Searching For A Therapist? A Quick Therapists Finder Guide

How do I find the right therapist?

If you’re unsure where to look for a therapist, you may want to start by searching through online databases of licensed practitioners. For example, you can find accredited members of the American Psychological Association through their locator tool, complete with detailed listings discussing their expertise. Nonprofit organizations like the National Register of Health Service Psychologists, or government agencies like the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), offer similar search tools. 

You can also connect directly with therapists online through web-based therapy platforms such as BetterHelp. Internet therapy can often be a faster and more convenient way to get help from trained and licensed therapists than searching for in-person treatment. 

It’s often a good idea to narrow down your search to mental health experts with experience treating your specific symptoms. You’ll often find a therapist’s specialty listed along with their credentials. Once you locate a few candidates, it may be helpful to talk with them over the phone before committing to therapy sessions. That way, you can gauge how they conduct themselves in professional interactions, and hopefully get at least some idea of whether you might be able to connect with them.

Can a therapist help you find yourself?

In addition to treating symptoms of mental illness, psychotherapy can help clients gain greater insight into their personal strengths, feelings, and behaviors. It may also assist in defining life goals and uncovering a sense of purpose in life. Some therapeutic approaches, such as logotherapy and existential therapy, may be particularly well-suited for clients interested in exploring questions of meaning, purpose, and direction.

How do I interview a new therapist?

Writing down a few relevant questions before meeting with a prospective therapist can help you have a more productive conversation. It’s often best to start by asking some general questions about their education, training, and licensure. A good therapist should generally be able to describe why they’re qualified to help you. 

Asking whether they’re trained in specific evidence-based practices, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety or prolonged exposure therapy for PTSD, may be helpful. You’ll also probably want to ask them about their fee structure, what forms of insurance they accept, and other important financial considerations.

Once they’ve provided those details to your satisfaction, you can ask some more open-ended questions to help figure out whether this therapist is a good match for you. Possible examples include:

• What is your approach to treatment?
• How do you identify progress in therapy?
• Have you treated patients like me before?
• What kinds of clients do you typically work best with?
• How would you address my symptoms?

As they respond to your questions, you’ll generally want to pay attention to their professional demeanor as well as the answers they give. It’s often important to ask yourself “Is this someone with whom I can build a respectful, trusting therapeutic relationship?”

How do I choose a couples therapist?

Before you start searching for a couples therapist, it’s often important to have an open conversation with your partner about what specifically is impacting your relationship. While it might seem obvious to you what the problem is, they may have complaints or worries of their own that hadn’t occurred to you. Defining the problem may make it easier to locate a counselor who meets your needs. It could also improve your odds of reconciling successfully in therapy. 

Next, you can try searching for marriage or relationship therapists who specialize in addressing the specific stressors and conflicts you’re facing. Using keywords like “new parents”, “intimacy difficulties”, or “infidelity” will likely make it easier to find the right person.

Once you’ve found potential therapist candidates, it’s likely a good idea to interview them as described above. It’s probably a good idea to ask questions about how they handle the unique dynamics of couples counseling, such as:

• How do you address issues related to secrets between partners?
• What do you see as most important to a healthy relationship or marriage?
• How do you handle conflict and arguments within a therapy session?
• What is your approach when one partner seems less willing to follow the advice given in therapy?
• Have you treated many couples with this issue before? If so, how many of them reconciled or saw improvement?
• When, if ever, would you advise a couple to separate?

Does psychotherapy work and how can we know?

Because there are so many different forms of psychotherapy, it can be difficult to discuss the effectiveness of this type of treatment as a whole. However, many evidence-based talk therapies have shown considerable effectiveness in both research trials and ordinary practice. Their ability to help is assessed in terms of both patient self-reports and clinical assessments of mental health symptoms. These treatments include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Acceptance and commitment therapy
• Prolonged exposure therapy
• Dialectical behavior therapy
• Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy

Some of these treatments may be better suited to certain individuals or certain kinds of mental illness. 

It can be important to define your goals when beginning therapy and keep track of your progress toward those goals. Taking note of things like the frequency and severity of your symptoms, your ability to function well in everyday situations, and your overall life satisfaction can help you gauge whether or not therapy is working well for you.

What should I tell my therapist the first time we meet?

During your first meeting with your therapist, it’s often helpful to talk about your big-picture goals — both for therapy and for your life in general. You might also want to talk a bit about your current life situation, such as your career, living situation, and major relationships. Discussing any challenging emotions or mental health symptoms, and the coping strategies you’re using, can also help your therapist assess your individual psychology and what forms of treatment might help.  

How should I start talking to a therapist?

When you first talk with your therapist, you may be uncertain about where to start. Sometimes it can help to begin with where you are right now. You can start by explaining how you’re currently feeling and what made you join therapy.

Don’t worry if you’ve already discussed some of this before your session. It can serve as a jumping-off point for a more detailed discussion.

If you’re still feeling uncomfortable opening up, you could start by acknowledging that. Talking about the emotions that arise when you try to discuss your mental health can be another fruitful avenue for conversation. Another option might be to review recent events in your life. As you talk, you may find that examples of your mental health challenges come up naturally.

What questions do therapists ask?

Therapists often ask questions designed to prompt discussion of the kinds of topics discussed above. Common questions at the start of treatment include:

• What prompted you to seek therapy?
• How have you been dealing with your difficult thoughts, emotions, or behaviors?
• Have you ever received psychotherapy before? If so, what was your experience like?
• What do you hope to get from therapy?
• What kinds of important relationships do you have in your life, and what are they like?
• Have you recently (or ever) had thoughts of hurting yourself or committing suicide?

Note that answering “yes” to the last question doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be hospitalized. Your therapist will likely ask some follow-up questions to assess the severity of any suicidal thoughts and determine how best to help you. If you’re currently grappling with thoughts of this kind, you can reach empathetic volunteers at any time by dialing 988 to reach the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

What happens when you go to a therapist?

When you first consult with a therapist, you’ll likely need to provide some pragmatic information at the beginning. For example, you may have to fill out insurance paperwork and discuss scheduling and expectations. 

Next, they’ll typically ask some broad questions to help determine what you’re most interested in getting help with and what goals you’d like to achieve from therapy. Based on this information, a therapist will generally propose an individualized treatment plan for you and confirm that you’d like to proceed. This plan may be updated and modified as you go, but discussing it in broad strokes now will help you understand what to expect as you move forward.

Beyond that, the details of therapy will depend on your specific needs and treatment goals. You’ll likely spend a fair amount of time discussing your symptoms, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as evidence-based strategies for managing them. Some therapists may also ask you about your past experiences or suggest “homework” to help you address your mental health challenges outside of therapy.

Is it okay to ask your therapist personal questions?

Yes, you can ask your therapist questions about their personal life. It’s natural for many people to want to get a sense of who their treatment provider is as a person, and some research suggests that personal divulgence from therapists (when handled correctly) can improve treatment outcomes.

However, it can be crucial to respect your therapist’s right to personal and accept that there may be details they don’t wish to divulge. And certain kinds of questions, such as explicit inquiries about their sex life, can cross the line into harassment. Maintaining a respectful, professional atmosphere in therapy can be crucial to its success.