ADHD Tips From Child Development Experts

When your child has attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it can be a complex condition to address, as finding the line between genuine symptoms and misbehavior can be difficult. You may find yourself asking: When is it time to seek professional help and stop labeling children with ADHD very loosely? How do you discipline a child who won’t listen? 

Read on for a selection of helpful parenting tips for children with ADHD from experts in child development. 

What is attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder?

According to the American Psychological Association, ADHD is generally defined as a neurodevelopmental condition that can involve inattention, impulsivity and, in some cases, hyperactivity. People with ADHD might have trouble with organization, thinking before acting, making realistic plans and focusing. Behaviors related to ADHD can look different for everyone, and might include fidgeting, being noisy, difficulty adapting to changes in the situation, defiance, social ineptitude and aggression. 

While this can seem overwhelming, these symptoms can relent or become less aggressive for many with the correct therapeutic intervention and support, as discussed below. 

How ADHD symptoms can affect your child’s life

ADHD symptoms can create many difficult situations for your child, and by extension, for you. ADHD can impact a child’s school performance, social life, and emotional and physical health. It can also lead to comorbid mental disorders that create further challenges. It can be helpful to remember that their instances of acting out may not be entirely in their control. Rather than focusing on the strain that you may be feeling in your relationship, you can instead remember that children with ADHD experience the world differently. As the world is not necessarily aligned with their needs, this can cause disruption for them that can preclude what many perceive as bad behavior. 

Keeping this front of mind with your interactions can lead to a more fulfilling relationship for both parent and child, as well as a higher quality of life overall. Therapy can be a helpful resource to turn to if you’re experiencing concerns related to your child’s quality of life due to ADHD. 

Possible ADHD-related behaviors and triggers: Where do they intersect? 

Understanding the possible triggers that can initiate ADHD-related symptoms can help parents to support their child in maintaining a healthier lifestyle. 

Certain symptoms that can be tied to triggers can include: 

• Overstimulation: This can be caused by a range of triggers, specifically related to sensory issues. As children with ADHD may experience the world with a greater degree of intensity when it comes to sensory input. As a result, they may experience intense feelings of overwhelm, which can lead to an outburst in some. Others may recuse themselves and withdraw to work through the feelings that they are experiencing. 

• Avoidance of key tasks: This symptom isn’t generally caused by a behavior-related concern. Rather, it can be due to executive dysfunction, which can be a common experience for those who live with the condition. Dysfunction in this area can cause an apparent reluctance to change activities, as the possibility of doing so can feel completely overwhelming 

• Picky eating: Often regarded as a concern with behavioral causes, this can actually be happening due to sensory issues that your child may be experiencing. They may also be reluctant to try new foods. 

• Lack of resilience for changes: Changing plans and other seemingly “simple” shifts can feel overwhelming to someone who lives with ADHD. As a result, they can experience extreme nervousness, discomfort, and stress, which may result in an outburst. 

While these symptoms can be common in those who live with the condition, we do want to note that symptoms can lessen with the right supportive strategies in place. Online therapy can be a helpful place to start for many. 

Expert guidance for parenting children with ADHD: Where should parents start 

Many may find that they feel more empowered to support their child when they take the time to educate themselves about ADHD, and how this disorder can affect your child’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. If you aren’t sure where to start, you might consider speaking to your healthcare provider or therapist if you need help finding appropriate literature. There’s no shortage of available information, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know what you need to know. 

As you gain more knowledge about ADHD and effective ways to manage symptoms, you can be better prepared to help your child navigate the challenges of ADHD with support and guidance. 

Tip: Adapt your parenting style 

How you were raised can influence how you parent your children. However, if you didn’t grow up living with ADHD, those methods might not be the most effective way to connect with your child. The brains of people with ADHD don’t generally function the same way neurotypical brains work, and you may want to consider adapting your parenting style to make room for ADHD so you can meet your child on the same level. 

A therapist or the child’s clinician can give you resources that can assist you in this process, possibly promoting a greater degree of harmony within the parent-child relationship. 

Tip: Establish a structured routine and clear rules with consequences

Children with ADHD may perform better in structured environments where they receive clear instructions to help them identify acceptable behavior. Practice and consistency can be among the most crucial factors in teaching you and your child effective ways to interact. 

Tip: Model positive behavior

Many children might model their behavior after what they see and experience from you and other influential adults. It can help to regularly set aside time to spend with your child to establish and maintain a close, nurturing parent-child relationship. This can be helpful, as your child may consider you to be the ultimate model of acceptable behavior.

Tip: Anticipate explosions 

Many might find that poor emotional control can be a common symptom for people with ADHD. As a result, it can be difficult for your child to manage their emotions and behaviors in relation to your demands. 

They may struggle with adjusting to shifts in expectation, handle frustrations with outbursts, display highly emotional reactions and demonstrate explosive responses to criticism or correction. It can be helpful to remember that when your child is acting out, they may be having a hard time rather than engaging in “naughty” behavior deliberately. 

Tip: Target the behaviors, not the child with ADHD

Your child may frequently lash out with anger, defiance or aggression. Before reacting, it can be helpful to try to understand the underlying cause of your child’s behavior. Are they upset about something else and lashing out because of it? It can be helpful to pay attention to how your child reacts to certain situations, possibly tracking the emotions and conditions that can be likely to trigger outbursts. Doing this can allow you to successfully adjust your routine to avoid or account for them in the future. 

Tip: Ask your doctor if ADHD medication is an appropriate treatment

Medication for ADHD can make a positive difference for some children. Medication might be an appropriate option if your child’s symptoms severely interfere with their daily life and relationships, or if your clinician deems that it’s necessary. You might consider speaking to your child’s healthcare provider to discuss options and learn how ADHD medication could impact your child’s life. 

Tip: Pick your battles

Children with ADHD can be naturally impulsive and curious and have a strong sense of adventure. However, this can make parenting seem exhausting and frustrating at times. 

Many parents have found success in dealing with unwanted behavior using a strategy called active ignoring. You can attempt this strategy by ignoring adverse behaviors that are due to inattentiveness or hyperactivity, instead offering praise and attention when the undesired conduct stops.

This can be helpful, as traditional discipline can become counterproductive in children with ADHD—as the disorder’s symptoms might lead to frequent corrections. When a child feels he is always in trouble, discipline loses some of its meaning, and behaviors may subsequently shift toward being “worth” the punishment the child knows they will face.

Tip: Praise positive behaviors and catch them being good too

Many children with ADHD might respond favorably to positive attention as a pathway to behavior correction. Many experts suggest using specific language and emphasizing the association between positive feelings of praise with the behaviors you want to encourage. 

Tips for navigating adult ADHD

While the core symptoms of ADHD typically develop during childhood, the disorder often persists into adulthood. Additionally, ADHD has a significant genetic component; so, if your child is living with the disorder, you may be as well. The following ADHD tips and information can help you focus, stay organized, and remain productive. 

Like children with the disorder, adults with ADHD often struggle with executive functioning, which can make staying focused, controlling impulsive behaviors, and beginning (or switching between) tasks difficult. Because it can be hard for adults with ADHD to stay organized, they may struggle with time management and prioritizing important tasks. In adults, impulsivity and difficulty with self-control can also have a significant impact on everyday life. An individual with ADHD may, for example, make impulse purchases, leading to difficulty managing money. Or they may take on too many projects, which can exacerbate organizational challenges. 

To address the organizational challenges of adult ADHD, try to implement tools like a day planner, filing system, and to-do list. You can create electronic reminders on your computer or phone that help you remember important deadlines or tasks. It can also help to separate tasks—especially larger projects—into manageable steps. You may also want to create systems that make certain recurring chores easier. For example, you can go through your mail at specific times each day, sorting out junk mail and organizing the rest in a place that is easy to see.   

When ADHD makes it hard for you to focus, try to minimize distractions by concentrating on one task at a time. To avoid losing focus due to phone calls, texts, or other notifications, consider putting your phone on do not disturb or placing it out of reach. Try to also eliminate visual clutter from your workspace by creating a filing system for important materials and placing non-essential items out of view. 

Physical activity has been shown to improve focus and executive functioning in individuals living with ADHD. Exercise can also alleviate certain physical effects of ADHD, such as sleep problems and tension from high stress levels. Implementing a consistent exercise regimen can provide structure to your day as well; for example, scheduling walks throughout the day can help you both take regular breaks and experience the mental and physical benefits of exercise. 

How therapy can help you develop effective parenting skills

ADHD is a medical condition that generally requires help from a team of medical and mental health professionals to manage the symptoms effectively. Many children with ADHD see a psychiatrist for medication and attend talk therapy with a psychologist, among any behavioral modification changes to lifestyle and parenting. 

Working with a licensed therapist through an online therapy platform like BetterHelp can offer expert support and guidance as you learn to adapt your parenting to include ADHD and its effects. A qualified therapist can help you understand how ADHD affects your child and help you build a repertoire of practical behavior management and coping skills.

According to recent research, internet-based parenting interventions like therapy are an effective alternative often with lower costs and shorter wait times. Many online therapy providers offer flexible appointment options, making it easy and convenient to receive treatment from home.