Rationalization Psychology: The Behavior And Mental Health Impacts

Life can be challenging for everyone at times, and managing the heartbreaks, disappointments, and curveballs can be difficult. Sometimes, we use a variety of defense mechanisms, such as rationalization, without even realizing it. In this article, we’ll explore how rationalization works in practice, why rationalization can be unhealthy, and what you can do to move on from rationalizing in the future.

What is rationalization?

Why rationalization is considered a defense mechanism

Rationalization is a defense mechanism because it allows us to unconsciously justify behavior that we would otherwise find objectionable with a plausible excuse. It may protect our self-esteem and reduce guilt, while allowing us to  avoid unacceptable feelings and difficult emotions. 

Why do people rationalize?

Cognitive dissonance theory and psychological discomfort

Creating “rational explanations" is a common factor in cognitive dissonance theory. This theory posits that individuals are motivated to reduce the dissonance of conflicting cognitions by modifying their attitudes. Rather than simply choosing between two actions and holding space for the less acceptable repercussions of their choice, many people will assuage discomfort by rationalizing their decision. 

When anxiety and self-image threats show up

Psychological discomfort can be difficult to experience. Individuals often cope with anxiety and other negative feelings caused by dissonance with self-deception. This allows them to preserve their self-image. 

Rationalization vs denial and motivated reasoning

Rationalization, denial, and motivated reasoning are three psychological defense mechanisms that are similar, and do overlap in some capacities. However, they vary in how they manage to deal with reality. Cognitive science, general psychology, and social psychology all study to understand these phenomena, and realize that these things don’t typically occur as a single process. 

Rationalization vs denial

Denial is an outright rejection of an uncomfortable truth or feeling, while rationalization seeks to distort it with excuses or justifications to help individuals cope. Let’s say you hurt a friend by certain actions. Denial would be telling yourself: “Oh, they’re fine…it’s not a big deal”, while denial may sound more like: “Well, I had to do what I had to do because…”

Motivated reasoning in cognitive science

Motivated reasoning is similar to rationalization, but is more of a systematic manipulation of the evidence around a certain action to support a desired conclusion. Rationalization is a largely unconscious and unpracticed scramble for excuses, while motivated reasoning seeks to make something true for your own ends. 

Types of rationalization and common patterns

There are four common types of rationalization recognized by experts. They include: 

• Formal rationality. Determining what is most important in a specific situation and what method will be most effective in reaching a certain goal. 

• Substantive rationality. Considering the value of an action through analysis of consequences and benefits. 

• Practical rationality. Reason applied to action in regard to what directs, motivates, evaluates, or predicts it. 

• Theoretical rationality. Beliefs created on evidence, arguments, and assumptions about a specific situation.

Sour grapes and sweet lemons

A classic example of rationalization comes from Aesop’s fables, and is called “sour grapes”. In the story, a fox sees a beautiful cluster of grapes, and after much wasted time and effort is unable to reach them. The end of the story has him saying to himself “well, I’m sure those grapes were sour anyway”. 

The sweet lemons rationalization is the inverse of the sour grape rationalization. In this type of rationalization, rather than convincing oneself that a potentially good outcome was negative, one strives to convince oneself that a negative outcome is actually positive to make it more palatable. 

Pattern list that people use in everyday life

Making excuses and searching for rational explanations in everyday life is common. Minimizing, deflecting, and employing whataboutism style comparisons can help us cope with negative feelings, guilt, and help preserve self-image, and protect self-esteem. However, if done consistently, there can be repercussions down the road. 

The downsides of rationalization

Rationalization becoming a pattern

Examples of rationalization in your own life

Let’s take a closer look at common examples of rationalization that you may notice in your own life. The ability to recognize that we’ve made mistakes can help us to become more self-aware, take responsibility, and build our conflict resolution skills. 

Work and achievement examples

Some common rationalizations that can happen around work or achievement include:

• I didn’t really want that job anyway–the benefits weren’t great

• I wasn’t able to finish the project because they expected too much 

• I didn’t get the part in the play because the director doesn’t like me

Parenting and childhood experiences

Rationalizations around parenting or childhood experiences may sound something like this:

• I did the best I could, times were different back then

• My parents spanked me as a child and it didn’t do me any harm

• I’m much better than a lot of other parents I know

Relationship and breakup examples

Relationship rationalizations can help us feel more in control of our own lives, and reduce the pain of an extremely painful loss or justify an unhealthy relationship. Some relationship examples include: 

• I hate everything about my ex; they’re a terrible person

• They can change

• I’ll never find love again

• The relationship would have worked if…

How rationalization affects mental health and relationships

When we make a habit of not taking responsibility for our own actions, it can negatively impact our relationship with others as well as our own mental health. 

When it becomes a problem

Patterns of rationalization can prevent us from self-awareness and self-growth. If the bad things in our lives are always the result of fate, circumstances, or other people, then we may never learn and change for the better. It can also trap us in a pattern of maladaptive coping. 

Relationship impact and conflict styles

Employing rationalization techniques in a relationship can negatively impact healthy conflict resolution and weaken emotional intimacy. By using excuses to obscure true issues within a relationship, you can end up facilitating unhealthy patterns of communication or stay in toxic situations that you would be better off leaving. By taking responsibility and facing the truth, you can build stronger relationships. 

When system justification shows up in groups and culture

In the same way that rationalization can prevent growth in the individual, social psychology realizes that system justification can prevent growth for society as a whole. Let’s take the example of American exceptionalism. If as a country, we believe that America is superior and that its many injustices and mistakes were justified, we can become trapped in a mindset that never allows us to reckon with this injustice and move forward in a significant way. 

Practical steps to recognize and reduce rationalization

If any of these rationalization examples sound familiar to you, then you might be rationalizing some of your behavior. However, whether you only rationalize on occasion or you’ve rationalized for years, it’s never too late to improve skills outside of rationalization. You might start by identifying the feelings you have been rationalizing and the types of circumstances that motivate you to tell yourself something comforting, especially if you realize that the rationalizations you’re telling yourself are different from reality.

Taking the first step

This initial step can be painful, but it may also be an empowering moment of self-discovery. As you examine your rationalizations, you may find that there are many situations you have rationalized that you have the power to change. Breaking free from rationalization can show you that you have the power to create a better future for yourself. As a result, you may find that you can live a happier, more authentic life away from rationalization.

Name the emotion, then test the story

When you recognize that you’re stuck in a habit of avoiding uncomfortable emotions through rationalization, you can begin to take action. The first step is to allow yourself to sit with an uncomfortable feeling. Put a name to what you are feeling: is it guilt? Anger? Anxiety? Next, test the story behind this feeling. Be intentional about how you are framing it, and test the truth behind the framing. Next, reframe thinking to fit the truth of the situation. It can be difficult to do at first because rationalization helps protect you from unacceptable feelings. However, if you practice self-compassion, you may find that it may make a difference in your everyday life. 

Repair steps after rationalizing in relationships

When your rationalizations have been impacting your relationship, taking responsibility can be an important first step toward repairing challenges. Be open and honest with your partner about any issues that you have. You may also find it helpful to work with a relationship therapist to help navigate the next steps, especially if one or both of you has used rationalization for a long time to ignore intimacy problems or avoid communication. 

How therapy can help you stop rationalizing

If you want to deconstruct this thought pattern and reach your full potential, you don’t have to do it on your own. There are licensed therapists with experience helping people through the process of exploring rationalization. Individuals often cope with difficult emotions by using rationalization, and professional therapists can have great understanding and experience with support strategies that change these behaviors. However, if the thought of going to a therapist’s office to discuss sensitive topics creates discomfort in you, you might try online therapy, which research has shown to be just as effective as traditional in-office therapy. 

Online therapy

With BetterHelp, you can engage in therapy via phone or videoconferencing from the comfort of your home at a time that works for you. Additionally, you can write to your therapist at any time via in-app messaging, and they’ll respond as soon as they are able. 

Licensed counselors at BetterHelp can guide you through a specialized treatment plan that can help you work through your thought processes and develop new, healthy coping mechanisms. As you learn these new patterns of behavior, you may find that you can live your life with more authenticity and freedom.