Incel Meaning In Adolescence: How Misogynistic Incel Culture Affects Mental Health

From TikTok to Reddit to YouTube, the internet can play a significant role in popular culture in many ways. Some of these are positive, and some are negative. One of the more extreme examples of how the internet can influence culture is the "incel" movement. Like many other extreme ideologies, it tends to attract some of society's most malleable members: adolescents and young adults. 

This post will explore incel culture and where it began. It will also discuss the psychological drivers behind the incel movement and how they can affect mental health. Finally, it will offer suggestions for helping young men forge a strong, healthy sense of self via connection and mental health support.

What is incel culture (and what does the term “incel” mean)? 

The term “incel”—a hybrid of "involuntary” and “celibate"—has evolved from an obscure internet label to a controversial online subculture grounded in gender-based resentment and social alienation. It is primarily based on the notion that a portion of men in society are mistreated by women and are “destined to a life of involuntary celibacy” because they aren’t conventionally attractive or wealthy. 

Where did the term “incel” begin?

The term “incel” wasn't originally associated with the movement in popular culture today—it was coined in the 1990s by a woman on her personal website. Initially, she created the website to host a supportive community discussing how shyness and social awkwardness can make it challenging to find a sexual or romantic partner. As the website grew, her original term (“invcels”) was twisted by others into its current usage and grew to be associated with the “us vs. them” ideology that incels hold today. 

An overview of terminology in involuntary celibate culture

Incel culture typically uses specific terms and concepts to define its beliefs and interactions. A few of these terms reference the popular movie “The Matrix”:

• The “red pill” belief is that women have too much power in the sexual and romantic sphere.

• The “blue pill” belief represents mainstream beliefs and ignorance of the incel worldview.

• The “blackpill” belief is that one’s lack of sexual relationships or romantic success is predetermined. 

There are also terms to describe social hierarchy, including the following: 

• Chads: Conventionally attractive and socially successful men, often seen as ideal and desired by women

• Stacys: Attractive women, often perceived as only being interested in Chads

• Beckys: Women who are considered "average-looking" by incels

• Normies: Individuals who have average social and sexual lives, usually seen as being unaware of the incel worldview

How prominent is incel violence?

It can be important to differentiate between the incel ideology itself and the actions committed by a small number of violent incels who identify with it. Most individuals who identify as incels don’t resort to violence. In addition, violent acts committed by incels aren’t usually motivated solely by the ideology, but rather a combination of factors, including mental health challenges and social isolation. That said, incel ideology has been linked to dangerous behaviors and attitudes, including mass shootings, by a subset of individuals who identify with it.

Misogynistic themes and dehumanization 

A core aspect of incel ideology is a deep-seated resentment and hatred toward women, who are often blamed for their involuntary celibacy. This can manifest in incel forums dedicated to normalizing sexual violence against women through derogatory and dehumanizing language, among other tactics.

Endorsement of violence 

Some incel communities and individuals express support for violence against women and sexually successful men. This support is usually driven by a sense of entitlement and a desire for retribution. Online forums can become echo chambers that reinforce these beliefs and provide a sense of belonging to individuals who believe they are ostracized.

Radicalization 

Like other online communities, the environment of incel forums can facilitate the radicalization process, leading to the adoption of increasingly extreme beliefs. In some cases, these extreme beliefs result in violent actions. The sense of isolation and the need for belonging can lead individuals to become more susceptible to extremist ideologies.

Why are those in adolescence so vulnerable to the incel identity?

Adolescents may be more vulnerable to incel culture due to a combination of developmental factors. These may include the search for belonging and identity, underlying mental health difficulties, challenges with social and romantic relationships, and the pervasive influence of incel beliefs and language online. 

Psychological drivers behind the misogynistic involuntary celibate identity

Psychological motivators behind the incel worldview are typically complex, but research offers insights. One recent study collected survey responses from 151 incels and 378 non-incels with questions designed to measure different aspects of mental well-being. The researchers found those in the self-described incel group had increased levels of the following:

• The need for social recognition

• Moral superiority

• Lack of empathy

• Fixation on negative thought patterns

This study and others indicate that motivators behind incel ideology tend to be deeply rooted in social rejection, perceived romantic failure, identity confusion, and unmet developmental needs. The commonality between these motivators is the notion of victimhood.

Impacts on mental health 

Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and suicidal ideation are a few of the mental health challenges interwoven in the incel community. These issues can be exacerbated by romantic rejection and social isolation, potentially contributing to anger and resentment. Anger and resentment may be directed both externally and internally, manifesting as shame and self-loathing. There is empirical evidence to support these observations. For example, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that participants identifying as incels typically experienced significant rates of depression, anxiety, paranoia, and fearful attachment styles.

The role of societal norms in masculinity and emotional suppression 

Societal norms surrounding masculinity, particularly expectations of financial and sexual success, attractiveness, and emotional restraint, can contribute to a mix of mental health challenges. This may be a particular issue for incels. Research involving ex-incels reveals a complex relationship between the incel community, hegemonic masculinity, and emotional suppression.  

The contradictory relationship between masculinity and incel culture

Individuals typically identify as incels because they believe they are unable to (but want to) achieve the traditionally coveted ideals of masculinity, such as power, physical attractiveness, financial success, and sexual prowess. However, while incels may find community in hating the “Chads” of the world, after entering the fold, many are eventually inclined toward self-betterment. 

With personal growth often comes accusations of “fakecel-dom” and rejection from some in the incel community who label themselves as “trucels.” Discussions within incel forums often involve questioning or accusing others of being fakecels, particularly if they exhibit behaviors or attitudes that are seen as contradicting the "truecel" identity, such as being employed or aspiring to leave the incel lifestyle. 

Incels and emotional suppression

Commiserating with others is typically seen as a form of emotional expression. Many within the incel community cite this support and emotional validation from their male peers among the reasons they became incels. However, this is in contrast to many of the behaviors expressed within online incel communities. This tends to be particularly true for incel groups who subscribe to aspects of toxic masculinity, like the belief that men must be stoic and emotionally repressed. 

Additionally, some incel communities actively discourage members from seeking help for mental health disorders like depression and anxiety disorders. This can be evident in the hostility shown toward those who suggest suicide prevention or mental health support. 

Reframing masculinity and connection

It isn’t just incels—men from all walks of life may struggle with the often-unrealistic societal constructs of masculinity. Traditional, rigid definitions of masculinity frequently emphasize dominance, emotional suppression, and aggression, putting pressure on men to conform to these ideals. Some men may experience a sense of inadequacy and bitterness when they believe they have fallen short of these expectations. Traditional masculinity often discourages men from showing vulnerability and expressing emotions, which can lead to isolation and mental health challenges. 

Reframing masculinity may allow for a broader, healthier understanding of gender that embraces emotional intelligence, empathy, and respect for all. This can help challenge harmful ideas of what it means to be a man. By promoting a culture where men are comfortable expressing themselves, they may develop deeper connections with others and foster a more authentic sense of self. 

Supporting mental health in boys and men

Changing pervasive and damaging ideologies like those seen in the incel community often takes a joint effort on many levels—including within social media, communities, friends and loved ones, teachers, peers, and mental health advocates. Encouraging openness and emotional vulnerability can reshape the societal narrative around men's mental health and create healthy spaces where they are supported. Additionally, promoting positive role models who demonstrate healthy attitudes toward relationships and gender can help challenge harmful stereotypes and inspire men to embrace healthier identities. 

The mental health benefits of therapy in adolescence

Therapy can offer numerous benefits for boys in their adolescent years. With mental health support, they may learn to:

• Understand and manage their emotions

• Gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their values, and their goals

• Improve their communication skills

• Express themselves more effectively

• Recover from adversity and cope with stress and anxiety in healthy ways

• Cultivate self-awareness and understanding of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors

Therapy can help young people build self-esteem, stronger relationships, and confidence in themselves and what they can accomplish. It can also help their parents and guardians understand the best ways to support them through this potentially challenging stage of life.

Why online therapy may be ideal 

For a variety of reasons, young men experiencing challenges with isolation, identity, and self-esteem may feel reluctant to seek support from a mental health professional. For example, they might worry about the stigma associated with mental health difficulties, or they may fear emotional vulnerability. 

Research suggests that teens are more receptive to online therapy because it alleviates such barriers. One study confirmed that nearly three-fourths of adolescents would access online therapy if they were experiencing mental health challenges, and around one-third would choose online therapy over face-to-face support. 

Platforms like BetterHelp offer users ages 18 and older access to licensed therapists with diverse backgrounds and experience, and TeenCounseling can provide support for those ages 13 to 19. Online therapy can provide individuals with the opportunity to speak with a mental health professional from the comfort of home, a feature that may be particularly appealing to those with concerns over stigma and emotional expression.