Single Female Parents: Strategies To Improve Mental Health
Parenting can be both extremely rewarding and very challenging. Single parents may face additional challenges when raising children. For single mothers and single fathers, balancing work, finances, parenting, and daily life can be emotionally and physically draining. With so much responsibility on one person’s shoulders in a single-parent household, mental health often takes a backseat.
Regardless of marital status, taking steps to improve mental health and well-being can benefit both the parent and their children. Reducing stress, burnout, and anxiety linked to being a parent can create a home environment that is conducive to emotional regulation and growth. In this article, we will examine the challenges of maintaining mental health as a single parent and explore techniques to maintain balance and improve overall well-being.
Challenges of raising a child or children in single-parent families
According to the Pew Research Center, 23% of children in the United States are living in a single-parent household. Single-parent families may experience unique challenges that families with two married parents don’t necessarily face. These challenges can vary but may include the following:
- Financial strain: Without two incomes, unmarried mothers or fathers may experience added financial pressure when covering basic needs, including housing, utilities, food, childcare, and education. This added pressure may force single moms or dads to work irregular hours or multiple jobs, leaving less time and energy for self-care and quality family interactions.
- Time constraints: Unmarried parents may juggle many responsibilities that could be shared in a two-parent household. These can include school drop-offs, doctor’s appointments, homework help, household chores, and work commitments. Constant multitasking and managing schedules can contribute to exhaustion and burnout.
- Isolation: Unmarried women and men may experience isolation as they may believe they are alone in facing the challenges of parenthood. Parenting, including single motherhood and fatherhood, can be challenging to face alone. Having another person to lean on can lighten the load.
- Role overload: Being both provider and caregiver typically means single parents wear multiple hats, including those of the disciplinarian, teacher, chauffeur, cook, and more. This can make it overwhelming to raise one’s own children and handle the demands of everyday life at home and work.
- Co-parenting conflicts: In some cases, a divorced parent may experience conflict or challenges related to co-parenting. Disagreements over custody, visitation, or parenting styles can heighten stress for both parent and child.
- Social stigma: Despite shifting attitudes, single parents often face societal assumptions and unfair judgments. This stigma can undermine self-esteem and discourage parents from seeking the community support that they need and deserve.
Recognizing mental health concerns for single mothers and fathers
Understanding and recognizing mental health concerns for single parents can help identify challenges or conditions early on, which may improve outcomes in the long term. For an unwed mother or father, being proactive about mental health may prevent small worries from becoming serious problems. Here are key signs and risk factors to watch for:
- Mood changes: Significant mood swings or heightened irritability can result from feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
- Chronic stress and anxiety: While parenting can be inherently stressful, chronic stress or anxiety that occurs daily may be a sign of a larger mental health condition.
- Sleep and appetite changes: It may be helpful to look out for changes in sleep, such as insomnia or waking frequently. Additionally, changes in appetite or weight can be signs of mental health concerns.
- Fatigue and trouble focusing: Feeling drained, even after rest, and difficulty maintaining focus or concentration may be linked to anxiety or stress.
- Social withdrawal: During times of heightened anxiety, a single parent may withdraw from friends and family members.
Common mental health concerns for children of single parents
In addition to recognizing mental health concerns for single parents, it may be helpful to understand common mental health concerns for children living with a single parent. Children of single parents may be at an elevated risk of developing mental health conditions later in life, including substance use disorder, depression, and anxiety. Looking for signs of these disorders early on can play a key role in managing and improving mental health in the long term.
If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.
Outside of the long-term mental health impacts of living with a single parent, children may experience short-term impacts as well. These can include feelings of anxiety associated with the stress of moving homes or potential financial instability. Children may internalize stigma around not having two parents, which may lead to a sense of inadequacy or shame. They might avoid social situations or hesitate to invite friends over. This can lead to prolonged stress, which can be linked to depression in some cases.
Everyday strategies for improving mental health
Improving mental health is not a luxury; it can be viewed as a necessity for both children and their parents. Children may internalize their own parents' emotions, which means that it can be helpful to implement strategies like the ones discussed below for improved mental well-being.
Establishing a daily routine in single-parent families
Establishing a daily routine can create stability and help both the child and their caregiver feel more secure and streamlined each day. Mapping out a daily routine may start with identifying key blocks of time that are non-negotiable, such as school and work. From there, a parent can build out their schedule to incorporate and delegate household responsibilities. It may be beneficial to focus on specific routines aimed at improving mental health, such as taking a walk, exercising, or spending time doing other calming activities.
Self-compassion strategies for single mothers and fathers
Single parents may experience guilt or shame due to societal and personal expectations. Practicing self-compassion can be a way to improve mental health and boost self-esteem. Strategies may include the following:
- Setting realistic expectations
- Practicing positive self-talk or affirmations
- Scheduling self-check-ins
- Celebrating small wins
- Practicing mindful breathing or meditation
Goal setting for single parents
Setting goals can help single parents monitor progress and celebrate milestones. These goals may build accountability and can be readjusted or revisited frequently. When setting goals, it may be a good idea to break them into small, actionable steps that are less overwhelming.
Creating time for self-care
For single parents, one of the most challenging aspects of improving mental health is time. Creating time for self-care can help ensure that a single parent’s mental health needs are addressed, which can help them be a more effective parent. Busy parents may try carving out specific times of day to focus on their mental health.
Building a strong support network
In a two-parent household, parents may share the load and lean on one another during challenging times. For single parents, much of this work is done on their own, which can lead to stress and anxiety. This is why it may be essential for single parents to build a strong support network of friends and family members who can provide advice, guidance, and support.
Additionally, single parents may join a support group aimed at connecting single parents. A single-parent support group can be a way to gain skills and guidance from a community of people who understand the challenges of single parenthood. These groups may be member-led or can be facilitated by a professional who may ensure that each member’s needs are met.
Strategies to improve mental health as a family unit
For single parents, improving mental health may extend beyond the individual and can be a family endeavor. By focusing on improving each family member’s mental health, parents can ensure that each person in the family unit knows they are supported. This can help the family become a support network with children and parents working together to improve mental health.
Modeling healthy coping skills for children
It may be beneficial for parents to model healthy coping skills for children. When children see their parents address challenging situations in a healthy way, they may imitate the behavior when faced with their own difficulties. Parents may use challenges as an opportunity to talk through their thought processes with their children and explain how they use healthy coping mechanisms to stay calm and move forward.
Having age-appropriate conversations about emotions with a child
Talking through challenging emotions can be a way for parents to teach self-regulation skills. These conversations may vary depending on the age of the child. For example, a young child may need explicit instructions for managing feelings of anger or fear, while older children may benefit from guidance on managing anxiety and stress.
Connecting with a mental health professional
Another way to focus on improving mental health may be to connect with a mental health professional. A therapist can consider a person’s mental health needs holistically, taking into account their personal history and current situation before making recommendations. Online therapy can be an effective way for single parents to improve mental health and reduce anxiety and stress. In a virtual environment, a therapist can implement techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy and recommend mindfulness practices that cater to a person’s unique needs.
Single parents often have busy schedules, and attending therapy at a brick-and-mortar office may not always be feasible. Online therapy sessions can occur from anywhere with a personal device and an internet connection. This means that you can get the support you deserve at a convenient time and from a convenient location.
Takeaway
What percent of single parents are female?
In 2017, around 81% of single parents were female. Being the sole parent can come with many challenges and high stress levels, particularly for those who do not receive child support payments, fall below the federal poverty level, and must pay for child care.
What are the symptoms of single mom burnout?
Common burnout symptoms include the following:
- Feeling tired regardless of the amount of rest you get
- A sense of detachment or numbness
- Making more mistakes than usual
- Struggling to focus
- Anxiety, irritability, and tension
Parental stress and burnout don’t only occur in single-mother families, however. Single fathers, married couples with their own children, and parents and caregivers with other types of family structures can also experience burnout.
What are the four types of single parents?
Below are the four types of single parents:
- Unmarried and living alone
- Widowed
- Separated
- Divorced
Research suggests that nearly half of single mothers have never been married. There appears to be a growing share of families headed by single mothers.
Do most single moms stay single?
It’s challenging to find accurate data regarding the proportion of single parents who remain single. Some single parents may go on to enter relationships, married couple families, or other family forms, while others may remain single.
What gender is more likely to be a single parent?
Women tend to be much more likely to be single parents, although this isn’t always the case. Data suggests that more than two-thirds of single parents are female.
How does being a single parent affect your mental health?
Being a single parent can lead to high stress levels and burnout. Anxiety disorders, depression, isolation, and loneliness are other common concerns.
Do single mothers have a higher risk of mood disorders?
Although updated research may be needed, a 2014 study reported that single mothers have a higher risk of physical and mental health disorders than married mothers. Although many factors are likely involved, concerns related to financial resources, the gender pay gap, and living below the poverty line may contribute to mental health challenges, even for individuals in high-income countries.
How can you survive as a single mom of two?
A few strategies to survive as a single mom include building a strong support network, setting aside time for self-care, and exploring the available resources in your community. Many employed single mothers also benefit from maintaining consistent routines to manage family life and promote child well-being.
What is the hardest part of being a single mom?
The most challenging part of being a single mom may be finding time for all the tasks and responsibilities at hand. Financial stress also tends to weigh heavily on single parents, according to labor statistics data.
How to cope with life as a single mother?
Coping with life as a single mother often means seeking support, whether from friends, family members, a therapist, or a support group. Taking advantage of available community resources and making time for self-care can also be crucial.
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