10 Signs That You Might Be In A Negative Relationship
Updated August 27, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Ann-Marie Duncan
Not all relationships are going to be inherently healthy. If you find yourself questioning whether your relationship is good for you or not, then there is a good chance that you’re in a negative relationship. Many people wind up in negative relationships and they don’t even realize what is happening. You might have started dating someone sweet at first and then you found out that they changed a lot as time went on. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to take care of yourself and to ensure that you’re safe. Take a look at the following ten signs that you might be in a negative relationship to learn about what you should be looking out for.
- Your Partner Takes and Never Gives
One telltale sign that you are in a toxic relationship is when your partner takes and never gives. Do you seem to always be the one who is giving in the relationship? This could involve giving compliments or gifts and it could also refer to who is paying for things when you go out. You might find that your partner isn’t a very giving lover either. Healthy relationships need to have “give and take.”
- Your Partner Doesn’t Trust You
Trust issues are also quite problematic because they can be a sign of larger issues with your partner. Does your partner always seem to accuse you of things even when there is no reason to do so? If someone doesn’t trust you, then why are they in a relationship with you? Romantic relationships are built on trust and if you don’t have that base, then it’s going to be hard to move forward together. Some people might have baggage from the past that causes them to be less trusting than normal, but this still doesn’t bode well for your future together.
- Extreme Jealousy Issues
Jealousy issues might start to take center stage when you are in a negative relationship. Many people who are in a toxic relationship will note that their partners are constantly worried about infidelity. This could happen even if you didn’t do anything to make your partner think you would stray from them. To be clear, this is not referring to the type of jealousy that someone might feel when they see another person flirting with you. This type of jealousy is simply unreasonable, and it even has the potential to be dangerous. Your partner needs to learn to control this jealousy if you’re ever going to have a shot at a healthy relationship.
Has your partner gone off on friends of yours just because they are jealous of them? Sometimes extremely jealous partners will try to place restrictions on their partners because of how they feel. They might attempt to dictate which friends you can have or who it is acceptable to spend time with. This is a very volatile behavior that should not be tolerated. Someone who is taking things to this extreme is remarkably close to becoming abusive. No one benefits from being in a toxic relationship like this and you should consider finding a way out if you’re concerned about the way that things are trending.
- Arguing is a Regular Thing
This is a potential sign that you’re in a toxic relationship, but it depends on the type of arguing that you’re doing. Honestly, couples fight and it doesn’t have to mean that you’re in a bad relationship with someone if you fight from time to time. However, you have to realize that fighting can come from a positive and negative place. Some arguments might occur because you’re passionate about wanting your partner to be better because you believe in them. If someone is arguing purely because they like to argue or because they enjoy being mean, then that’s a different story entirely. If arguing is an incredibly regular part of your relationship, then it might be time to start thinking about things differently.
- Your Partner Judges You Constantly
Do you feel like your partner is very judgmental? This could be a telling sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. Relationships are meant to be positive and you shouldn’t have to feel like your partner is constantly trying to tear you down. Emotional abuse is a serious matter and someone who is overly critical and rude to others can ride the line of being a jerk and truly being emotionally abusive. Either way, you might not want to date someone that fits this description.
- Your Partner Has Selfish Tendencies
Selfish people aren’t going to be good candidates for dating for various reasons. If someone seems to be very selfish, then they might not care much about your needs or feelings. You’ll often realize that selfish partners will just do what they want instead of focusing on what you would like to do. They might not even ask your input when choosing things such as which movie to go see or what to eat for dinner. These might seem like minor quibbles, but they can be small signs of a greater trend. You don’t want to date someone selfish because your needs are never going to matter as much as they should.
- You Feel Like You’re “Walking On Eggshells”
Do you feel nervous and not like yourself when you’re around your partner? Many people who are in abusive relationships feel this way. You might feel as if you have to “walk on eggshells” around your partner to avoid having them freak out on you. If your partner is prone to angry outbursts, then that’s certainly a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. You’re supposed to feel loved in a relationship and having to be afraid on a daily basis is not right. Some negative relationships are this bad, but not all of them are taken to this level. If you’re dating someone who is angry and unhinged, then this could be the sign that you most clearly relate to.
- There is No Support
You’ve probably heard that having a support system in place is a good thing. Couples are supposed to support each other through thick and thin. You should feel like your partner is going to be there for you no matter what positive and negative life events occur. People who are in toxic relationships aren’t able to feel this level of support, generally speaking. A bad partner will not care about supporting you and they won’t take steps to make you feel better if you’ve had a bad day. Someone who doesn’t care for you enough to be there when you need it the most is not a good romantic partner.
- Codependent Relationships
You could also be in a negative relationship that is quite different. Codependent relationships are different because they involve one person dedicating themselves to pleasing the other party without worrying about anything else. This is not healthy and someone can love you too much and put themselves in a bad position. The term codependent relationship comes from one person needing to have someone to love and the other feeling a need to be loved. If you worry that you’re in a codependent relationship, then it might be best to think about changing things with the help of a professional.
- Therapy Might Be Able to Help
In some situations, therapy might be able to help you to turn things around. Some relationships might be fine in certain ways while being negative in others. If you care about your partner and you want things to work, then couples’ therapy could be a good option for you. This is a way for you to learn about what is going wrong in your relationship so that you can take steps to fix it. A therapist can work with you as a couple to help you improve your communication while also addressing other issues that might be present. It can take time to fix a negative relationship, but it can be done depending on if you both want it.
If the relationship is very negative and you feel that you’re in danger, then please reach out for help. You don’t have to stay in a relationship that makes you feel like you’re uncomfortable or like you can’t be who you’re meant to be. No one owns you and no one should ever try to make you feel bad about yourself. Know that help is available if you feel that you need it. There are many resources that you can take advantage of if you’re being physically or emotionally abused. After you’ve made it to a safe place, a therapist can help you to cope with things and move forward.
Online therapy, like BetterHelp, has helped many people to move on after coming out of a negative relationship. Sometimes these relationships are harmful and other times they’re simply disappointing. Whatever your situation is like, it’s going to be good to know that there is help that you can count on. Online therapists allow you to get therapy from the comfort of home at convenient prices. Traditional therapy at an office location is also effective if you would prefer that. Help is always available to you and you never have to feel like you’re alone or like you’re stuck in a negative relationship.
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