10 Tips To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Updated October 7, 2022 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Self-confidence is a skill that you nourish and train; it is not something you gain overnight. Some people will have a big amount of self-confidence naturally, and it'll show in how they behave and handle situations. However, some people go through traumas or bad experiences that take a toll on their self-confidence, potentially leaving them with low self esteem.

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How you see yourself and treat yourself defines how others will treat you. Self-confidence is an important trait of success because it pushes you to be your best self, to take risks, and to get people to say yes to you. Speaking with an online therapist can help you develop the tools to help boost your self esteem. 

Let's go through a few tips that can help you boost your self-confidence or self esteem, helping you lead a better and healthier lifestyle.

10 Tips To Boost Your Self-Confidence:

  1. Shut down negative thoughts:

"It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts." Robert H. Schuller

It's about time you said goodbye to the negative voices in your head. Whenever you have a negative thought about yourself, your job, or your career, you push yourself down a little bit more. You need to stop listening to the negativity and start replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones.

Instead of saying you can't do this or that, tell yourself you can, and sooner or later, you'll start believing it. Negativity only leads to negativity; it demotivates you to be your best or do any good. So next time you get a negative thought, quickly replace it with a positive one. And then, when you have that positive thought, turn it into action.

  1. Surround yourself with positivity:

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." Oprah Winfrey

It's not just enough to have positive thoughts and implement them. The people around you and in your life have a huge influence on your self-confidence. Surround yourself with people who push you up and push you towards what you want in life, not people that make you feel bad about yourself.

Your environment, family, and friends can make all the difference in how you feel about yourself. They are the main pillar in encouraging you to believe in yourself. So, it's time to clean your contacts list. Pull out all the bad weeds that negatively take you down and make you feel bad.

3. Learn how to say "NO":

"One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging limited beliefs.” Nathaniel Branden

You need to take control of your own life and decisions. Don't be bullied into doing something that'll make you feel uncomfortable and go beyond your boundaries. Be assertive and don't be afraid to say no when you need to.

You may think that you're being mean or don't want to upset someone. You might come up with a list of excuses as to why you should say yes. But the truth is, saying yes to something you don’t want to do will only hurt yourself and your confidence.

  1. It's time for a makeover:

"We know grooming is important to people. To get their hair done, to get makeup and things like that - that makes a person feel better." Kenneth Williams

In this point, we're going to put forward the opposite idea of "change happens from inside out." This doesn't mean you have to get an actual makeover or dress in pricey clothes. But even the simplest changes in our image can make us feel good about ourselves.

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For example, try a new hairdo, get a haircut, shave this morning, or even wear that t-shirt you think you look good in. Making little tweaks to your self-image will make you feel good on the inside too. So yes, sometimes how you look on the outside matters.

  1. Change how you see yourself:

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Norman Vincent Peale

We behave and feel according to our self-image. So if you feel like you're a loser at life, you'll walk with your shoulders slumped and avoid eye contact. If you feel like you're not physically attractive, you'll avoid looking in mirrors, and so on. Changing how you see yourself, realizing your self worth, and working on your body language, eye contact, and speech will make you more confident in yourself. We must all remember that nobody's perfect in life.

Identify the aspects of your image you don't like and see what you can do about them. Alternatively, you can try focusing on the things you do like about your self-image and saying them out loud to yourself until you believe it. Be confident in the way you carry yourself, even if you don't necessarily feel that way just yet. Pull your shoulders back, stand tall, and talk slowly and clearly. How you act in front of others will not only make them think you're confident but will boost your confidence.

  1. Do something risky once a week:

"Do not fear mistakes. There are none." Miles Davis

You can't keep safe in your bubble forever. You need to put yourself out there - to get both rejected and accepted. Taking risks — even when they are totally random — doesn't necessarily mean going bungee jumping or mountain climbing. But take yourself out of your comfort zone. Talk to that girl you've always had a crush on or get that tattoo you were too hesitant to get, even if it leads to rejection.

You need to accustom yourself to rejection, whether it's from your crush, an investor, or a friend. The fear of failing or being rejected will always be in the way, so you need to overcome it by training yourself to accept rejection.

7. You are your meanest critic:

"I am a self-critical perfectionist." Victoria Pendleton

No one is judging your every step but yourself. Sometimes people's criticism can be harsh, but your criticism of yourself is likely the hardest. You're not perfect; no one is. We all make mistakes. So instead of beating yourself down for all your mistakes, start praising your strengths and good deeds instead.

Write down all your strengths and remind yourself of them each time you're going to criticize yourself negatively. Stop being so hard on yourself or calling yourself a loser or a failure. Each time you do, it's another blow to your confidence.

  1. Set goals for yourself:

"All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do. " Norman Vincent Peale

Setting and achieving goals is one way to feel accomplished and confident. Now, this doesn't mean your goals should be anything huge like ending world hunger or saving koala bears. If you don't achieve any goals, you'll feel discouraged. Start with small goals that you can easily achieve. For example, my goal is to finish this article tonight. I also have a goal to go to the gym this weekend.

Achieving these small goals will make you feel good about yourself and reassure you to take the step to set bigger and harder goals. All goals achieved matter, no matter how small.

That's why you should keep a list of all your accomplishments (not necessarily every single one but the general ones that made you feel proud). Use this list as motivation to get you to achieve your bigger goals.

  1. Love yourself:

"You, as much as anyone in the entire universe deserves your love and affection." Buddha

How you feel about yourself is vital to how you treat yourself. Caring and nourishing your health, appearance, and emotions is the perfect blend of loving yourself. When you love your body and look after it, you'll be more confident in yourself.

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Care for yourself by improving your sleeping habits, get more hours of sleep at night or exercise more, even if it's just a walk. Consider picking up a sport to increase your energy and reduce stress. Eating healthy meals and caring for your hygiene are also signs of caring and loving yourself. Spend time doing things you love.

Another trick to boosting your confidence is by being more knowledgeable. This is something you can do for yourself by reading books or articles, researching, or studying. The more you know about a topic, the more confidently you can speak about it! Nourishing yourself with love, knowledge, and care will make you feel better about yourself and give you more confidence.

10. Be grateful and helpful:

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." Willie Nelson

Doing good for others will make us feel good about ourselves. The smallest gestures, like a smile, can make all the difference with someone. Try to always have an active role in volunteering or helping charities during the holidays. Being able to make a difference with someone will satisfy you inside and improve your self-image.

Seeing all the change that you can do and all those who need your help will make you more grateful for the people and things in your life. Having an impact on someone else's life will give you a big dose of confidence. You made that happen.

Still Having Difficulties With Self-Confidence?

It won't just take one of these tips to boost your self esteem and feel more self assured; it can take a few or even all of them. Most importantly, you need to keep working on improving yourself.

Talking to someone you trust, a close friend or family to support you and encourage you to do better also helps. For further assistance, you can also seek professional help and talk to experts on the matter to help you work on this, step by step. Real life can be challenging, so having therapist in your corner can be a huge help.

The problem with seeking help to address confidence issues is that it can be difficult to find the confidence to do so. If you’re in this situation, know that therapy is easy to online via platforms such as BetterHelp. Online counseling allows you to gain advice and treatment via video conference, call, or chat. What’s more, it’s gaining in popularity. A recent study of young people found that over two-thirds (72%) said they would use online counseling if they needed help.

Sitting down with a BetterHelp therapist is easy. You can message or talk from anywhere you have an internet connection. Once you’re in touch, your therapist will get you actionable advice on how to boost your confidence and feel confident in your day-to-day. They'll want to understand most all the things on your mind to develop a path forward.

Read what others have to say about their experiences with BetterHelp below, as they began to start feeling better through therapy.

“Cameron has helped me navigate some incredibly challenging things within my relationship. With his help I’ve developed confidence to be a more assertive person. Therapy had helped me understand myself and my partner much better, in addition to implementing practices and taking action to improve a situation whereas I otherwise may feel stuck or hopeless. I really loved that he took the time to get to know me and my history before trying to “tell me what to do.” I feel like he really understands how my mind operates and therefore can give great, valuable advice, in addition to being a comforting sounding board.”

“Like talking to a friend, I have gained confidence, and was able to have a tough conversation that took years to have, thanks to her encouragement and advice. I thoroughly recommend Cynthia.”

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