On the way to their pre-marriage counseling appointment, a newly engaged couple wondered if they had anything to learn at a couples therapy retreat in this early stage of their relationship. Walking hand-in-hand, they took their seats before the counselor, eagerly waiting to learn how to build a strong and lasting marriage.
During the session, the counselor focused on the importance of building a good marriage from the start. The couple was stunned to learn that about half of all marriages fail within the first 7-8 years of marriage. They were only slightly impressed by the fact that recent trends in divorce are dropping slightly.
They decided that an intensive couples therapy retreat might help keep them from becoming another statistic, and that continued couples counseling in conjunction with a marriage retreat would be a very good idea.
Couples attend couples therapy retreats and marriage retreats for various reasons. Some couples attend a retreat when they are engaged as this young couple did, and other couples decide to attend a couples therapy retreat when they start to lose the spark in their marriage.
Often, one partner or the other decides to sign them up for couples therapy when they are on the brink of divorce, hoping to save their marriage.
It's also common for couples who already have a good marriage to attend marriage retreats, as a couples therapy retreat offers a romantic getaway, with the chance to increase sexual intimacy and relationship satisfaction even more.
The best time for a married couple to attend a couples therapy retreat is when one or both spouses feel that the retreat will improve their relationship and emotional connection.
If you're like the average person, you've probably thought about attending a couples therapy retreat a few times, but never actually committed to signing up for one.
Why do you keep procrastinating on trying out one of these marriage retreats? Some reasons may be because you don’t feel ready in your relationship to delve into the very reasons that should be prompting you to go.
Are you avoiding private relationship issues related to infidelity, a mid-life crisis, empty nesting, retirement, sexuality, or the broken bonds of intimacy? Well, an intensive retreat emotionally focused on achieving intimacy at a deeper level and healing together can give you renewed hope in your connection.
Many couples find practical reasons for not attending couples therapy retreats. They don't have anyone to watch their kids for a few days. Perhaps they can't spare time away from work. Finances are an issue for many couples who simply can't afford the high cost of a private weekend retreat or couples workshop.
The word retreat means "to withdraw." But consider that expensiveness is not a prerequisite of withdrawing from the busyness of life. Working on building a solid foundation for your marriage doesn't always equate to a pricey, intensive couples retreat with lavish spa treatments and yoga classes on the beaches of North Carolina! The issues that bring you to couples therapy exist in your home and in your everyday life.
Did you know that you can attend a virtual couples therapy retreat with online couples counseling at BetterHelp.com? Escape from life for a bit and still work on your marriage issues without leaving your home or costing a fortune. The benefit of online couples counseling is that it brings you closer to the problems that you're having so that you can work on them. You'll feel more comfortable doing that in the comfort of your own home or bedroom.
There is a difference between a couples retreat and couples therapy. While they sound similar, they are different, and the main difference is that one can take months or years, and one can happen over a weekend or a week at most. Imagine an intense counseling session filled with lessons on communication, reviving a broken sex life, and learning how to fall in love with your partner condensed into a weekend at a beautiful location; this is a marriage retreat. It offers healing that can last year round.
Unlike a marriage retreat, couples counseling takes place in a therapy office for one hour a week with you and your partner talking with a therapist, either in person or in private. Relationship and family therapy is often offered to clients by professional help certified and specialized in these areas. This can be very effective and save your relationship, however, you must be prepared to devote an hour a week for at least a three-month time frame. That being said, this emotionally focused therapy digs a lot deeper into your relationship over time than what a weekend retreat can accomplish.
Most couples will start to see changes after a few sessions if both parties are willing to make changes and accept responsibilities for the issues in the relationship, but after three-months is when the real work begins and most of the extra baggage is stripped away.
Both types of couples counseling can be effective, it just depends on the form that will work best for you. If you have the time to invest in a weekly session for a minimum of three months and sitting in an office with a therapist appeals to you, then couples counseling might be what would work best for your situation.
If you and your significant other prefer to attend a weekend getaway with intense couples workshops, then a couples counseling retreat might be a good choice for you. They are both great choices and can provide the solutions you are looking for, it is more about personal preference than the information and techniques you will receive.
Couples counseling and a private couples retreat are similar and will teach comparable techniques to relate better as a couple. One of the largest differences is that you and your partner will not be alone, you will be with other couples that are there to strengthen their relationships and grow together.
While this may seem a bit strange at first, it can provide another level of therapy for couples by being able to learn from each other and discuss similarities in relationships that would not otherwise be heard of in traditional couples counseling. Couples often have the same issues as other couples and this offers an opportunity to learn what has worked and what hasn't.
Counselors plan exercises and activities that help strengthen your marriage bond. Be prepared to discuss some of the issues you are having. Your counselor will help you identify your individual strengths and your strengths as a couple as a base for building emotional awareness between you. The exercises will help you identify misconceptions and change self-defeating behaviors to improve communication, forgive each other, and rebuild a loving relationship.
This can be done in different formats like games, talking, or writing exercises; be prepared to have fun but to also share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and counselor.
The retreat will be intensive work and assign homework assignments that are completed on your own time, but you will have free time to spend doing things that you enjoy like getting a massage, yoga, or other amenities offered through the retreat.
This can be a good time for you and your partner to bond together while relaxing without the pressures from home taking precedence. Another benefit to a private couples retreat is tacking on vacation time before or after your retreat to unwind and enjoy couple time before returning home.
If you cannot make couples retreat and coordinating schedules with your partner to see a therapist during business hours won't work, you still have the option of couples counseling through an online format.
BetterHelp has counselors that are specifically trained to work with couples through an online platform all from the ease of your own location.
You do not have to drive miles, find a babysitter, battle weather, or only choose from regular business hours. You will be able to find a counselor that can work with your schedule and the format that works best for you and your partner.
Rather than give up on your relationship, online couples therapy gives you a plan and the tools and understanding to truly be a team.
Commonly Asked Questions
Are marriage retreats worth it?
Marriage retreats can come in different forms, from couples retreats to marriage counseling retreats and life marriage retreats. Oftentimes, these retreats offer emotionally focused therapy. A private intensive retreat designed for one or two couples can really spark healing between a husband and wife, and decrease the chances of divorce. Many marriage retreats utilize relationship science based techniques developed by the likes of psychologist John Gottman to build intimacy and get to the core issues in a relationship.
Is it too late for couples therapy?
It’s never “too late” for seeking couples therapy in order to salvage a relationship, as long as each person in the marriage desires a more secure bond or connection. Private intensive couples therapy can help a husband and wife communicate positively despite any issues they’ve had, including grief or infidelity.
If your relationship is really falling apart, you may need the additional help in the form of life marriage retreats or private retreats for couples designed to accelerate the soul adventure of healing. There are plenty of in person retreats in beautiful destinations like Orcas Island in Washington, or North Carolina in person retreats. There are also online retreats led by leading marriage counselors like Dr. John Grey.
Do couples therapists ever suggest separation?
A couples therapist will never tell you what to do, but they may guide you towards the optimal solution for healing. If there is no end in sight for the suffering your marriage is enduring, and only one or neither of you is invested in saving the relationship, a therapist may guide you towards the conclusion of a potential separation. A marriage that’s crumbling is not just unhealthy and destructive for both parties, but it can also be very damaging for other family members, especially children. It’s important to know when to fight for something, and when to ease into a practical and healthy solution for everyone involved.