sure where to start in designing your own self-care plan, a therapist can guide you through this process of self-discovery. Or, reaching out for support with navigating mental health symptoms, relationship conflict, or a major life change can be an effective way to practice self-care, develop healthy coping strategies, and promote emotional well-being. 

Exploring the option of online mental health therapy

While therapy can be a helpful tool for self-care, attending regular in-person sessions is not always comfortable or convenient. If you’d prefer to meet with a provider from the comfort of home, you might consider seeking virtual therapy instead.

With a platform like BetterHelp, you can be matched with a licensed therapist whom you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or online chat sessions. That means sessions can take place from anywhere you have a personal device and an internet connection. Online care tends to be more affordable than in-person therapy sessions without insurance. 

Get guidance in creating a self-care plan

Connect with a therapist online

Research on virtual care for mental health

Researchers have been studying online therapy and its impacts since this format became available years ago. There is now a large and growing body of research to suggest that online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for addressing many different mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety disorders.