Sometimes I Feel Like I Hate My Kids: Am I A Bad Parent?

Just when you feel like you're learning how to be a loving parent, the thought comes to you 'I hate my kids.' It can be a quickly-passing thought that doesn't worry you at all or constant obsession that makes you feel like an unfit parent. The thought alone is nothing to be ashamed of. You can begin to overcome it by recognizing where the feeling is coming from.

Kids Can Be Needy

Children have needs that they can't always fulfill on their own. Even the most independent child needs your love, support, and assistance to develop into a healthy adult. You know this, so you put extreme pressure on yourself to meet all their needs perfectly. Helping them is essential, but constant perfection is unattainable.


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They Can Be Demanding

When children want something, they can be very persistent in pushing you to give it to them. You may feel like a failure if you see them as being deprived. Or, you may find their excessive demands extremely irritating. Because they haven't developed mature judgment about what is important and what isn't, you can find yourself resenting their demands on your time, energy, and finances. That resentment can build into a feeling of hate if it goes on long enough.

They Have a Lot to Learn

Children have so much to learn! When they arrive in the world, everything is new to them. Sometimes, it brings you joy to see them happily discovering the world around them. Yet, their inexperience can feel like a burden when you have to tell or show them something over and over. You may be well aware that it isn't their fault they have so much to learn. At the same time, you have to deal with all the mistakes that are a part of learning.


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They're a Huge Responsibility

The weight of your responsibility as a parent can seem unbearable at times. You may have to put off something you would like to do or give up on your most cherished dreams, at least until your children are grown. It isn't unusual to feel you hate your children when you have to set aside your own desires to put them first.

When your child is hurt or upset, you help them feel better. You keep them as safe and protected as they need to be. When you feel the responsibility is too great for you, turning your anger one them is easier than living up to your role as a parent.

'What Can I Do When I Hate My Kids?'


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A parent who gives in to their feeling that they hate their children can potentially cause them serious harm. The feeling is only acceptable if you deal with it personally and continue to do your job of nurturing them and loving them unconditionally. Whenever the hate takes over and begins to show to your children, you have to find better ways to interact with them. A counselor near you or online at BetterHelp.com can help you explore and deal with your hate. They can help you manage your job as a parent and be a true gift to the children in your life.


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