Did you know that the adage the only person you can change is yourself is not true? The truth is any change in the system changes the system (family, groups, society, or environment) even if the system does not want to change. A more correct adage therefore is the only person you can willfully change is yourself.
Hi, my name is Mark M Miller. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Licensed Addiction Counselor (LAC) in the colorful state of Colorado. I hold certificates in Sand Play Therapy, , Sex/Intimacy/Counseling, treatment for Trauma and Abuse and Family Mediation, I am also trained in counseling the abusers and victims of domestic violence, treating depression, PTSD, anxiety and Insomnia But I also have experience most mental health issues and all forms of relationship issues.
In my 20+ years in the mental health field I have come to realize why changes made within the therapeutic process do not stick. Either the person is forced to change by changing the system (family, etc.) and not the individual (thoughts, feelings, will, and behavior) or the focus is changing the individual but not the system. It is when a change to the system or when an individual change is when conflict, problems, and/or symptoms worsen as the system or the person does not buy into the change. Change is scary and causes anxiety and is uncomfortable. Real change takes a commitment and an acceptance to the change by both the system and the individual.
For this reason, I treat the individual and the system. In all relationship counseling I aid everyone in coping with the change in the system and in individual counseling I help you cope with the changes that occur in the system. I have been told by many clients that been in counseling before and never have gotten anything out it that my approach has helped them.
Regardless of if I am doing relationship counseling (family or couple), the steps of therapy stay the same. The first step is what I refer to as The Tourniquet Phase, the second phase is what I refer to as The Understanding Phase. The third phase is what I refer to as The Surgery Phase and the last phase is The Patch Up Phase. I refer to this approach as the D.A.M. D.U.D.E.S. V I R.T.U.E. approach.
• The Tourniquet Phase
D= Here I help you define the problem, conflict and or symptoms
A=Assess - Here I assess the severity of the problem, conflict, and/or symptoms and what is reinforcing the problem and find out if this reinforcement is sustaining or making the symptoms worsened.
M=Measure- Here we determine how progress is going to be measured. Here I also help you make your symptoms, problem, or conflict measurable and behavioral.
D= Here I Diagnosis (DSM-5, diagnosis if needed) Here I also help you de-escalate your symptoms problem and conflict. I also assess if this de-escalation should include referring you to a psychiatrist or medical doctor because the symptoms are physiologically based. Here we also decide on a hierarchy of goals.
• The Understanding Phase
U= Here I help you understand the metaphor and purpose of the symptoms, problems, or conflict useful to individual and/or system. We also explore underlining core emotion, belief defenses and your underlining needs that are not being met and that are reinforcing and sustaining your current symptoms problem and conflict. It is these underlining issues that need to be dealt with to avoid substituting your current symptoms problem and conflict for another.
• The Surgery Phase
D= Here I help you creating Differentiation of Self (DOS) The benefits of DOS include making better decision, discover more options in your life by becoming more open and flexible. You will also not have to depend others for your identity, dictate your behavior. or try to use your relationships to complete yourself.
E= Here I teach you how to find exceptions to the problems, conflict, and/or symptoms. I will also teach you to emotion regulation. increase your emotional intelligence and help you balance empathy and selfishness.
S= Here I teach you how to concentrate on your strength, and other peoples strength, use them and build on them to become a better you and strengthen your relationships..
• Patch Up Phase
The Patch Up Phase is the V.I.R.T.U.E. part acronym and the goal of therapy. Virtue, according to the APA dictionary (2007, P, 982) is something that is beneficial to one’s psychological health. Philosophers refer to virtue as a state of doing good habit. Thus, virtue in this sense is the conditioning (developing) good habit that is beneficial to one’s psychological health. V.I.R.T.U.E. is also what you can expect from me during the therapeutic process
V= Here I listen to you and validate your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I also will help you create virtue (The habit of healthy and helpful behaviors).
I=- Here I will Inspire you and aid you in inspiring yourself and others. I will Instill hope in you and teach you to create hope in yourself and others. I will also help you increase yourself-acceptance and others.
R=- Here I will help you create healthy rules, roles, and rituals in the system and/or individual. I will teach you how tor reinforce sustain your new and helpful thoughts and behavior. I will also help you recreate and make narratives more that are helpful and realistic.
T= Here I will teach you to transcend the issues helping you externalize the problems, conflict and/or symptoms (separate you and your relationships from the issue, so you do not take things personally) s I will help you transform yourself and the system .Teach you the difference between content and process. I will also teach you to listen for and recognize the process and not be as focused on content.
U= Here I will help you create unconditional respect and acceptance of yourself and for others.
E= Here I will re- evaluate your progress and adjust our goals and interventions accordingly.
Contact me to see how I can help you with
Anxiety Disorders (Separation Anxiety Disorder, Specific Phobia, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders (Reactive Attachment Disorders Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Acute Stress Disorder
Sleep-Wake Disorders (Insomnia Disorder, Hypersomnolence Disorder. Nightmare Disorder
Sexual Dysfunctions, (Delayed Ejaculation, Erectile Disorder, Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, premature (Early) Ejaculation)
Disruptive, Impulse-Control, and Conduct Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder Intermittent Explosive Disorder Conduct Disorder
Relational Problems (Problems Relate to Family Upbringing, Parent-Child Relational Problem,, Sibling Relational Problem, Upbringing Away from Parents, Child Affected by Parental Relationship Distress, Relationship Distress with Spouse or Intimate Partner, Disruption of Family by Separation or Divorce, High Expressed Emotion Level Within Family, Uncomplicated Bereavement)
Abuse and Neglect of Child
Abuse and Neglect of adult (Spouse or Partner Violence, Physical, Spouse or Partner Violence, Sexual,, Spouse or Partner Psychological Abuse,, Adult Abuse by Non-spouse or Non-partner, Adult Sexual Abuse by Non-spouse or Non-partner,, Adult Psychological Abuse by Non-spouse or Non-partner
Bipolar and Related Disorders
Substance-Related and Addictive Disorders
Educational and Occupational Problems
Other Problems Related to the Social Environment
Problems Related to Crime or Interaction with the Legal System
Religious or Spiritual Problem
Discord with Social Service Provider, Including Probation Officer, Case Manager, or Social Services Worker
Unspecified Problem Related to Unspecified Psychosocial Circumstances
Personal History of Military Deployment
Other Personal Risk Factors
Problem Related to Lifestyle
Adult Antisocial Behavior
Child or Adolescent Antisocial Behavior
Not sure which if any of these conditions fit you. Not to worry these are just labels of a problem, symptom and/or conflict (content) which are dealt with in the Tourniquet Phase. What really matters is the other phases of my modal.Contact me now and see how I may help you.
- Relationship issues
- Family conflicts
- Trauma and abuse
I also have experience in Stress, Anxiety, Grief, Intimacy-related issues, Sleeping disorders, Parenting issues, Anger management, Self esteem, Bipolar disorder, Depression
LPC #LPC.0014527 (Expires: 2021-08-01)
I appreciate Marks approach with me and getting to know me before we dive into the, well call it the deep work! He is a great listener and because of that for me I feel more open towards him! I trust mark and I believe him to be a very genuine person who honestly cares and would recommend him to anyone!!!
Mark Miller has given me the support I was looking for. He listens very well. He gives advice. I hear his understanding and I sense his experience. He gives exercises which have been valuable to me. I am glad to have him as my counselor.
Mark has been an excellent counsellor and I am grateful to be able to speak with him about my life.
He is the perfect person for what I need in therapy.
Mark is extremely compassionate, always has great insight into looking at things from a different perspective and is understanding in a way that makes you feel comfortable sharing anything.
Mark is great. He listens and has on many occasions help me "see the light" so the saying goes. I recommend!