Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health/personality disorder. It is characterized by an individual having a long-term pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, and an excessive need for admiration. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a person with this personality disorder must exhibit at least five of the following characteristics, which are usually present by early adulthood.
While there are several characteristics of narcissism that may be seen in any of the types of narcissistic personalities, narcissists are generally labeled by the most common characteristic they display.
This type of person with narcissism tends to thrive on the admiration and praise of others. These narcissists generally believe they are more special or more valuable than other people and crave being the center of attention. These narcissists don’t mind using other people for anything that fits into their goal or agenda and become offended easily if others try to deny them anything they think they deserve.
As the name suggests, this type of narcissist personality does whatever they can do to make you feel good about yourself, at least at first. These narcissists may appear to admire you and may even idealize you, but their main goal is to make you feel that way about them so that you can be used to further their agenda. Someone who has seductive narcissism generally wants your admiration and will flatter you to get what they want. Don’t be fooled, though. When a seductive narcissist no longer needs you to compliment or stroke their ego, these narcissists may leave you and move on to a new target.
To protect yourself from someone with seductive narcissism, show appreciation for compliments or kindness, but don’t get lost in the moment and forget that every person with narcissism has an agenda. One way to tell whether someone with narcissism is being sincere with you (and they likely are not) is to watch how they treat others. The way someone with narcissism talks about or treats former co-workers, friends, or even former romantic partners is a good indication of how you will be treated when you are no longer needed.
Make no mistake. This type of narcissist personality, contrary to the name, is not vulnerable. Vulnerable narcissists are, however, very good at playing the vulnerable victim act. Someone with vulnerable narcissism seeks attention by trying to get pity from others.
People with this personality are very manipulative. Their behavior is often so subtle that it can be difficult to spot the warning signs. A person with vulnerable narcissism personality tends to use their ability to manipulate the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of others to help fuel their own ego trip. If a person sees through this type of narcissist’s behavior, he or she will likely act hurt or offended and will then move on to another, unsuspecting target.
When you think of a covert narcissist, think of a covert or “secret” military operation. It is planned, calculated, and generally comes as a surprise. This is exactly how a person with covert narcissism acts. This type of narcissist often uses guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation to get what they want. This personality type usually belittles their partners and deprives them of physical or emotional needs until they get what they want. When someone with covert narcissism does get what he wants, he will then show affection or buy gifts to gain more control over his partner.
They are very good at masking their manipulative personality so that it is not detected by others. They come across as charming and use that charm to seduce and manipulate others.
The narcissist with a grandiose personality tends to see himself as more influential and important than anyone else. People with this personality may exaggerate their importance and brag about accomplishments to elicit your admiration or envy. Someone with grandiose narcissism generally believes that they are destined to do great things. This type of narcissist is very driven and charismatic, often drawing the attention of others, which is what feeds their all-about-me personality.
The charisma with which a person with the grandiose narcissism personality pursues goals may leave others feeling the need to compete for attention. However, this is not recommended. Any time a grandiose narcissist is challenged, this personality will likely increase efforts to be the most superior.
This type of narcissism is defined by someone who is incapable of showing any empathy or compassion toward others. People with this personality are often called sociopaths or psychopaths. They are very manipulative and often exploit friends, peers, and family members for personal and/or professional gain. A person with malignant narcissism are very controlling of the people in their lives and put forth strong efforts to isolate their victim or target.
Malignant narcissists rarely feel guilt or remorse no matter how much pain they cause for others. On the contrary, people with this personality are usually driven by the feeling of complete control and may enjoy causing pain for others. Watching people struggle and feel oppressed gives them an opportunity to play the hero and then set a victim up to be hurt again.
Vindictive may very well be an understatement. If you challenge a person with vindictive narcissism, they will do everything they can to destroy you. Someone with vindictive narcissism may gossip about you to your friends and try to break up friendships. They love to play the victim to bosses and try to get their targets fired. If you were married to someone with vindictive narcissism, don’t be surprised if they try to turn your children against you.
Unfortunately, vindictive narcissists are very good at hiding their true nature and intentions from others. Therefore, if you suspect that someone you know has vindictive narcissism, try to distance yourself as soon as possible. Further, protecting yourself legally may be the only recourse you have when dealing with a person with vindictive narcissism. Save emails, texts, and other communications that can prove the person with narcissism is harassing you or trying to harm you. While this may seem a bit extreme to some, once the damage is done by someone with vindictive narcissism, it is often difficult to undo it. Preparing and protecting yourself is important.
People with narcissistic personality types do not believe that anything is wrong with them.
Therefore, these kinds may be unlikely to seek treatment. Initially, most people with this personality disorder who do seek treatment do so for symptoms such as depression, anxiety, alcohol, or drug abuse. This does not mean that you shouldn’t know what to look for and when to seek help if a person with one of these disorders becomes part of your life.
The long-term effects of being in a relationship with a person who has a narcissistic personality can cause emotional strain and may even lead to other physical illness. Therefore, it’s vital to get the support you need to begin to understand the dynamics for the disorder. Seeking help from a mental health professional can help you develop the tools you need to achieve personal mental wellness. If you recognize the narcissism symptoms in yourself or if you are feeling overwhelmed by sadness or depression, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, doctor, or mental health care provider. If you are having thoughts about self-harm or suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-HELP (5288). The lifeline has counselors available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Connecting with a counselor or other mental health professional can you a safe outlet to discuss your concerns about narcissism and create a plan to act upon to gain control over your life, whether that be to understand this personality type, learn how they affect your life, or identify your own symptoms. If you think you would like to talk to someone about a narcissist in your life, but you are unsure about talking in-person, there are other kinds of resources for online counseling and mental health assistance.
One example for online counseling services is provided by BetterHelp.
Whether you or a loved one is experiencing pathological narcissism, at BetterHelp, you can access licensed, trained, experienced mental health providers who can help you learn about this personality disorder and how to cope with its effects. They often don't realize that they suffer from this personality, so reaching out to a therapist may help you understand these types of people and their impact on your life.
You can connect with them from home or anywhere else you feel comfortable, as long you have a phone or internet access.