10 Tips To Boost Your Self-Confidence

Updated March 8, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Self-confidence is a skill to nourish and train; it is not usually something you gain overnight. Some people will have a healthy amount of self-confidence naturally, and that will show in how they behave and handle situations. But that’s not the case for everyone, particularly for people who have endured trauma or mental health challenges. These circumstances may take a toll on one’s self-confidence, potentially leading to low self-esteem.

How you perceive and treat yourself can sometimes define how others will treat you. Self-confidence pushes us to be our best selves, to take risks, and to get the things we want. Do you want to learn about ways to improve your confidence? Here are a few suggestions on how to feel confident:

Speaking With A Therapist Can Help With Self-Confidence Issues

10 Tips To Boost Your Self-Confidence

  1. Quell negative thoughts.

Our inner dialogue can play a large role in our self-confidence. Whenever you have negative thoughts about yourself, your job, your relationships, etc., you reduce your self-esteem bit by bit. It helps to silence the negativity as much as possible and start replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones.

  1. Surround yourself with positivity.

Cultivating and implementing positive thoughts is a good foundation, but the people around you have a huge influence on your self-confidence. Surround yourself with people who boost you up and encourage you to pursue what you want in life, not people that make you feel bad about yourself.

3. Learn how to say "no"

Part of cultivating self-confidence is controlling our own actions. Sometimes, regardless of the intention, the people around us push us to do things that make us feel uncomfortable or create stress in our lives. You may think that you're being “mean” or don't want to upset someone, but when these circumstances arise, it helps to be assertive and have the confidence to say no when you need to.

  1. Think about what makes you feel attractive

While change does largely happen from within, there are times when even the simplest change to the way we look can make us feel good about ourselves. For example, try a new hairstyle, buy an article of clothing that flatters you, get a manicure, etc. It may seem superfluous, but these kinds of changes can go a long way toward making us feel more confident in the world. 

Speaking With A Therapist Can Help With Self-Confidence Issues

  1. Work on body language.

Small things like walking with our shoulders back and chin up can cultivate feelings of healthy self-esteem. So can making eye contact and projecting our voice appropriately when speaking with others. Try to be confident in the way you carry yourself, even if you don't necessarily feel that way just yet. Pull your shoulders back, stand tall, and talk slowly and clearly. How you act in front of others will not only make them think you're confident but will boost your confidence.

  1. Do something brave once a week

It can be frightening to put ourselves “out there,” but sometimes the risk is well worth the reward. Taking risks — even when they are totally random — doesn't necessarily mean going bungee jumping or mountain climbing. But take yourself out of your comfort zone. Perhaps talk to that person you’re interested in; even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to, just taking the leap shows self-confidence and should make you feel proud of yourself.

7. You are your harshest critic

Sometimes people's criticism can be harsh, but our criticism of ourselves is likely the hardest. We all know that no one is perfect, yet most people tend to expect more from themselves than is realistic. To combat this habit, it helps to write down all your strengths and remind yourself of them each time you begin to criticize yourself. 

  1. Set goals for yourself

Setting and achieving goals is one way to feel accomplished and confident. You don’t have to set large goals; begin with small goals that you can easily achieve. For example, set a goal to take a walk every day after work or reach out to a friend who may need your support. It may be helpful to keep a list of the accomplishments that have made you feel proud. Use this list as motivation to get you to achieve your bigger goals.

  1. Love yourself

How you feel about yourself is vital to how you treat yourself. Caring for and nourishing your health, both physical and mental, is the perfect blend of loving yourself. When you love your mind and body and look after them, you'll be more confident in yourself.

Speaking With A Therapist Can Help With Self-Confidence Issues

Acts of self-care like improving your sleeping habits or exercising more can go a long way. Perhaps consider picking up a sport to increase your energy and reduce stress. Eating healthy meals and caring for your hygiene are also signs of caring for and loving yourself. 

10. Be grateful and helpful

Doing good things for others will make us feel good about ourselves. The smallest gestures, like a smile, can make a big difference to someone. Try to have an active role in volunteering or just being a good friend. Being able to make a positive difference for someone will make you feel good inside and improve your self-image.

Seeing all the positive change that you can bring to others will make you more grateful for the people and things in your life. Having an impact on someone else's life will give you a big dose of confidence. 


Boosting your self-confidence may take time, and you may need to use every strategy on this list plus more, but if you stay committed to cultivating self-love, your self-confidence will follow. 

Talking to someone you trust, a close friend or family to support you and encourage you also helps. For further assistance, you can also speak to a counselor who can coach you through a plan to boost your self-confidence. Having a professional available with experience helping people establish a healthy sense of self is a great way to set yourself up for success. 

If you need a boost of self-confidence, or if you feel that your lack of self-confidence may stem from a deeper mental health issue, speaking to a therapist online is an excellent option. Online counseling allows you to gain advice and treatment via video conference, call, or chat, making it easy to get effective help. 

A  recent study of young people found that over two-thirds (72%) said they would use online counseling if they needed help-- online platforms like BetterHelp are there to connect people with therapists of all backgrounds and expertise. 

Read what others have to say about their experiences with BetterHelp below as they began to start feeling better through therapy.

“Cameron has helped me navigate some incredibly challenging things within my relationship. With his help I’ve developed confidence to be a more assertive person. Therapy had helped me understand myself and my partner much better, in addition to implementing practices and taking action to improve a situation whereas I otherwise may feel stuck or hopeless. I really loved that he took the time to get to know me and my history before trying to “tell me what to do.” I feel like he really understands how my mind operates and therefore can give great, valuable advice, in addition to being a comforting sounding board.”

“Like talking to a friend, I have gained confidence, and was able to have a tough conversation that took years to have, thanks to her encouragement and advice. I thoroughly recommend Cynthia.”

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