Things You Can Do When Supporting A Loved One With Neuroticism

Supporting a loved one with neuroticism can be challenging. You may notice frequent mood swings and emotions that may be consistently more negative than other peoples’. But regardless of the challenges involved, it can be possible to help a loved one with neuroticism. 

What does neuroticism look like?

Neuroticism refers to the likelihood that someone will experience negative emotions. These emotions may include anxiety, excessive worrying, and a general sense of insecurity. While it is not a mental health condition, it is a personality trait that can impact a person’s physical and mental health. 

Neuroticism is regarded as part of the Five-Factor Model of personality. In that model, it exists on a spectrum between low and high emotional stability. Those on the high emotional stability side of the spectrum are typically considered low in neuroticism.

People with neuroticism tend to be more emotionally reactive; even minor stressors can often trigger intense emotional responses. They also tend to dwell excessively on negative thoughts and experiences, often making them more susceptible to anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns.

It is also typical for people with this condition to be hypervigilant about adverse outcomes. They may display a heightened sensitivity to criticism or rejection and experience an increased fear of failure. These symptoms can lead to challenges in social interactions, as individuals with neuroticism may be more self-conscious and prone to interpersonal conflicts. 

Low self-esteem is also often associated with neuroticism; self-consciousness and frequent self-criticism are common in neurotic people. 

Symptoms of neuroticism typically vary in intensity from person to person; while some individuals may experience milder symptoms, others may exhibit more pronounced emotional instability.

Where does neuroticism come from?

Research suggests that a significant role in neuroticism's development, but to what extent seems to remain in question. As with many personality traits, it is typically uncertain if genetic or environmental factors play a more significant role in the development of neuroticism.

Adverse childhood experiences, such as trauma or neglect, can contribute to neuroticism development. Negative interactions, excessive criticism, or overprotectiveness within the family may also be contributing factors. Cultural norms, values, and expectations are also relevant, as they can shape individuals' perceptions of stress, possibly changing the threshold at which negative emotion is felt.  

Can neuroticism be treated?

Neuroticism is typically not a diagnosable mental condition but is often associated with many mental disorders. Because it is not a diagnosis, saying that one "treats" neuroticism may be slightly misleading. However, managing underlying conditions, addressing negative feelings, and providing support that can help reduce the severity of your loved one's symptoms may be possible.  

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a widely recognized and effective kind of psychotherapy that has been shown to significantly improve the lives of people with neurotic tendencies. CBT can identify and modify maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors associated with neuroticism. It typically works at the intersection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; when change occurs to one, subsequent change often occurs in the others. Therapists can help individuals challenge negative thinking, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve problem-solving skills. Through CBT, individuals can learn to reframe negative thinking patterns and manage their emotional reactions more effectively.

In addition to therapy, lifestyle modifications can significantly reduce symptom severity. Regular physical exercise has been shown to alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression, which are often associated with neuroticism. Exercise often promotes the release of endorphins, which can enhance mood and overall well-being. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and stress management techniques such as mindfulness can also play a role in managing neurotic symptoms.

A strong support network can provide validation, additional resources, and new strategies for help. If you're caring for someone with neuroticism, you should likely expand your support network to get extra help. Sharing concerns and emotions with trusted individuals can help you and your loved one manage stress, gain insights, and receive encouragement. 

Strategies for supporting your loved one you can use today

While the gold standard for relieving the effects of neuroticism is often visiting a therapist, there may be some general strategies you can also employ. Encouraging good communication, helping your loved one learn how to change their automatic negative thoughts, and implementing a relaxation routine can all be excellent places to start.

Encourage open, empathetic communication

Creating a safe and supportive environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves may be essential to foster open and empathetic communication with your loved one. You may start by actively listening to them without interruption, giving them your undivided attention and maintaining eye contact. Showing genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings and validating their emotions without judgment will likely go a long way. You should employ reflective listening techniques, such as paraphrasing what they say back to them to ensure you understand their meaning.   

You may also want to avoid giving advice unless specifically asked and encourage your loved one to share by asking open-ended questions that invite deeper conversation. Being patient and avoiding pressuring them to share can also show them you will be a safe space for them to share once they're ready. The goal should be to provide a gentle, reassuring presence to make your loved one feel safe, loved, and secure.

Teach your loved one cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a core technique of CBT. Although it may be most powerful when used as a tool by a mental health professional, cognitive restructuring can be started at any time. It is usually a simple process that involves confronting unhealthy negative thought patterns. 

1. Identify negative thought patterns: The first step to helping your loved one manage unhealthy thoughts is often to help them recognize when they speak negatively about themselves or are self-defeating. You can encourage your loved one to become aware of their negative thoughts and beliefs and identify specific instances when these thoughts arise.  
2. Challenge negative thought patterns: Once a negative thought has been identified, you may assist your loved one in challenging its validity. Encouraging them to ask themself questions, such as, "What are the reasons that I feel this way?" and, "Are there alternative explanations for the situation?", might go a long way. This process can help them examine their negative thought from a more balanced and realistic perspective.
3. Replace negative thought patterns: The final step in breaking negative thought patterns is usually to replace them with positive ones. You can encourage them to think positively about themselves and consciously replace negative thoughts with positive ones. It may also be great to help them find evidence to support their positive thoughts and focus on more optimistic aspects of their circumstances.

Help your loved one set up a relaxation routine

When caring for a loved one with neuroticism, it is usually advisable to have them designate a specific time and place for relaxation. You can encourage them to maintain their relaxation habit by adhering to a relaxation schedule. Teaching them basic relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can improve their overall quality of life.  

Deep breathing exercises are usually straightforward. They can instruct your loved one to take slow, deep breaths and exhale gradually, focusing on relaxation with each breath. It may also be helpful for them to picture calming or joyful scenes in their mind.

A slightly more advanced method, progressive muscle relaxation may be the gold standard of relaxation techniques. You may want to have your loved one do the following steps in their relaxation space: 

1. Start with a deep breath, inhaling slowly and exhaling fully.
2. Tense your toes for a few seconds, then release the tension and feel the relaxation.
3. Move to your calves, tensing and relaxing the muscles.
4. Continue this process by tensing and relaxing your thighs and progressively moving upward through your body's other muscle groups. Remember to hold the tension for a few seconds before releasing it.
   

How can online therapy help?

Online therapy can help you and your loved one manage the effects of their neuroticism. A therapist can provide you with emotional support and encouragement, and they can initiate structured psychotherapy with your loved one. Online therapy often uses the same evidence-based techniques as traditional therapy but without some of the barriers of in-person therapy, like commuting to a therapist’s office. With online therapy, you may also be more likely to find a therapist best suited for your loved one, as you are typically not limited to nearby therapists. 

In addition to its numerous benefits, online therapy is also often a viable option, as it has been proven effective in helping address various mental health concerns. One study found that it can be just as effective as in-person therapy in managing depression, which is often associated with neuroticism. Online therapy can be a game-changer for your loved one, potentially improving their overall quality of life.