Characteristics Of Resilience: What Makes Resilient People Recover And Bounce Back?

After experiencing a setback, challenge, or even tragedy, some people can overcome these challenges and recoverseem to have a remarkable ability to bounce back. This is called resilience: the process of overcoming and successfully adapting to challenging life experiences. 

Resilient people tend to draw on a range of skills and resources to face life’s challenges and move forward, and they may even use difficult experiences as a source of strength and growth. Research indicates that there are several factors that can contribute to resilience, including developmental, genetic, psychological, and environmental factors. However, resilience is a skill that anyone can learn. 

In this article, we will explore some of the common characteristics of resilient people and how you can learn to cultivate resilience. 

Key characteristics of resilient people

While everyone is different, and even resilient people may handle challenges in their own way, there are several common characteristics that can support resilience. Resilient people do not necessarily have all these characteristics, but they are likely to exhibit a few. 

They have strong social support

Research shows that resilient people often have strong social support and are willing to ask for help. There are many aspects of social support, including how large a person’s social network is, how often they see each other, and how emotionally supported they feel. Those with strong social support are less likely to develop mental health disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, in response to difficult times. In contrast, people with less social support are more likely to develop mental health disorders, like post-traumatic stress disorder or depression, in response to difficult times.

Having strong connections with people you trust and feel comfortable with can help you remember that you’re not alone when encountering challenges; you know that you have people to turn to for love and support.  

They treat themselves with self-compassion

Self-compassion is treating yourself with forgiveness, gentleness, and kindness instead of shame, guilt, and judgment. Research suggests that self-compassion can be a buffer against the negative effects of emotional challenges, and that cultivating self-compassion may strengthen resilience.  

Like anyone, resilient people may make mistakes and have flaws and may not always get it right, but because they have self-compassion, they can forgive themselves and keep trying to make better decisions in the future. They can treat themselves with kindness and move forward. 

They are skilled at emotion regulation

Emotion regulation refers to the process of assessing and managing your emotions and how you express them. Research has shown that emotion regulation is a significant predictor of resilience. 

Experiencing difficult emotions like stress, uncertainty, disappointment, and frustration can all be natural when facing challenges, but resilient people are often skilled at managing their emotional responses so they don’t lose themselves and can maintain control. Emotion regulation, like resilience, can be a learned skill.

They have a moral compass

Resilient people often have a strong moral compass guiding their decision-making. A moral compass is an internal belief system that. It sometimes can involve religion or spirituality and is often influenced by culture and individual experiences, but it doesn't have to. Some may have a strong sense of what they believe is right and wrong and will not go against their morals under any circumstances. For some, the drive to do the moral, ethical thing may be the basis of their moral compass.

People with a strong moral compass may feel like their life has more purpose. They may feel driven to do the right thing to help make the world a better place. When you believe your actions have meaning and you’re fueled by a sense of purpose, it can help you become more resilient. 

They have strong problem-solving skills

Strong problem-solving skills are also common in people who are resilient. Resilient people can step back and ask themselves, “What can I do here? How can I tackle this roadblock ahead of me?” One study found that as self-confidence and mental resilience increase, so do problem-solving skills, indicating that problem-solving skills are strongly related to resilience.

Resilience can prompt people to look at a situation and ask what they can do to navigate it, instead of focusing on what they can’t control. Solving problems may increase self-esteem and self-confidence, helping resilient people feel they can overcome life’s challenges.

They feel in control

People with resilience may have an internal locus of control, meaning they believe that their actionsthings they do and their choices have an impactcan influence how things turn out. In contrast, people with an external locus of control may see their lives as being controlled more by outside forces and may not believe their actions can contribute much to a positive outcome. They may think more in terms of random luck or chance, implying that they can do little to change their situation. 

People who are resilient often view themselves as in control of their lives. They know that when lifethings gets difficulttough, they can make decisions that help them weather the challenge until they make it through.

They practice self-care

Self-care is also an effective way to help manage stress. By exercising, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, relaxing, and making time for fun, you can help manage your mental health so you can better focus on any problems that arise in the future.

A part of self-care is also knowing who you are and what you can handle and setting boundaries accordingly. Knowing when you’re reaching your limit and need to shift gears can help you grow more resilient.

They are optimistic

Resilience and optimism are also often connected, and studies have found that resilience and optimism can reinforce each other. Having a positive outlook can help you to see the good in situations and expect positive outcomes, rather than seeing the bad and anticipating the negative. 

By seeing the positivesgood even in difficult situations and remaining optimistic about yourself and your life, you may be more equipped to cope with challenges and maintain hope for the future. 

They use humor

Using humor can also be helpful for coping with challenges and boosting resilience. Many people going through a challenging time find it useful to use humor to cope, and studies show it can protect against stress.

Research also shows that people with a good sense of humor respond to stress better, experience less anxiety and depression, and can view even difficult situations with amusement and levity. People can use their sense of humor to find positives in stressful situations, shifting their perspective so they can feel less helpless.

What resilience is not

People may have misconceptions about resilience. They may assume that everything comes easy to resilient people or that they can handle difficultiesthings entirely on their own, but this is not the casethese things are not true. 

Resilience does not mean the person will not experience distress when facing challenging times. People who go through traumatic, life-changing events are likely to experience deep pain and stress, regardless of how resilient they are. They also don’t face their problems alone. Resilient people often have strong support systems that they are willing to turn to when they need help.

Some people may also think that resilience is an inherent personality trait, and that only some people are resilient, and others simply aren’t and never can be. This is also incorrect.

Learn how to be more resilient in online therapy

If you would like support in cultivating resilience, a therapist can help you work through negative thoughts and emotional reactions to gain a new perspective and learn how to deal with life’s challenges more effectively. It may take time and effort, but you and your therapist can work together to set realistic expectations and foster greater resilience. 

You can meet with a therapist in person or online, depending on your preferences and needs. For some people who have recently experienced a major life challenge, some of the steps involved in seeking therapy in person may feel difficult or draining, and online therapy can be a convenient alternative. With online therapy through BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist online based on your needs and then have sessions wherever you have an internet connection, including the comfort of home.  

Plus, research has demonstrated the effectiveness of online therapy for concerns including resilience. One research study investigated the efficacy of a web-based intervention for resilience, and it found that all participants demonstrated significant improvements in resilience, well-being, and self-esteem, “thereby confirming the beneficial effects of the web-based resilience intervention.”