How To Avoid Double Standards In Relationships

Updated October 22, 2018

Reviewer Christy B.

Double standards can become the deadly virus in a relationship under certain circumstances. The term means expecting someone to act a certain way based on their gender, race, appearance, or reputation, and a feeling that when that certain way is not followed, it becomes a taboo. In an intimate relationship, double standards usually refer to how each gender expects their opposite to act, generally in a sexual manner.


For example, if a man prefers a woman who has been frugal in dating though he has not been, then he is exemplifying a double standard. Despite popular belief, this type of behavior is just as likely to come from women as it does from men. In fact, it is ignorance from both sides that can end a relationship.

How to Avoid Double Standards in a Relationship

A key concept to remember is that double standards can come in all forms, regardless of the length in your relationship or the type of person that you're dating.

It can pose as a sort of hypocrisy. In the article, "Beware the Double Standard", an example was presented that a woman may want a man to always answer the phone when she calls him, but she would never do the same for him.

It is this type of double standard that can irritate a relationship, but the more often these double standards occur and the more significant the hypocrisy, the more likely the relationship will fail because of it.


The most efficient and successful way of avoiding double standards in a relationship is to communicate with one another. Let your partner know why you expect them to do certain things and express your feelings of insecurities.

There may be a reason why your partner is acting the way that they are or they may be unaware that they are being double standards. Let them know that you feel like you are not being listened to or that you feel you are being taken advantage of.


It is also best to see through your partner's point of view. What could they be going through that gives them the reason to expect what they are expecting or to want what they are wanting? This will better help you understand their needs and work with them.

If you feel like your partner is being unreasonable and it is seriously affecting your relationship, couples counseling is available through Better Help

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