Is Worry Related To Parenting Normal? Ways To Cope With Parenting Anxiety
Worries related to parenting can be expected, especially for anyone who has just brought home their first baby. First-time parents might worry about everything from whether their baby is eating or sleeping enough to whether the sounds they’re making are normal. As children grow up, these worries often fade, but there are usually more to take their place. Some parenting anxiety can be normal, whether it’s about a toddler meeting developmental milestones, a school-aged child making friends, or a teenager being safe away from home. However, when this worry becomes challenging to manage or starts to affect the lives of the parent and child, it may be more than typical parental worrying. Online therapy can serve as a valuable source of professional guidance and support.
Worry and mild anxiety as a parent
Some anxiety as a parent can be natural. These worries may come and go quickly, like when you see your child fall on the playground and feel panicked before they stand up and tell you they’re okay.
Mild parenting anxiety can linger, but this level of anxiety tends to be more manageable. Although it might stick around, it doesn’t necessarily stop anxious parents from getting through the day. In other words, you may worry regularly but be able to put those worries to the back of your mind.
When it may be more than worry
If you worry about things for no apparent reason or are always waiting for disaster to strike, you may be experiencing symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD can make it seem like you’re living in constant dread and worry, and the anxiety you experience can center around any part of your life. If you’re a parent, there’s a chance it can affect how much you worry about your children and parenting skills.
In general, GAD is more than just worrying about the health and safety of your children. Symptoms of GAD can also include the following:
- Having trouble controlling worries
- Feeling restless
- Being unable to relax
- Experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, muscle aches, sweating, shortness of breath, or lightheadedness
- Feeling on edge
- Having to use the bathroom frequently
- Trembling or twitching
Generalized anxiety disorder in parenting may have symptoms that focus more on the child. For example, you may spend excessive time worrying about tiny details related to your child or have persistent thoughts that something terrible might happen to your child. Parents with GAD may avoid letting their children do relatively safe things because they perceive them as harmful and focus on all the things that could go wrong.
How parental anxiety affects the child
Anxious parenting and childhood anxiety may be linked. Research shows that parental anxiety disorders can increase a child's risk of developing anxiety. In particular, a review of 25 studies found that children were usually more likely to have GAD, separation anxiety, and specific phobias if their parents had anxiety.
Another review examined 18 studies and found that both parents’ mental health can affect their children in infancy, childhood, and as teenagers. The association between parental anxiety and negative functioning tends to be weak in infancy but robust in childhood for both mothers and fathers. For teenagers, maternal anxiety seems to be more influential.
The type of anxiety disorder someone has can also affect how parents interact with their children. For example, parents with social anxiety disorder are usually likely to show less warmth and more criticism, which can contribute to child anxiety and other concerns, like low self-esteem and depression.
Signs that a child may be experiencing anxiety include the following:
- Being afraid to be away from their parents
- Fearing specific situations or things, like doctor’s appointments, insects, or a certain ride at the playground
- Being scared in places where there are large groups of people
- Worrying that something bad is going to happen in the future
- Avoiding taking risks or trying new things
- Experiencing periods of sudden intense fear with physical symptoms like shaking, sweating, difficulty breathing, or a pounding heartbeat.
How to cope with parenting anxiety
To manage the worries and anxieties of parenting, try the following techniques.
Acknowledge your fears
It can help to accept that a certain amount of worry and anxiety can be natural when you become a parent. You might think of it as an instinct. Your specific worries may change as your children age and mature, but you will likely always worry about them to some extent.
Learn about and prepare for real risks
Consider what are your greatest worries and take time to understand the risks. For example, if you stay up at night worrying about a shooting at your kids’ school, you might talk to your principal or superintendent about school security and their plan to manage such an event. If you’re worried about bullying, you could talk to your child and other parents to understand their experiences, then reach out to the school if necessary.
The most common causes of death among kids and teens are typically unintentional injuries, with motor vehicle crashes being the leading cause of death in children and teens. This may not be something that parents want to think about, but knowing the facts can help you prepare. Ensure that young children are strapped into an appropriate car seat and that older children always wear a seatbelt. Further, it can be wise to start a conversation with your teens about the importance of being safe on the road.
Exercise
Exercise can help manage stress and anxiety. Physical movement usually releases endorphins, reduces the harmful effects of stress, and improves mood. If you’re experiencing parenting anxiety, starting a regular workout routine can help you manage it.
Take action
If you’re worrying about something in particular, try to do something about it. If there’s a specific street in your neighborhood where cars constantly speed, you could start a campaign to install a stop sign or speed trap. If your kids want to spend the summer at the pool, make sure they take swimming lessons and know how to handle themselves in the water. Feeling prepared may lessen the anxiety you’re experiencing.
Practice self-care
Self-care can help you manage stress more effectively. While self-care is generally not a cure for anxiety or any other mental illness, it can help you learn how to cope with mild symptoms. Some examples of self-care can include the following:
- Eat regular, healthy meals
- Stay hydrated
- Make sleep a priority
- Try meditation
- Reach out to friends and family for support
Therapy can help you manage parenting anxiety
Having worries related to parenting can be normal. However, if your parenting worries are beginning to interfere with your daily life, seeking support from a mental health professional could be a useful next step. Parenting can be time-consuming and challenging, which may make it more difficult to find the energy or extra time to attend therapy. If you’re looking for a more convenient alternative to in-person care, online therapy could be the right fit.
Benefits of online therapy
Platforms like BetterHelp usually enable you to communicate with your therapist through video chat, phone call, or in-app messaging. You can speak with your therapist from the comfort of your home, empowering you to meet your responsibilities as a parent while getting the support you deserve.
Effectiveness of online therapy
Research shows that online therapy can effectively manage symptoms of anxiety. In a 2019 study, researchers assessed the efficacy of an online mindful therapy intervention for mothers experiencing high parental stress. The intervention included meditations, visualization techniques, and writing exercises over an 8-week period. At the end of the program, the mothers usually showed clinically significant improvements in self-compassion and reductions in symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Takeaway
Worrying as a parent can be natural, but if you have anxiety symptoms that are affecting your everyday life, you may be experiencing something more serious. Having a parent who is anxious can be a risk factor for childhood anxiety and may significantly impact your child’s life. If you’re ready to talk to a professional about parenting anxiety and learn how to avoid passing anxiety on to your child, online therapy can help. Platforms like BetterHelp may be preferable for parents, as online therapy normally allows you to get support from the convenience of your home while still being present for your children.
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