Understanding Psychological Abuse: How Emotional Abuse Can Impact Mental Health
- For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988
- For those experiencing abuse, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- For those experiencing substance use, please contact SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Psychological abuse is often not visible, yet its consequences tend to leave lasting emotional wounds. By shining a light on its effects, those affected by emotional and psychological abuse may be able to develop a better understanding of how to move forward. Here, we’ll explore what psychological abuse can look like, how it may impact mental health, and how to reach out for support in finding healing and emotional well-being.
What is psychological abuse?
Unlike physical abuse, which can result in bruises or broken bones, the damage of psychological abuse generally isn't easily visible on the surface. This form of abuse tends to have a subtle and ongoing nature that can make it difficult to recognize, especially for those experiencing it.
Someone who is psychologically abusive may seem benign or even caring to others outside the relationship. They may use subtle manipulation, guilt, or threats to maintain control, and they often engage in these behaviors primarily behind closed doors. Because it typically builds over time, targets of psychological abuse may not realize what’s happening until they’re actively experiencing significant impacts.
Defining psychological and emotional abuse
Psychological and emotional abuse—the terms for two similar concepts that will be used interchangeably here—can be defined as patterns of behavior used to control, belittle, isolate, or otherwise psychologically manipulate another person. It doesn’t require physical contact to do harm.
Examples might include:
- Constant criticism or belittling
- Gaslighting (denying reality to make the target doubt themselves)
- Controlling who someone talks to or where they go
- Threatening harm or abandonment
- The “silent treatment” as punishment
- Blaming the target for problems in the relationship
- Using guilt as a tool for control
These behaviors can leave deep psychological scars on survivors. Examples can include confusion, low self-worth, chronic anxiety, and a sense of walking on eggshells.
Psychological vs. physical abuse
Where physical abuse often involves direct harm like, hitting, slapping, and other acts violence, emotional abuse works more covertly. Physical violence is often easier to identify due to the tangible signs it can leave, like bruising or injuries.
On the other hand, psychological violence can happen in plain sight while remaining unnoticed by everyone—sometimes even including the person experiencing it. It might start with possessiveness or criticism and gradually become more severe. Though the nature of the abuse differs, both psychological and physical harm are serious and can be damaging in different ways.
What research says about the harms of psychological abuse vs. physical abuse
Psychological and physical abuse can both be deeply harmful, and their effects can linger long after the abuse ends. One study reports that “those who reported emotional abuse had higher scores for depression, anxiety, stress, and neuroticism personality compared to those who reported only physical, only sexual, or combined physical and sexual abuse.”
That said, it can be important to understand that one form is not worse than the other. Physical violence, mental abuse, and verbal abuse can all leave lasting impacts on one's mental health. It can also be important to note that emotional or psychological abuse often escalates into or occurs at the same time as physical abuse.
The impact of emotional abuse
Whether it occurs in childhood, in a romantic relationship, at work, or through family violence, the aftermath of emotional abuse can ripple through a person’s life, even after the relationship ends. For example, a survivor might experience:
- Persistent self-doubt
- Difficulty trusting others
- Hypervigilance or constantly feeling unsafe
- Struggles with decision-making
- Chronic feelings of guilt or shame
Over time, these experiences may affect friendships, career decisions, and even physical health if left untreated. It’s not unusual for survivors of emotional and psychological abuse to experience changes in appetite, sleep, or even immune functioning due to long-term stress.
Uncovering the hidden impacts of psychological abuse
While some effects of psychological abuse are clear and more immediate, others tend to creep up subtly and remain long after the abuse ends.
Some of the lesser-known, long-term impacts of emotional abuse can include:
- Chronic indecisiveness
- Difficulty feeling joy, even during positive experiences
- A persistent sense of guilt, even when nothing is wrong
- Fear of success or visibility
- Feeling disconnected from one's body or surroundings (dissociation)
- Emotional numbness or apathy
- Excessive people-pleasing tendencies
- Fear of conflict or assertiveness
- Trouble forming or maintaining close relationships
- Self-blame for others’ actions
Statistics on the mental health outcomes of abuse
The connection between emotional abuse and mental health is well-documented, with research revealing how profound the impacts can be:
- 48.4% of women and 48.8% of men have experienced at least one psychologically aggressive behavior by an intimate partner in their lifetime
- Adults who experienced emotional abuse in childhood are 3.5 times more likely to experience depression later in life
- Exposure to verbal abuse is linked to increased risk of anxiety disorders, particularly generalized anxiety disorder
- Nearly 80% of individuals who report intimate partner violence also meet criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Survivors of domestic violence are twice as likely to develop serious mental illnesses, including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia spectrum disorders
From children to adults: understanding cycles of abuse
In many cases, those who experience physical and/or emotional abuse as children may unconsciously recreate similar dynamics as adults. This is often referred to as the “cycle of abuse.”
Some individuals recreate this cycle either by becoming abusers themselves or entering into physically abusive relationships. Without intervention, these patterns can go unnoticed or unaddressed for generations, highlighting the importance of recognizing the warning signs.
How psychological abuse impacts children
Children are especially vulnerable to emotional and psychological abuse. When people who should be sources of safety become sources of harm, it can alter brain development and shape emotional regulation over the long term. Consider the following statistics:
- Exposure to family violence in early childhood is associated with decreased cognitive functioning and lower academic performance
- One in four children exposed to verbal abuse go on to develop symptoms of PTSD
- Emotionally abused children are 30% more likely to develop substance use disorders in adolescence
- Early psychological violence leads to significantly higher levels of adult relationship instability and difficulty forming secure attachments
Healing from emotional abuse
Healing takes time. While there’s no single path that works for everyone, there are some practical steps that many find helpful on their journey back to themselves:
- Build safe relationships. Trust may take time, but even one supportive friend or group can become a foundation for emotional recovery.
- Learn about trauma. Understanding how trauma affects the brain and body can help reduce self-blame and build self-compassion.
- Practice setting boundaries. Try taking small, manageable steps toward setting clear emotional and physical boundaries.
- Seek professional support. A qualified therapist can offer a safe space and compassionate, trauma-informed support.
Mental health and recovery resources for survivors
For those looking for immediate help or guidance, several organizations provide support, such as:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
- Love Is Respect
How therapy can support the mental health of abuse survivors
In many cases, therapy can help individuals who’ve faced mental abuse better navigate their past, present, and future. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in particular can be effective in helping abuse survivors learn to identify harmful thought patterns and challenge internalized beliefs from past abuse. A trauma-informed therapist can also help them practice new, healthier coping strategies, build self-esteem and assertiveness, and address symptoms of anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), if applicable.
The benefits of online therapy
When it comes to mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, research suggests that online therapy can often be equally effective as in-person therapy. For many individuals, online therapy platforms can offer a practical and flexible way to start a healing journey. First, many find it more comfortable to meet with a licensed therapist remotely, from the comfort of home, than to commute to an office and speak with someone face-to-face. Plus, platforms like BetterHelp allow you to switch providers at any time for no additional cost, which can help you find the right fit.
Takeaway
How do you know if you're being mentally abused?
The National Domestic Violence Hotline lists many different warning signs of mentally and emotionally abusive behavior—because unlike physical abuse in most cases, it can sometimes be hard to detect. A few warning signs of emotional maltreatment include threats, intimidation, demeaning, shaming, or insulting you, controlling who you spend time with or where you go, and forcing you into sexual relationships or acts that you don’t want to do.
What are the five signs of psychological abuse?
Psychological aggression can take many forms. Five common behaviors that could constitute psychological abuse include:
- Threatening you
- Demeaning, shaming, or insulting you
- Intimidating you
- Controlling where you go or who you spend time with
- Isolating you from friends and family
What are the psychological effects of abuse?
Domestic abuse, family abuse, or interpersonal violence that takes place in other contexts can have long-term impacts on a person’s psychological health. For example, it could contribute to mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder, low self-esteem, and even physical health challenges like chronic pain.
What is the cycle of psychological abuse?
First may be the honeymoon phase, when everything seems alright. Over time, however, tension may gradually build between partners or family members involved. Eventually, the abuser’s own emotions or own feelings can boil over and they may lash out in psychological and/or physical violence. Then, in order to maintain coercive control, the abuser may apologize profusely and offer gifts and promises that it will never happen again, even as the tension starts to rebuild.
What are the psychological effects of being yelled at by a spouse?
Spousal violence or domestic abuse can take the form of a person yelling at their spouse. Particularly when this happens frequently, it can wear down a person's self-esteem, their ability to trust, and their overall mental well-being. Processing this trauma so it does not affect future relationships or personal self-worth can take time and the support of a therapist.
What is the difference between mental abuse and emotional abuse?
Mental abuse and emotional abuse are similar and can overlap in some cases. However, in general, mental abuse often aims at undermining a person's sense of reality, memory, or cognitive abilities, while emotional abuse attacks a person's feelings, such as their self-esteem. The distinction may matter for recognizing maltreatment and, in some cases, for proceedings in the criminal justice system.
What are the six stages of recovery from psychological abuse?
Recovering from psychological abuse can look different for each person. In general, however, it often starts with recognizing the patterns, overcoming barriers to seeking help, seeking help to exit the relationship (such as from a local shelter, women’s health clinic, or health and human services center), and then working toward healing from the long-term emotional abuse through support groups or therapy.
How long does it take to get over psychological abuse?
According to therapists and other emotional support workers, the amount of time it takes to process and heal from psychological abuse can vary widely depending on many factors. The duration of the abuse, the type of abuse, the survivor’s relationship to the abuser, the survivor’s mental health overall, and many others may affect the timeline. For example, someone who experienced child abuse in psychological form may have a different recovery timeline than someone who experienced spousal abuse or elder abuse. In many cases, it can take years, but a person is likely to see gradual progress over this time with the right support.
What is the best therapy for psychological abuse?
There are many different forms of mental health therapy that may be helpful for a person who has experienced psychological abuse. Trauma-informed cognitive behavioral therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are just two examples.
How to deal with a psychological abuser?
Reaching out for help is often required to seek safety when living with a psychological abuser. There are many different ways to seek support, such as calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline or reaching out to a local women’s shelter or crisis center.
- Previous Article
- Next Article