What Is Self Psychology?

“Self” can be a difficult thing to explain or define, but it is generally a person’s perception of who they are. It was developed by Austrian-American psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut and is a process based on the idea that most psychological problems could be traced back to a lack of parental empathy and a supportive environment. 

Self psychology, psychoanalysis, and relational approaches

Self psychology has roots in psychoanalysis and the theories of Sigmund Freud. Freud believed that many of the mental health challenges that people face were the result of unconscious thoughts and feelings. In psychology, psychoanalysis was developed as a way of having people talk about their past experiences, memories, and dreams as a way of determining what is causing their conditions.

Kohut’s departure from drive-based models

According to Freud, many of the problems that people experienced had sexual origins. He believed that a child’s development of sexual identity could be impacted by too much or too little gratification in various phases of childhood. 

The idea that sexual drives drove behavior remained popular for decades. Then, in the 1970s, psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut was dissatisfied with some of the results he was getting with Freud's method, so he developed his own perspective.

Core concepts in self psychology theory

Kohut believed that mental and emotional challenges resulted from a lack of parental empathy. This led Kohut to focus on empathizing with the patient. Rather than the psychoanalyst imposing their interpretations of a person’s dreams, memories, and experiences, self psychology instead strives to understand these from the patient's perspective.

The self and self-cohesion

An important aspect of self psychology is helping the patient develop a sense of self so they avoid seeking ways to compensate for a lack of self. Kohut focuses on how individuals experience others as part of their own self. He referred to these as self-objects, of which there are three: 

• Mirroring
• Idealizing
• Twinship

Selfobject needs and unmet needs: Idealizing, mirroring, and twinship

Below, we take a closer look at the three self-objects in Kohut’s theory.

• Mirroring. Mirroring is the need to feel seen and valued by others. Without it, children may require external approval to find self-worth. When mirroring is absent or inconsistent, self-esteem can become fragile and contingent on others' validation. 
• Idealizing. Idealizing is the need to feel connected to someone or something more powerful than oneself and to draw strength from that connection. Through idealization, children internalize qualities such as wisdom, perseverance, or steadiness, building their own inner resources over time. Without adequate opportunities for idealization, children may struggle to self-soothe or find meaning in life, and may depend on others to regulate them.
• Twinship. Twinship is the need to feel a sense of sameness and belonging with others or to recognize oneself in another. It can help ensure that a child feels neither alone nor fundamentally different from everyone else. Kohut suggested that this need was linked to the lifelong human drive to seek out communities, relationships, and shared experiences. If twinship needs go unmet, it can result in a deep and persistent sense of alienation.

Self psychology and narcissistic personality disorders

Self psychology also offers an interesting reframing of narcissistic personality disorders (NPD), shifting the focus away from unmet developmental needs.

How Kohut conceptualized narcissism development

Kohut believed that narcissistic personality disorders may be caused by parents' lack of beingthere for their children and serving as healthy support systems as the child grows into an adult. This does not necessarily mean that every child of "unavailable" parents or guardians will develop narcissism, but it may hinder them later in life. Some people can rise above this, while others may struggle.

Therapy goals and common focus areas

The therapeutic process aims to help people with NPD work through childhood development that may have been left incomplete. By building a consistent, supportive therapeutic relationship with the client, the therapist serves as a corrective self-object, providing an empathetic presence that the client didn’t have in childhood. At times, clients may internalize this experience and learn healthier relationship patterns.

Limits and critiques to acknowledge

Self psychology gives a unique perspective on NPD that may have some limitations. Critics argue that this take on NPD ”fails to take into account the complex and dynamic inner world of the narcissist and the defensive function of narcissism.”

Where this approach fits today

Kohut’s theories on self psychology continue to inform modern contemporary practice. His ideas remain foundational in modern psychology, and his core ideas about empathy and developmental needs have been absorbed into various aspects of the field.

How it relates to other psychological theories and modern practice

Self psychology shares meaningful common ground with several tenets of modern practice. For example, its emphasis on early relational experiences aligns closely with attachment theory, while its focus on empathy aligns with modern trauma-informed therapy. Self psychology's influence can also be traced in schema therapy and other emotionally focused approaches.

Learning more and reading a list

If you’re interested in learning more about self psychology, consider the resources below:

• The Disorders of the Self and Their Treatment by Heniz Kohut and Ernest Wolf

• Heinz Kohut and the Psychology of the Self by Allen M. Siegel and Paige LaCava (Psychology Press, 2024)

• International Association for Psychoanalytic Self Psychology (IAPSP)

The importance of self

Self psychology centers around the importance of self because that is what determines one's health, well-being, relationships, and other aspects of life. Society tends to place a significant amount of weight on external factors and circumstances; however, in most cases, external things can be changed, influenced, or moved by oneself.

The inner essence of self is important because it determines what we accept in life, how we treat other people, and what we attract into our lives. In other words, you often attract what you are. Someone who is strong, confident, and able to function both with others and on their own is more likely to attract positive outcomes and make decisions that generate favorable circumstances. Conversely, someone who struggles with their sense of self and self-worth may be more likely to make decisions that are destructive and attract harmful individuals and influences into their lives.

Online counseling with BetterHelp

If you feel as though you are struggling to develop a strong, healthy sense of self, it may be beneficial to connect with a professional. At BetterHelp, an online counseling platform, you can speak with a therapist from your home or wherever you feel most comfortable. We’re all unique individuals, and you may have specific preferences or needs when it comes to your therapeutic experience. You can choose to talk to your therapist through video calls, phone calls, or in-app messaging. You can also pick a therapist who specializes in a certain area and connect at a time that works for you and your busy schedule. 

The efficacy of online counseling 

Online counseling may allow you to receive more personalized care for your mental health without taking away its efficacy, and research shows that it can be as effective as in-person treatment. For example, one study that compared online and in-person treatment for people with depression symptoms found that there were “no significant differences between in-person and telehealth groups in depressive symptom reduction, and significant increases in self-reported quality of life across both groups.”