How To Move On From A Relationship
Updated September 02, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers
Breaking up with someone is never easy, and being the one who got dumped can sometimes be even tougher. Take a look at the following advice about how to move on from a relationship and start healing with healthy habits, coping skills, and support. A breakup can make it tough for some people to move on, and they wind up getting stuck in a rut for years. You put a lot of focus on your romantic relationships in life and it can feel absolutely horrible when things don’t go as planned.
You might have even loved this person that you used to be in a relationship with. No one wants to feel like they’re living in the past, but sometimes you don’t realize what you’re doing to yourself until it’s become a huge problem.
Let Yourself Have Feelings
Some people hold onto emotional baggage for many years due to not letting themselves process emotions from a previous relationship. You are going to feel emotional after breaking up with someone in most situations. Some people will feel a sense of relief if a relationship was really negative, and others will feel very sad if they loved the person that they were with. It doesn’t really matter what your emotions are. It just matters that you allow yourself to feel. It's important to let our feelings come and go. Trying to avoid feelings does not make them go away-in fact, it often makes them stronger.
Take the time to be sad if you need to. Allow yourself to cry and know that this doesn’t make you weak or unusual. Gender has nothing to do with how you process emotions from a breakup either-it's completely normal for boys and men to cry after a relationship ends. You need to be honest about your feelings so that you can get it all out. It’s fine to be in a negative place when something like this happens so long as you don’t try to stay there too long. Be ready to process your emotions and know that you don’t have to do this alone. As you accept your emotions and let yourself feel them, they can start to fade away. It should allow you to get yourself to a better place so that you can love again.
Let Your Support System Help
Your support system is going to be a big part of helping you to move on after you have gone through a breakup. People need to have a support system in place for moments just like this, and they want to be there for you, too. If you have people that you can turn to when you’re feeling down, then you’re going to have a much better time getting over everything. Your people will be there for you and they can help you with many things. Sometimes you just might want to vent, and other times, it might be more about seeing advice. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family when you’re going through a situation like this.
Get Rid of Things That Remind You of the Relationship
Don’t make the mistake of hanging onto things that remind you of your relationship. Some people might not be bothered by this, but if you’re having trouble moving on, then it isn’t going to be good to have a bunch of your ex-partner’s stuff in your house. Kindly ask your ex-partner to come to get their things. If they don’t oblige after a certain amount of time has passed, then you shouldn’t feel guilty about throwing things out or donating them. You don’t need reminders of your past relationship putting you in a bad space mentally. Also, it can be detrimental to have other people’s things around for when you want to start dating again.
Take Time for Self-Assessment
Taking time for self-assessment can also make it easier to move on and start healing. Being able to be honest with yourself about what happened in your past relationship is crucial. You might have done everything right and been a fantastic partner. It’s also possible that you could have made mistakes and that learning from those mistakes could make you a better person moving forward. After you have had time to process your emotions, it’s going to be healthy to do some self-assessment. If you have regrets and know that you did certain things wrong, then you can acknowledge your faults and promise yourself that you’ll do better next time.
Focus on Your Health
Focusing on your health is going to be a good way to help you to move on, too. Don’t worry if you’re not feeling great about yourself right now. When your relationship ends it’s easy to fall into bad habits and stop working out. You might have turned to comfort food if you’re having a hard time with how things went down-and that's normal too. After you’ve had a bit of time to pick up the pieces, it’s going to be beneficial to start focusing on your health again. Making healthy choices will put you in a better place mentally and it’ll definitely help you physically.
Try to come up with a wellness routine that will make sense for your lifestyle. If you have certain conditions, then it might be prudent to discuss an exercise regiment with your doctor before getting started with it. You want to do things as safely as you can while finding healthy, sustainable habits that will help you to meet your health goals. It’s going to be great to get healthy, and it’ll give you a confidence boost as you consider moving on and starting to date someone new. You can feel positive about your body while also ensuring that you have more stamina to tackle everyday life responsibilities. It’s also fantastic when it comes to reducing stress levels and alleviating mild anxiety symptoms.
Exercise isn’t the only area that you need to focus on, though. If possible, you could examine your diet too. Focus on what kinds of foods you eat that make you feel great. Some people enjoy a high-protein diet, while others feel best with lots of fruit and vegetables. Many nutrient-dense foods that are good for our bodies can also do wonders for our moods. Ensuring that you drink enough water each day can also help you feel better and sleep better. Being mindful of what you’re putting in your body can be a form of self care, if you acknowledge that you are deserving of delicious, nourishing, filling foods.
Hobbies Help a Lot
Hobbies help a lot as well because they give you something fun to focus on, and can help you develop your sense of self. If you can find a new hobby, then you can focus on that and stop worrying about your past relationships or stresses. You might even already have some hobbies that you just haven’t been able to enjoy in a long time. You might be an avid reader or you could enjoy playing basketball. Hobbies are fun and you can take up new hobbies if you feel that you have the time for it. Hobbies are something you do that's just for you and just for fun or relaxation. Taking some time out of your week to have fun again will make you feel better and it’ll be easy to find a new passion if you’re looking for one. There is a long list of great hobbies to participate in and it’s up to you to decide which ones appeal to you.
Start Dating Again
Start dating again only once you feel like you’re absolutely ready for it. It is actually very negative to date again when you aren’t over your ex-partner. If you decide to date again too soon, then you could wind up hurting someone nice by not being able to dedicate yourself to the relationship. Or, you could further upset yourself by forcing your bottled-up emotions to come out when you haven't prepared for them. You don’t want that and you want to make sure that you’re really going to be in the right place mentally before you seek someone new. Process your emotions and take some time for yourself to just enjoy being by yourself. Once you feel that you have had enough time, it’s going to be time to move on and find someone nice to date again.
There are many places that you can go to meet singles in your area. Some people meet other singles at the grocery store and others just meet people through mutual acquaintances. Online dating is also an option where you could easily find people who are looking for dates in your area. Just take things slow and get to know someone before jumping into a serious relationship. If you are able to use the lesson of the past effectively, then you should be able to enjoy a better relationship this time around.
Therapy is a good thing to consider for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a relationship. Healing doesn’t come easily for some people and you might be haunted by regrets. Don’t worry if you’re having a hard time because many people have been in your situation before. Many of us have not learned a safe, comfortable, and healthy way to talk about or process emotions. You’re not alone and you can turn to a skilled therapist for assistance. A therapist is going to be able to help you to unpack all of the emotional baggage that you have associated with your past relationship. You might need to deal with that before you’re ever going to be able to truly move on and love again.
Thankfully, finding a therapist that will be able to help you is going to be decidedly easy. You can find a local therapist and go to a traditional therapy office. It’s also possible to find an online therapist by going to platforms such as BetterHelp. This is a great way to get therapy because you don’t even have to leave your house, and you have many more options of how you talk to. It’s convenient and affordable. It’s time to move on from the things that are holding you back in life, whether that's a past relationship or something else. You can find the help that you need and you’ll always be able to count on your therapist to guide you through tumultuous times in your life.
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