Having an introverted personality: Am I just shy?

Introversion is a personality trait that may be misunderstood in pop culture. Introverts are habitually stereotyped as shy and socially awkward individuals who hate social interaction. However, the term can have a more intricate meaning. 

Introverts may feel the most positive energy when in solitude, potentially losing energy while in the presence of others for too long. Often, introversion is unrelated to having anxiety associated with social interactions. Understanding introversion may help you identify this trait in yourself or someone you love.

Signs that you may be an introvert

Although introversion is considered a personality theory, it is often widely accepted and discussed in popular psychology. You might relate to the following introverted traits if you're an introvert. 

You love spending time alone 

While you might enjoy time alone, this doesn't necessarily mean you don't crave human interaction. You could enjoy a busy social life but prefer the sense of peace and rejuvenation you feel at home. If alone time feels like time to recharge your brain and body, you may be an introvert.

Socializing feels exhausting, even when you enjoy it 

Contrary to introversion stereotypes, you might enjoy socializing with people. However, regardless of how much you appreciate it, you might feel more worn out and exhausted after a night with friends than in your home alone. 

You avoid making new friends but value current ones

When making friends, you might try to take the process slow. You may have a group of people you feel comfortable with and stick around them more than you try to connect with others. At a party, you might hang by a friend you already know instead of going around and talking to new people. 

You dislike small talk 

Introverts can enjoy and find it easy to talk to others, but small talk may bore these individuals. If you're an introvert, you might find unnecessary conversations tiresome and prefer to use your time more productively through interesting and mind-stimulating conversational topics. 

You dislike group work 

As an introvert, you may already have a lower tolerance for external stimulation. You might feel more creative and productive when you aren't bombarded with distractions or difficulties delegating tasks. In a group, you may desire a role where you can sit back and do your work independently instead of collaborating on every task.

You are active on social media 

While it might appear counterintuitive, introverts often succeed online, as it is a less intimate environment, and they can take their time to formulate responses. You might be an introvert if you prefer chatting with someone over a messaging platform to talking to them in person. However, this trait might also be associated with social anxiety disorder. 

You don't mind eating alone 

For some, dining alone can feel lonely. However, for introverts, eating alone might not be as significant a problem, and they may prefer this practice. Eating alone, an introvert doesn't have to talk to others, think about small talk, or lose energy. 

You feel lonelier in crowds than by yourself

It can be challenging to build deep connections with crowds of strangers and acquaintances, either with others or with yourself. Introverts may prefer to stick to smaller gatherings where they can connect with others and talk to close friends. 

You dislike networking

Introverts often appreciate existing relationships and may avoid new ones if they do not find them necessary. Networking can involve small talk and surface connections, which introverts may prefer to avoid. 

You don't see work as anything but work

When working, introverts may view their workplace as a place to get a job done rather than meet new people or chitchat. They may prefer to clock in, do their job, and go home. If coworkers are causing distractions or trying to socialize during an essential task, it might cause distress or confusion for an introvert. 

Common misconceptions about introverts

Although several traits are associated with introverts, there are also misconceptions about these individuals, including the following. 

"Introverts don't like talking" 

Despite popular belief, many introverts enjoy socializing and talking if the conversation is meaningful and interesting. Many of the world's most valued social activists, lawyers, speakers, CEOs, celebrities, and other professionals are introverts. 

"All introverts are shy" 

Shyness and introversion are not the same. Shyness can involve fear of being socially rejected or finding yourself in socially awkward situations. Introversion is the tendency to focus more on internal thoughts than on the external world. While there are introverts who are shy, some are not. Shyness is behavior and a potential feeling, whereas introversion is more of a personality trait and temperament.  

"Introverts don't like socializing" 

Introverts often enjoy socializing and making friends. However, they may have limits on their time before they head home to rejuvenate their energy. Many introverts have close friends they frequently spend time with and love. 

What type of introvert are you?

Different types of introverts may exist depending on personality traits, behaviors, thoughts, and desires. Consider the following types below to ask yourself which type of introvert you might be. 

Social introverts

Social introverts are considered talkative and easygoing around their close friends and family. They choose their friends wisely and carefully and may be honest and open with the ones they trust. They might not be considered shy but still require time to be alone and recharge after significant social meetups. 

Meeting new people can feel exciting for a social introvert, but long conversations can be exhausting. They may prefer being alone or spending time with their best friends to having too many social interactions with strangers. 

Thinking introverts

Thinking introverts may not be as overwhelmed by significant groups of people or huge social events. They often stay in a thought bubble and ignore distractions. They can spend hours considering unique ideas or concepts, including when in social situations. They may perceive the world through emotions, giving them a unique sense of empathy and intuition. 

Anxious introvert

If you go to significant lengths to avoid any form of communication, you may be an anxious introvert. Anxious introverts may feel intimidated by unnecessary conversations. They may often find themselves in awkward situations when communicating with others. 

Some introverts in this category may feel overwhelmed and stressed due to fearful thoughts. They might try to keep their social life to a minimum due to their self-consciousness or low self-esteem. An anxious introvert may benefit from trying to take small steps out of their comfort zone to interact more with others. 

Restrained introvert

Restrained introverts might not enjoy being alone but prefer to think carefully before a social interaction. They may not feel entirely uncomfortable in large groups of people. But require time to adjust to a new situation or environment.

Can introverts become extroverts?

Some people believe introversion is a trait you're born with instead of a trait you develop over time. However, you may be able to change your personality, even if you don't change your temperament. If you wish you were an extrovert, consider which parts of being an introvert make you most distressed. You might be able to discuss these topics with a professional or journal about them to understand your needs better. 

Some introverts wish they could be more outgoing. However, you don't necessarily need to be an extrovert to be this way. Like others, you may be able to learn to be more engaging and adapt better to various social situations. However, ensuring you care for your needs for self-care and alone time can still be valuable to avoid stress and burnout. 

Do introverts have unique advantages?

At times, it can seem that introverts are not appreciated or understood like extroverts. However, many influential people in the world were or are introverts and impacted society, including but not limited to Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Meryl Streep, and Emma Watson. 

In addition, introverts may succeed more naturally in some skills. For example, they may be more versatile, creative, responsible, and independent. They can take their jobs seriously and try to complete any assigned task. Regarding relationships, introverts may offer quality time and attention to the person they love. 

Being an introvert may not dictate how successful or happy you can be. Per a quote by Janis Joplin, "Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got."

Professional support for introversion and social anxiety

Introversion is not a mental health condition. However, it can come with challenges in social life. In addition, some people may mistake mental illnesses like social anxiety disorder or generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) for introversion. Regardless of the cause of your struggles, you may benefit from reaching out for support if you'd like to talk to someone about your symptoms.

Social anxiety or introversion can make it challenging to leave home, which might be a barrier to in-person therapy for some individuals. If you relate, you might benefit from online counseling through a platform like BetterHelp. Online therapy may create a safe, intimate space where introverts can freely be themselves. In addition, you can have control over your therapeutic process with the option to choose between phone, video, or live chat sessions. 

If you're feeling uncertain about online therapy, studies have found that it can be as effective as in-person options. One study found that online therapy was as effective as in-person counseling for several mental illnesses, including social anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which might lead to difficulty in social situations.