How To Know When Your Romantic Relationship Is Over: Real-Life Ways To Cope

The end of an intimate relationship is often one of the hardest times we’ll face in our lives. This could be especially true if we believed that our relationship was leading us somewhere, like down the path of lasting love, toward marriage, or toward having a family. When you start to see signs your relationship is in trouble, you may want to ignore them. You might also decide to work with your partner to overcome them, or you might decide to end things. 

When a breakup occurs, it can be hard to move past the pain we feel, but it’s possible to learn from that experience, grow, and come out better on the other side. It can be helpful to practice self-care, exercise, and talk to someone, whether that be a friend, family, or mental health professional. One simple way to connect with a licensed therapist may be through an online therapy platform, where you can get the help you deserve from the convenience of your own home.

How to know when a relationship is over

Instead of trying to hang on to a partnership that may have run its course, it can be important to understand that intimate relationships may come to an end for many reasons. 

In most cases, it has to do with changing desires, personal growth, or circumstances beyond one’s control. Sometimes, two people simply grow apart and find they’re better as friends. No matter the reason, there are often indicators that the relationship may not be working for one or both partners.

How do we know when love is gone? The signs of a failing relationship can be hard to see if you’re unaware of what to look for. In addition, the reasons one relationship might fail can differ from why another relationship doesn’t work out. However, certain patterns of behavior can let you know whether it might be time for the both of you to go your separate ways. The following are some important signs that may signal the end of your intimate relationship.

Lots of petty arguments

Many couples find that the number of arguments about seemingly little things will increase toward the end of a relationship, especially when arguments seem to come out of the blue. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but constant arguments may make it untenable. As a result, both parties might decide that ending the relationship is the best step to take. 

Always working late

Although it can be normal that you or your partner might need to stay late at work sometimes because your job demands it, some people use working late as an excuse not to come home and face their partner. If your significant other has suddenly started working tons of overtime that isn’t mandatory, this could be a sign that they are losing interest in the relationship.

Hiding their phone

If your partner used to grant you permission to their phone but now hides it and prevents you from seeing or using it, this may be a sign that they may have plans or interests that don’t include you.

Sudden changes in behavior

Do you find yourself wondering where your partner has gone because their behavior has changed so much? For instance, they once were always eager to spend time with you, but now they seem to prefer being alone or with others. These behavioral changes could be warning signs that their feelings about the relationship have changed.

Obvious lack of interest

If your partner used to shower you with affection but is not putting in nearly as much effort, this might be a sign that the relationship is close to the end.

They tell you it’s over

If your partner starts jokingly (or seriously) dropping hints that they want to end your intimate relationship, they might be signaling their true intentions. Pay attention to whether breakup teasing and hints have become a regular part of your routine. If your partner drops these hints frequently, they may be trying to tell you something. If you’re the one making those jokes, you might want to examine whether you’re serious about ending it or not.

No conversation

A lack of communication could be a sign of waning emotional connection. If your partner suddenly stops filling you in on all the little important details of their life like they used to, they may be thinking about ending the relationship. This silence can become hard to ignore, reflecting a growing gap between you and your partner.

Making excuses

Has your partner been making tons of excuses for not answering your calls, abruptly canceling dates, or not remembering important milestones? Honest communication is an important part of all healthy relationships. Being quick to make excuses could be a telltale sign that a committed relationship may no longer be their number one priority.

Decrease in physical intimacy

Physical closeness, from holding hands to having intimate moments, is an important part of a romantic relationship. A noticeable decline in physical intimacy or avoidance of affection may indicate waning attraction or emotional distance. While it's natural for the intensity of intimacy to ebb and flow over time, a consistent lack of physical connection might signal deeper problems in the relationship.

Now that we’ve covered some of the most common signs that a relationship might be in trouble, the next step may be to learn how to pick up the pieces if the relationship has ended. The following are three real-life coping tips and strategies that can help you recover when your intimate relationship ends in a breakup.

Three ways to cope when your intimate relationship is over

1. Practice self-care

When an intimate relationship ends, different people tend to have different strategies for dealing with their emotions. Some people tend to isolate themselves, while others turn to friends and family to help them feel better. At times like these, we often revert to what makes us feel most comfortable, including going out with friends or snuggling up on the couch with pizza and a movie.

Grief is often a part of the breakup process, so feeling unsteady and wanting to be alone can be a normal reaction. However, an important thing to remember may be that you can use this time when you’re alone to care for yourself.

2. Exercise

The last thing you may want to do after a painful breakup is to exercise. However, exercising is likely one of the things that can help you feel better. Exercising can relieve the stress that may come with a life change, and it typically produces endorphins that can boost your mood.

Getting your blood flowing can keep your mind and body limber, and you don’t have to do anything particularly vigorous. A simple ten-minute walk can help ease your mind, center your thoughts, and stave off uncomfortable feelings like anxiety or sadness. This can be especially important for people who have mental health conditions, the symptoms of which might worsen after a breakup.

3. Talk to someone

When a breakup produces painful emotions, it’s generally normal to want to seek emotional support. Talking through your feelings with a trusted friend or family can help you process the breakup and potentially start to move on with life.

To help you gain valuable insights as you grieve the loss of a relationship or address other life challenges, you might consider talking to a licensed mental health professional. You can do this in person, if that suits you better, or through an online therapy platform. Taking part in online therapy can help you learn new coping strategies for managing the emotions that come with the loss of an intimate relationship. A licensed therapist can also provide advice and support as you learn from this experience and grow as a person.

Online therapy can be a great option for people who want to connect with a therapist from the comfort of home, and studies have shown that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions. You can participate in sessions via live chat, phone call, or voice call, and you’ll typically have the option to message your therapist outside of sessions. A therapist can guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult life change.