Self Esteem Articles

Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn, LMFT, MA

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how we feel about who we are. It’s a reflection of the confidence that we have in ourselves and our ability to navigate our lives. Self-esteem is also about our self-worth. Self worth is how we treat ourselves and how we relate to other people. Those who have high self-esteem are less likely to take poor treatment from others and understand that they deserve good things. When you know your worth, you value yourself and recognize when you’re being treated poorly. When your self-confidence is healthy, you believe that you deserve good things, and you’re more likely to succeed in obtaining them.

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When you have difficulty seeing your self-worth, you may need to do some inner reflection and notice the things you like about you. Journaling is an excellent place to start. A simple exercise is to write down three things about yourself that you love. You can also write down three things you’re good at doing. Seeing these items on paper will remind you that you have talents and abilities. Sometimes we forget the things we excel at, and we focus on our deficiencies. That’s why writing it down helps us see the positive traits in ourselves.

How Self-Esteem Develops

A child in a healthy environment is encouraged and rewarded for doing their best. They are encouraged to succeed in a wide array of academic, social, and athletic situations. They’re treated with the compassion that they need to believe that they can achieve high standards. However, there are situations where children are abused and told that they’re worthless or that they won’t do well. Their self-esteem is likely to be impacted by this abuse. It doesn’t mean that their self-esteem will never recover, but it increases the likelihood that they’ll struggle with it in adulthood. It’s difficult when you have low self-esteem, and it’s important to know that low self-esteem doesn’t always stem from abuse. It can arise from an infinite number of contributors such as bullying, internalized messages from the media, and so on. Regardless of the cause, it’s a serious issue when someone has consistently low self-esteem.

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Raising Your Self-Esteem

Recognizing the things that you’re good at will help you develop healthy self-esteem. If you do things that you enjoy and recognize your talents, it can raise the confidence that you have in yourself. Self-esteem is something that fluctuates. There are days that we feel great about ourselves and other days when we feel not-so-great about ourselves. Some days, we’ll be proud of our accomplishments, and our internal dialogue will be positive. Other days, we struggle. Our inner critic is loud and we can’t seem to catch a mental break. The voice that says you’re “not good enough,” takes over and you feel down. Those days aren’t fun, but they’re a part of life. Remember that self-esteem is about owning who you are and understanding that it’s okay not to be good at something. It’s fantastic to explore your talents and abilities so that you can pursue them and develop confidence in yourself. It’s also important not to beat yourself up if you stumble or struggle with something that you’re not necessarily good at. We all fail from time to time. That’s part of being human. When you’re having issues with your self-worth, you don’t have to suffer with them alone. A great place to discuss self-esteem is therapy.

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Online Counseling

Online counseling is an excellent place to explore issues regarding self-esteem. If you’re struggling with self-worth, talking to an online counselor can make a world of difference. They’ll help you observe who you are in an unbiased way and show you that it’s possible to love yourself. Loving yourself is about accepting yourself for who you are - both flaws and strengths. Developing greater self-esteem is possible if you’re willing, to be honest and challenge your negative thoughts. Search the network of counselors at BetterHelp to find one that suits your needs and can help you better understand who you are, develop your sense of self, and elevate your self-worth.