Five Things You Should Know About Couples Sex Therapy
Updated February 24, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Lauren Guilbeault
There are many situations in which couples sex therapy can yield benefits. However, despite the potential upsides, there is still a stigma and fair amount of discomfort which many individuals have in regard to couples sex therapy.
In society and media, sex is portrayed as an act which is supposed to be fun and come naturally. For couples thatstruggle with sex in their lives, these portrayals can make them feel bad about their current position. Couples whose sex lives aren't doing so well may feel apprehensive about opening up to someone who they do not know and sharing such intimate details about their sex lives. Others simply may believe that they are better off figuring things out on their own without the input and guidance from a professional.
At the end of the day, each couple reserves the right to determine whether or not going to couples sex therapy is the best choice for them. Granted, certain couples can overcome hurdles in the bedroom without going to see a sex therapist. Likewise, other couples have experienced drastic improvements in their sex living following consultations with a sex therapist.
There is so much involved in couples sex therapy, and there are many details which people ought to be aware of. However, before divulging the important things you should know about couples sex therapy, having a basic understanding of couples sex therapy and what it's all about will certainly make a difference. This will also help do away with the stigma that's associated with this form of therapy.
A Brief Overview Of Couples Sex Therapy
In a nutshell, the purpose of couples sex therapy is to aid couples in overcoming the issues which are blocking them from enjoying healthy, pleasurable sex life. Believe it or not, there are a series of issues which can manifest in the form of couples not being able to enjoy intimacy with one another properly. The job of the sex therapist who works with couples facing this issue is to get to the bottom of things and move forward, particularly in the bedroom.
Additionally, there are a series of benefits which come along with couples sex therapy. First and foremost is the opportunity for couples to speak to and hear one another. This may seem very basic, but it's a problem that many couples face. Getting caught up in the everyday events of life canbe distracting and make it difficult for couples to truly focus on one another and put aside time to discuss and listen. Attending couples sex therapy provides this opportunity.
At the end of the day, sex couples therapy can be an amazing tool. However, it only works if both parties are invested and willing to participate. If only one person in a couple is willing to attend couples sex therapy or listen to what the sex therapist has to say, then it's going to make the rehabilitation process very difficult, if not downright impossible.
Important Things To Know About Couples Sex Therapy
Having an overview of couples sex therapy and its purpose is a great first step. However, a thorough understanding of the following specific details will help people in figuring out whether or not couples sex therapy is something which they would like to participate inwith their partner.
It Addresses A Multitude Of Issues In The Bedroom
Couples can face all kinds of sexual hurdles in their sex lives. However, this should never serve as a barrier to keep them from seeking out the services of a couples sex therapist. Believe it or not, these specialists address a series of sex issues which are more common than some people might imagine. Difficultieswith orgasm, porn addiction, sex addiction, fetishes, and arousal are only the tip of the iceberg of issues which can be addressed in couples sex therapy.
When couples are facing issues of this nature, it can be challenging to talk about. Sometimes, there are egos involved and people who are not eager to talk about problems of this nature. One of the most important things to remember is that there is no judgement from the end of the sex therapist. At the end of the day, any specialist who you work with is there to be of service to you and your partner and help you both experience improvements in intimacy.
The Time For Treatment Can Vary
One of the most common questions about couples sex therapy is, "How long does it take?" In actuality, there is no one answer to this question. The numberof sessions which are needed to address an issue depends upon the nature of the issue. For instance, couples who struggle with orgasms may require less sex therapy sessions than a couple whose sexual issues are rooted in past trauma. Every situation is different, and there is always a plethora of involved factors.
It's important to note that the treatment, in and of itself, should be the top priority and not the amount of time which it requires. Remember, no two couples are the same. Just because one couple requires more sex therapy sessions than the other, that does not mean that any couple is better or worse off than the other. Judgments on the quality of couples sex therapy should always pertain to the quality of the treatment and the intimacy improvements which couples experience once they have completed the therapy process.
The Therapist Is Always Neutral
During therapy which involves multiple patients, there are times where one of the patients may feel as though the therapist is taking the side of one person over the other. This perception can seriously serve as a hindrance to the process of therapy, particularly when issues as delicate as sex and intimacy are involved. Despite this misconception, it's important for couples to understand that sex therapists are always neutral.
Due to their chosen profession, sex therapists are responsible for providing the best possible treatment for both patients. This cannot be done if one person feels as though their partner is being favored. In actuality, the couples sex therapist is going to work with couples, help them get to the root of issues and find applicable solutions. This will never require one party to take the side of one partner over the other. Now, a couples sex therapist might advise one or both partners to make certain modifications in various areas, but this is simply doing their job, not taking sides.
All Parties Will Keep Their Clothes On
It's important for everyone to understand that couples sex therapy will never involve any party taking off their clothes or making sexual contact during therapy. The treatment process of couples sex therapy is all about asking questions, answering questions, talking, and getting to the bottom of problems which are blocking couples from having an amazing sex life. If at any point a couples sex therapist urges any party to take off their clothes or perform sexual acts during therapy, they should be reported immediately. Sexual acts will never under any circumstances occur during couples sex therapy sessions.
Going Sooner Rather Than Later Can Make a Difference
If couples notice an intimacy-related issue which they feel is holding them back in the bedroom, going to couples sex therapy sooner rather than later can make a difference. This doesn't mean that it's ever too late to attend therapy, however, dealing with issues as soon as they are noticed can prevent them from festering or worsening later on down the line.
It's also important to note that the longer an issue persists, the easier it may be to ignore it or even adapt to it. It becomes a habit and before you know it, what was once a mild issue has now festered into something deeper and more serious. Unresolved problems in the bedroom can also lead to resentment and other issues in the relationship as a whole. Regardless of what your situation may be with your partner, if you feel as though your intimacy could benefit from couples sex therapy, don't be afraid to take that step.
Utilizing Online Couples Sex Therapy
Studies show that online counseling can help couples who are experiencing problems connecting sexually. In one studypublished in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers evaluated the efficacy of online therapy when helping women with sexual interest/arousal disorder. They note that online sex therapy can be more private, accessible, and cost-efficient than traditional, in-person counseling. After treatment, the participants reported increased feelings of sexual arousal, satisfaction, and desire. They also reported feeling more knowledgeable, validated, and hopeful as a result of online sex therapy. Because participants are able to access important resources remotely, online therapy often allows individuals to more thoroughly understand important concepts and techniques.
Online counseling through BetterHelp is a discreet, secure form of therapy. Attending therapy from the comfort of your home, you won’t have to worry about potentially seeing someone you know or discussing your treatment with anyone but your therapist. Also, you’ll have the option of participating in online therapy completely anonymously—simply select a “nickname” when you sign up and your full contact information will remain private, if you prefer. A licensed counselor can help you and your partner through uncomfortable intimacy issues. Read below for reviews of BetterHelp therapists, from those who have sought help in the past.
“Jodi has been of great help and has helped me work on a few different aspects of my life. I've struggled with intimacy related issues that have caused my self esteem to dip, as well as career path anxiety. He’s been a great help in guiding me to feel better about everything which has allowed me to continue to improve and get better. I’ll definitely be coming back to him in the future if needed.”
“Karen has helped me to be able to look outside the box to find how to find possible solutions to my sex life with my wife. A most insightful approach which I had partly recognized before but not taken seriously or realized just how I felt about it.”
Life tends to throw curveballs in our direction. Sometimes these curveballs take place in the form of intimacy issues, emotional struggles, relationship problems, or something else entirely. One of the most common themes of curveballs is that we don't tend to see them coming. Sometimes, when faced with a curveball, we can get thrown off, and that's OK so long as we bounce back and keep pushing forward in life.
Therapy truly makes a difference in helping people bounce back. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what your situation may be, it is always OK to ask for help and guidance. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and, in the long run, it will benefit you.
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