Abuse And Mental Health: What Is Coercive Control And What Are Its Impacts?

Coercive control often plays a central role in domestic abuse. However, this form of abusive behaviour can sometimes be difficult to recognize due to its subtle and progressive nature. From financial threats to manipulation of social media accounts to restricting interactions with the outside world, acts of coercive control can be dangerous and damaging and often escalate into or co-occur with other forms of abuse. Below, we’ll explore the complex nature of coercive control, its potential mental health impacts on those targeted by it, and how to seek out healing and support. 

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What is coercive control?

Coercive control is a pattern of actions designed to strip away a person’s sense of autonomy and self-worth. It often takes place within an intimate or family relationship. Rather than relying on physical force, someone using this form of abuse manipulates and intimidates their target through psychological means. 

Warning signs of coercive behaviour in relationships

Coercive control doesn't usually begin with outright restrictions. Instead, it tends to build over time. Some warning signs of coercive behaviour in relationships include:

• Monitoring communication, including reading texts or emails without consent
• Financial control in the form of rigorously monitoring spending or insisting on controlling all spending
• Making degrading remarks disguised as jokes or criticism
• Discouraging time spent with loved ones, sometimes under the guise of concern
• Making threats about ending the relationship, engaging in an outside sexual relationship, or punishing the target emotionally for not complying

Recognizing coercive patterns: What is coercive control?

Additional examples of consistent coercive patterns and controlling behaviour might include:

• Repeatedly threatening to harm oneself or others if the partner leaves
• Insisting on having one’s passwords or tracking their phone location
• Dictating daily routines, including what to wear or when to eat
• Making financial threats, such as threatening to cut off their ability to use shared funds or other financial resources
• Undermining confidence by consistently questioning decisions or abilities

Is coercive control a form of domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse can be defined as “Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse.” It’s any type of abusive behavior that takes place between people who live together, whether they’re intimate partners or family members. Abuse can impact anyone, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race or ethnicity, and socioeconomic background.

While many people think of domestic abuse as physical abuse, such as hitting, kicking, choking, or shoving, it’s possible to experience it without ever being subjected to direct physical harm. Domestic abuse can also take the form of sexual violence or non-physical abuse, like emotional or psychological abuse or financial abuse, among others. In other words, it encompasses a wide range of potential behaviors that cause harm and can take place in close relationships. 

For example, a target might live with being constantly belittled, watched, restricted, or threatened in ways that leave no physical mark. Coercive control fits into this broader definition of abuse, as it can cause deep harm even if there’s no physical abuse present—though it is possible for a person to experience multiple types of abuse in the same situation.

The often-subtle nature of this form of domestic abuse

Recognizing the signs of coercive control means understanding that abuse isn’t always easy to recognize, especially from the outside. With coercive control, the damage is often done subtly, behind closed doors, without outward signs that something is wrong.

The difference between coercive control and other forms of abuse

Unlike episodic or isolated forms of abusive behaviour, coercive control is ongoing and sustained. Coercive control is also often strategic. For example, an abuser may set arbitrary rules enforced by threats and change them at will, to ensure their target is constantly on edge. These behaviours can be as subtle as criticizing clothing choices or as overt as threatening to take away children or one’s ability to use money.

Examining the impacts on personal freedom and autonomy

This loss may affect a person's ability to:

• Apply for jobs or keep employment
• Maintain supportive personal relationships
• Make decisions without fear of punishment
• Maintain any sense of agency, well-being, or safety
• Leave the relationship safely, especially if the abuser is controlling finances or threats are involved

How coercive behaviour is used to isolate and control

One of the most prominent aspects of the experience of coercive control is its capacity to isolate. Targets may find their social worlds shrinking as they’re discouraged or forbidden from seeing friends and family, attending work, or using social media accounts.

Over time, their world may become smaller, making them more dependent on the person exerting control. This isolation can make it harder for others to see what’s happening and even harder for the person experiencing it to reach out for help. This can be even more immediately dangerous if the coercive control escalates into or occurs alongside physical violence.

How coercive control can affect mental health and emotional stability

Experiencing coercive control can lead to significant emotional and psychological strain. Constant second-guessing, shrinking autonomy, the fear of doing the “wrong” thing can take a significant emotional toll. 

Some common mental health effects while abuse is ongoing may include:

• Anxiety and panic attacks
• Sleep disturbances
• A sense of emotional numbness
• Depression
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions
• Feeling disconnected from oneself and/or others

Potential long-term mental health effects of coercive control

Even if an abusive relationship ends, the effects can linger. Healing after leaving an abusive situation typically takes time and patience, especially when the abuse has shaped daily life for an extended period of time. 

Just a few possible long-term mental health impacts a person might experience—particularly without professional mental health support—may include:

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), with symptoms like flashbacks, hyperarousal, and emotional numbness
• Chronic anxiety or depression, characterized by ongoing fear or hopelessness
• Low self-esteem or identity disturbance, including a loss of confidence and difficulty recognizing one’s own needs or desires

Getting help for abuse

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control or other types of abuse in a relationship, support is available. Below are some resources that can help a person with safety planning and next steps:

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• Love Is Respect
• Local shelters and clinics
• Your primary care doctor

Healing after experiencing coercive control: restoring mental health and identity

Even after prolonged family violence or intimate partner abuse, there are ways to move forward. Reclaiming identity and mental health after escaping an abusive situation may take time, but with the right support, healing is possible.

Pathways to healing may include:

• Working with a trauma-informed therapist to unpack and process past events
• Building a support system, including friends, family, and survivor groups
• Relearning boundaries and understanding where comfort ends and control begins
• Journaling or creative expression to reconnect with inner thoughts and desires
• Exploring safety planning and legal protections when necessary

How therapy can help

Therapy is often a key component of a domestic abuse survivor’s pathway to emotional healing. A therapist can provide a person with a safe and compassionate space to process their experiences and find a new way forward. They can also support them in rebuilding their self-esteem and personal autonomy and cultivating skills for setting boundaries and strengthening their support network. 

Types of therapy that may be beneficial for an abuse survivor

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an approach to talk therapy that research suggests can be effective in treating symptoms related to trauma, depression, and anxiety, all of which can result from experiencing abuse. CBT can help individuals learn to identify and shift distorted thought patterns, often leading to improved emotional regulation and greater self-understanding. 

Trauma-informed CBT in particular can be especially effective for survivors of abuse, though a therapist might also recommend other approaches, like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

The benefits of online therapy

Not everyone feels comfortable speaking about past traumatic experiences with a therapist face to face. Some people might prefer to attend sessions virtually, from the comfort of home, which is possible with online therapy. This format also tends to be more affordable than in-person sessions without insurance. Plus, research suggests that virtual sessions can often be equally effective as in-person therapy when treating symptoms of trauma, depression, and anxiety.