You Don’t Have To Be Perfect: How To Be A Better Mom
Every mother has days, weeks, or even months when she feels like she's failing. If you're feeling this way, rest assured you're in good company. While perfection should never be your goal (it's impossible, you know), there are always ways to improve in the parenting department. Here's how to be a better mom.
Why You Feel Like You're Failing
In today's social-media-infused world, it's impossible not to compare ourselves to others. We scroll through our feeds and see other moms who are homeschooling their kids, doing crafty projects, taking fun vacations, cooking amazing food, coaching their kids' soccer team, and maintaining immaculate houses, all while running a work-from-home business on Etsy.
It's no wonder you feel like you don't measure up.
Never before in history has so much personal information about our friends and acquaintances been available to us, and it can be overwhelming - and discouraging. But you also must remember that never before in history have we had the power to project such a carefully-crafted identity with a simple uploaded picture coupled with a few lines of choice text.
In other words, it's not real.
Perfection is Not the Goal
Despite the way it appears, social media is simply a highlight reel - and it's a highlight of all the strengths those other mothers are posting on their feeds. The most important thing to remember is - those strengths do not have to be yours.
You have your own.
You have mothering skills that rock better than all the other moms on the block. Maybe you don't cook amazing meals, but you're fostering independence in your kids by teaching them how to make their own peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. Maybe you don't do super-creative crafts, but you are much more relaxed about letting your kids create messes and explore their own creativity. Maybe you aren't able to volunteer in your kid's classroom because you're working full-time, but you help your kids with their homework each night.
You have areas where you're succeeding, I promise. Find them, and focus on your strengths instead of your deficiencies.
How to Be a Better Mom
Even though you most definitely have strengths, there are always areas in your parenting that could use some improvement. Here's how to tackle them.
- Turn off social media and stop the comparison game. If you want to make improvements, make them because you think your kids need you to do so - not because you think you need to do the same things the other mothers are doing.
- Identify the heart of the issue that makes you unhappy. Do you feel your kids need more structure? More follow-through with discipline? Better nutrition? More encouraging words? Don't try to tackle a million issues at once. Identify the root of your discontent with your parenting, and tackle that first.
- Implement a solution. Now that you know the core issue, identify a solution that will address that specific thing. You don't need a chore chart like your best friend if you're trying to tackle potty training. One thing at a time, mom.
- Celebrate your successes and remember your strengths. You will still have days that feel hard. But on those days, remember - you've got plenty of things where you're rocking.
Remember, a happy mom is a better mom. If you feel like you're failing and need some help identifying the source of your discontent and crafting a solution, you can get convenient and confidential counseling at your fingertips through BetterHelp.